TNG Caption This #189: Ill effects...

[Alrik]

Picard (OS): "Have you been able to access the data yet Mr LaForge?"

Geordi: "No sir, not yet. It's taken longer than expected to get past Commander Riker's porn collection. This file is massive!"

Deanna: "Oh, Beverly. My head...MY CLOTHES! What happened?"

Beverly: "Two-fer-Tuesday Tequila Night."

Deanna (OS): "How do you feel?"

Will: "Seriously?! Look at me! I feel like a freaking pin cushion."

Beverly: "I'm a little hungry. Would you like me to get us a couple of 'quwa-sants'?"

Jean Luc (thinking): "Croissant, for the love of pete, croissant."

 

[Starbreaker]

I had to share a turbolift with a kid. Shoot me up.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

By the 24th Century, mankind had lost the technology to create compact headphones...

Troi: "So, have they firmed up?"
Crusher: "I'll need another hour to check."

both turn to camera

Troi: "That should keep you fanboys in Kleenex for a while."
Crusher: "The things we do for you." shakes her head wearily.

Picard: "I swear, Beverly, this doesn't usually happen."

Crusher: "All I'm saying is that a little blue pill and you won't have to worry about it happening again."

Crusher: "Most men don't need to have their ego deflated after each time they have sex."

Crusher: "There can be only one!"

...

Crusher: "Hold on, no one's been decapitated?"

Data os: "Sorry, that would be me. I'm giving my orifices an acetone flush today."

Data: "According to readings, we've arrived at Earth in the mid-twenty-first century."

Picard: "Ah... pollution."

Riker: "Global Warming."

Wesley: "The Ozone Layer."

Data: "Incorrect sir. Sarah Palin has just been elected president, and the population of Earth collectively and simultaneously vomited when the result was announced."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "Captain's log, stardate 9021.0, after a much needed break, I have decided to allow the crew to run the ship and do as they feel is right. I'm sure all is well..."

Geordi: "UNGNNNNNN!!! TURN IT OFF, TURN IT OFF!!!"

Troi: "I didn't mean to crash that Enterprise D similation in the holodeck with the safety off -- just preparing for tonight when I take the helm."

Riker: "Oh baby, bring on the pleasure probes..."

Beverly: "ZZZAAAA-AGT-AGT-AGT-AGT-AGT..."

Picard: Slaps his head with boths hands, "Oh, Beverly -- what a fool I was to leave the crew to their own devices!"

Beverly: "Oh, Jean-Luc, I'm sure it wasn't so bad. Now if you'll excuse me a moment, I appear to still have some static cling."

Picard: "Wait, what?"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Technician (OS): "Now accessing his memory neurons... Oh, dear! I'm finding a lot of images of Captain Picard in assless chaps!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

"Captain's Log, Stardate 39468.5. We have arrived at the planet Pixelation III."

 

[PianoWizzy]

LaForge: Uh, doctor, why is it when I try to pull my head back, my visor stays in place?
Crusher (OS): Have you tried releasing the tractor beam hold?

Beverly: Now I know I put it around here somewhere...
Jean-Luc: Good lord help me with this woman.

Riker: durr.

Crusher: *sighs* Why can't I get any normal patients.

Troi: Ship Councillor's Personal Log. My mother is on board again. I wouldn't be surprised if her business on this puke-colored planet was another husband pursuit.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Riker: "Mmmm...donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: Want.... Crusher....back....

Pulaski: Turn up the intensity! What do you want?

Riker: Want....Pulaski....to....stay....

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Troi: "So, have they firmed up?"
Crusher: "I'll need another hour to check."

both turn to camera

Troi: "That should keep you fanboys in Kleenex for a while."
Crusher: "The things we do for you." shakes her head wearily.

EPIC WIN!!!

 

[Subcommander R.]

Troi: Ship Councillor's Personal Log. My mother is on board again. I wouldn't be surprised if her business on this puke-colored planet was another husband pursuit.

Lwaxana: Oh hello there little one, I just met the most interesting man down there. His name is Vomitus and I think you two should...

 

[Smellincoffee]

Picard refused to exit his quarters for days after Beverly told him who Wesley's true father was.

 

[Mr. Adventure]

"Resistance is futile. Your biological and technological distinctivness will be added to our own. End of line."

"Oh God, Beverly, Amway?"

 

[Itisnotlogical]

Geordi: Damn Yellow-Ray players, I get the thing set up and it's only a plastic model. The real one's $12000000. Well, Picard didn't need that $5000 anyway...

Crusher: Alright, what do you need psychotherapy for this time?

Troi: It's those damn perverted fanboys again!

Picard was so crushed when he didn't win the last Caption Contest, he had to have Beverly fix him up with some feel-good drugs.

Riker: See? Dr. Crusher told you my skull had no brains in it!

Crusher: Damn Klingon orgasms.

 

[Supernuke]

While some Humans have been know to "vomit sunshine", some Klingons, tragically, have been known to vomit lightning bolts. Exhibit A...

 

[PianoWizzy]

Picard refused to exit his quarters for days after Beverly told him who Wesley's true father was.

Laughed so hard at this one.

 

[LeadHead]

All done here kids, come and say hi to our next contest:

http://www.trekbbs.com/showthread.php?t=133203