TNG Caption This #190: Photon Tomatoes

[LeadHead]

Good Saturday to you all, after having a lot of busy saturdays I'm finally able to bring the new contests starting time back to where it should be.

Lets kick things off by showing some winners!

First: The "Time Travel Through Shiny Objects" Award goes to:

Geordi: No doc, This isn't fixing my VISOR. And now I'm having visions that I'm hosting some TV show from the 80s

Next: Choosing the winner on the next cap was very difficult because we had 2 that were fighting it out for the win, so both win.

The "Your Medical Insurance can't possibly cover this" Award goes to:

Beverly: "This particular scan may affect certain nerve pathways that could--"
Deanna: "Oooooooooohhhh!"
Beverly: "--trigger an orgasm."
Deanna: "Oh, my... Beverly, do it again!"

And the "Breaking the 4th wall" Award goes to:

Troi: "So, have they firmed up?"
Crusher: "I'll need another hour to check."

both turn to camera

Troi: "That should keep you fanboys in Kleenex for a while."
Crusher: "The things we do for you." shakes her head wearily.

Next, the "Whoops!" Award goes to:

"I'm sorry Jean-Luc...the test strip indicates I'm pregnant."

Next, the "Stating the obvious" Award goes to:

Deanna (OS): "How do you feel?"

Will: "Seriously?! Look at me! I feel like a freaking pin cushion."

Next: The "Klingons do not have bad breath" Award goes to:

CRUSHER: Breath mints, Worf. Think about it.

And we have a tag-team for the next one:

Troi: Ship Councillor's Personal Log. My mother is on board again. I wouldn't be surprised if her business on this puke-colored planet was another husband pursuit.

Lwaxana: Oh hello there little one, I just met the most interesting man down there. His name is Vomitus and I think you two should...

Our Photoshop Award goes to:

"Resistance is futile. Your biological and technological distinctivness will be added to our own. End of line."

And a Multi-Cap award goes to:

Picard: "Captain's log, stardate 9021.0, after a much needed break, I have decided to allow the crew to run the ship and do as they feel is right. I'm sure all is well..."

Geordi: "UNGNNNNNN!!! TURN IT OFF, TURN IT OFF!!!"

Troi: "I didn't mean to crash that Enterprise D similation in the holodeck with the safety off -- just preparing for tonight when I take the helm."

Riker: "Oh baby, bring on the pleasure probes..."

Beverly: "ZZZAAAA-AGT-AGT-AGT-AGT-AGT..."

Picard: Slaps his head with boths hands, "Oh, Beverly -- what a fool I was to leave the crew to their own devices!"

Beverly: "Oh, Jean-Luc, I'm sure it wasn't so bad. Now if you'll excuse me a moment, I appear to still have some static cling."

Picard: "Wait, what?"

Time for some new captions, have at it!

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: This is such a nice planet.

Worf: Ensign Johnson just got killed.

Riker: Still a nice planet.

Brent Spiners fanbase became less happy with him when they discovered he co-wrote Nemesis.

Wesley: Sorry!

Riker: I can't believe you let a teenager drive this starship!

Crusher: You aren't going anywhere, nobody stands up Beverly Crusher! Nobody!

Worf: Aw, man. Nobody's waving.

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Thanks for the win!!!! (does the thanks for the win dance)

*Gold shirts get shot*

Riker: HEY!!!! What are you doing!!! Worf, careful where you're walking! You'll break these pots on the ground!

Star Trek: Reloaded

Directed by the Wachowski Brothers

Picard: Dammit Wesley!! Go around the asteroids not through them!!

Worf: Road trip! Road trip!

Data: Commander. I have noticed that you have used a terminology that does not apply to our situation. As we are in the depths of space there is no road for us to make a trip on, conversely, due to the fact that....

Worf: *sigh*

 

[Finn]

(OS): Jaffa..Kree!
Worf: *sigh* And I thought the one with Data's baby blues was weird.

You ain't experienced it until you had the other Yar.

Riker: Damn it, Woman!...
Troi: Sorry, sweetie
Riker, you shoulda know better. The connie barely could get in the Orbital spacedock.

Worf: Sir...The nacelles...They're blue
Data: We aren't supposed to notice
Worf: Sorry

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Data: "Now, now, darlin'! Your phaser may say 'no,' but your eyes say 'Yes! Yes!'"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Riker's red uniform proved to almost be fatal when at the last second a random lieutenant stands up in the both of the blast.

Data: "Please ascend the beam horizontally, as I appear to able to limbo with ease at this height."

Tasha's sister: "Limbo? Oh -- right!"

The new Intersteller Transportation Administration said nothing about fireworks in overhead storage compartments.

Alien on far right: "I can't believe it's butter!"

Crusher: "You better damn well start believing."

 

[Smellincoffee]

Worf: Commander, this planet is inhabited by hostile lens flares!

Data: You missed a spot.
Spot: Meow!
Data, pausing: I am sorry, Spot. That was intended as a joke.

Picard secretly thought it was fun when the ship's inertial dampeners failed.

And with apologies to Capt_Pickirk, who beat me to the punch(line):

Data: Engaging thrusters.
(beat)
Data and Worf: ROAD TRIP!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Worf (noticing warp nacelle): "I think the tip is supposed to be redder than that. Don't you?"
Data (uncomfortably): "Umm...perhaps that is something you should discuss with Doctor Crusher."

 

[Subcommander R.]

Geordi: Whoa, somebody's phaser was set to pwn.

The Phaser Limbo contest was a sport too brutal even for Klingons.

[/I]

After shore leave on Tijuana VII, Picard started to consider cracking down on illegal fireworks.

Crusher: This is the most powerful phaser in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

While Data found the Mickey Mouse setting on his Disney GPS quite fun, Worf wasn't nearly as amused.

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: Call the ship. That was our last goldshirt. If we don't get more, one of you will have to take the hit.

DATA: Missed me.

WORF: Sorry, I had the burritos at lunch.

CRUSHER: Be honest. How does this hat look on me?

DATA: Crap, its the cops. Let me do the talking...

And find a way to empty out the glovebox without them seeing.

 

[Gary7]

Thanks for the selection, LeadHead.

Worf: "Commander, a phaser beam just hit Ensign Johnson!"
Riker: "Yeah, that's a shame... Wow, check out this ancient broken pottery lying here."

Throughout Starfleet, Data was the undisputed king of laser limbo.

Picard: "Oh, isn't it grand Will? I just love Fireworks Fridays on the bridge!"

Riker: (muttering to himself) "I'm sick of this... I knew I should have taken that commission aboard the Melbourne."

Dr. Crusher: "Alright you two. Your public display of affection is making me sick, not to mention that you both look like one of your parents was an animal. Now get your butts out of this bar!"

Worf: "I sure hope this trip to the Borg cube doesn't take too long. They're serving Salisbury steak for dinner tonight."

.

 

[Itisnotlogical]

Worf: Shouldn't we help that guy over there being shot?

Riker: He owed me money.

Data: I appear to have aggravated some people when I did not bow down to the Blu-Ray, 3D, holodeck-compatible, full color release of Avatar.

Worf: What is the nacelle doing so close to the saucer?

Data: Troi got into a fender-bender at the training course.

Worf: ... but isn't the course closed off to other ships during a lesson?

 

[Mojochi]

The playing field evened out a bit, when by the 24th century, the red shirts started figuring out to duck behind the yellow shirts

Data: What was I suppose to do, perjure myself? They made me say I had sex with her. It was a trial

Riker: Goddamn Klingon heartburn

Beverly: And no weak stuff either. I want to see tongue

Worf: Seriously.... When the light changes, floor it. I think we can take them

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

The Redshirt effect was still affecting away teams, but the way Riker arranged the beam down coordinates you wouldn't think it.

EDIT; D'oh, I was beaten to that one by Mojochi just above.

 

[Supernuke]

Riker was extremely lucky in that he found the one person on board who was willing to take a phaser hit for him.

 

[Gary7]

Worf: "Do you think we can take 'em?"

Data: "Affirmative." (stiffly jabbing a thumbs up)

 

[Gary7]

Data: "Make preparations for final descent, Worf. We will be approaching the Cozumel landing site in approximately 6 minutes. From that point on, we will be in 'vacation mode.'"
Worf: "I am very much looking forward to getting away. The Captain should probably go on vacation as well, judging by his difficult manner in recent weeks."
Data: "Speaking of the Captain, you did remember to tell him we where we were going?"

Worf's face suddenly goes pale

Data: "Worf?"

 

[Mr. Adventure]

"Jesus, Beverly, I'm just saying that new wig ain't doing you any favors. You should be thanking me."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Geordi: "Oh my God! Ensign Lynch has been shot!"

Riker: "Anyone know his first name?"

Worf: "No."

Geordi: "Not me."

...

...

Riker: "Meh. Anyway about these pots..."

 

[Supernuke]

Beverly had a 50% chance of getting her orders to "shoot the uglier one" correct.