Data's attempt to explain the positronic, artificial birds and bees to a human like Picard failed miserably.
TNG Caption This #160 - "With Intent to Supply"
- Thread starter cultcross
- Start date
Data's attempt to explain the positronic, artificial birds and bees to a human like Picard failed miserably.
Next time on BEYOND BELIEF: FACT OR FICTION:
Jonathan Frakes gets laid on the set of STAR TREK: TNG?
You be the judge.
Yuta: I've got a penis.
Riker: Oh, well. Hasn't stopped me before.
YUTA:"Dirty Sanchez?
I...I do not understand."
RIKER:"You will, baby. Come with me."
Kanye: Imma let you finish, but - eeaagh!
Picard: Mr Data, humans don't have an off switch there.
Data: Nevertheless it seems to have rendered the desired result. <wipes bloody hands on Kanye's shirt before he collapses>
Positronic Pimp: " I need some ducats ta open muh ma fuckin own whorehouse so I can put dis here beeotch ta werk. I heard ya iz handing it out, so make wid de Benjamins, foo'"
Picard: "This isn't a branch office of ACORN, Mr. Data. Both of you get out of my ready room. Now."
.
"Stop! In the naaammme of love....Be-fore you breeeak my heart, whoah-a-whoah-woh-woh...."
"Payrise denied. Next."
"Man, Worf was right. You're tough. Fine, Riker's outside now. I think his appeal's going to involve a dance too, though."
"Look, I need to borrow a tutu, fast. Come on, if he approves I'll give you 20% of the winnings"
"Is this the usual way to decide who gets a pay rise?"
"The Captain's in one of those moods..."
And I said "Stop! Wesley. You must be at least this tall to go commando in the sauna".
And that's when he exposed himself to you?
Yes sir. He called it a..."helicopter".
Would you like to file a complaint?
Yes sir. I mean, we all expect kids to be whiny, but this is just aggressively annoying.
If it wasn't for Starfleet protocols I would have fixed his little red wagon years ago; but then, Riker would have spaced him and Worf, eaten him. I don't know what Geordi would have done...
Geordi would have transported his pituitary gland out of him and left him in floundering in a pre-pubescent hell. I know because he told me.
Well, that's more devious than I would have given Geordi credit for. Yes.
Yes.
Well. Where were we?
The complaint, sir.
Ah yes. Picard to Worf.
Yes captain.
Do you still have any pain sticks?
Yes sir. Why?
Wesley.
Yes sir. I will attend you as Cha'Dich.
Well, Mr Data. Satisfied?
Yes sir. But I admit I had hoped for something...
Yes?
I could put on Youtube with keyboard cat.
Very well. Bring your camcorder. I left mine at Bev - at Risa.
Yes sir. The crew has seen your homemade porno collection. It's filed on the ship BBS under "alternative lifestyles".
<Picard adusts collar>
Data's coin-disappearing tricks were impressive.
Especially when the quarter ended up inside Geordi's ass.
RIKER:"What can I say, babe?
My beard tickles. Ask anyone who's ever been drunk around me."
