"The beard's not fake.
But my pubes? Different story."
TNG Caption This #160 - "With Intent to Supply"
- Thread starter cultcross
- Start date
"The beard's not fake.
But my pubes? Different story."
DATA:"Communicate verbally with the hand, sir.
Because my positronic net? It has informed me it does NOT want to hear it anymore."
This is blue. This is the blue ocean. This is the blue ocean at sunset. This is two people walking along the beach by the blue ocean at sunset. This is two happy people in love walking along the beach by the blue ocean at sunset. This is two happy people in love walking along the beach by the blue ocean at sunset avoiding eye contact with a syphilitic tramp. This is....
Data: "And then with my right hand, it is one in the stink, two in the pink."
Picard: "That's disgusting, Data."
Data: "No sir, disgusting would be what Commander Riker told me he did with Yuta. It is called an 'Alabama Hot Pocket'".
Picard: "An Alabama Hot Pocket? That sounds tasty."
.
Sir you have five seconds before I impale your larynx with my fingers.
Erm...
Four.
Mmm...
Three.
Hrmm...
Two.
Huh...
One.
Er?
<cocks hand>
Computer, cancel red alert, authorization Picard alpha one two three.
Wrong answer, bitch.
Data: One day sir, when I resign my commission, I'm writing a @#$% book.
Picard: But not I think today, Commander. You're a model officer.
Triumph: - for me to poop on!
DATA:"The Bangles are a MOST entertaining music group from Earth's late 20th century, sir."
Next time on BEYOND BELIEF: FACT OR FICTION:
Jonathan Frakes gets laid on the set of STAR TREK: TNG?
You be the judge.
Riker: Computer, one Alabama hot pocket. Ninety eight point six degrees.
Computer: There are four hundred and seven varieties of the Alabama Hot Pocket. Please specify subgrouping.
Riker: <regards Uta> Chicken fried.
DATA: Lay in a course for Five-Shimmy-Shimmy-Shiz, Captain.
PICARD: WTF?
RIKER: Want to see what I did with my Q powers?
YUTA: Show me yours and I'll show you mine!
RIKER: WTF?....ok!
"What can I tell you, Yuta?
Our replicators aren't programmed to make birth control. We'll have to wing it and hope for the best!"
"Read between the first and third lines, sir.
And eat it."
Riker: "Tell ya what. I'll play my trombone, and you can play the skin flute. How's that sound?"
Yuta: "Counselor Troi said you didn't have a skin flute... that it's more the size of a piccolo."
Riker: "Yeah, well go throw a Redwood tree into the Grand Canyon, and see how small that tree looks when it hits bottom!"
.
"What can I say?
I'm great at the trombone...YOU'RE even better on the skin flute!"
"Here, Yuta...let...let me demonstrate.
Back on Earth, we call this motion 'the Reacharound.' "