TNG Caption This #155 - "Twist and Shout"

[jep]

You'll be saying "Wow" every time you use this fucking thing, because this is not just any paper towel you ignorant fuck. It will soak up anything. This towel is so fucking extreme it'll absorb your fucking dog.

What the fuck are you waiting for? Toggle that fucking communicator and order a Sham-wow now, bitch.

 

[cooleddie74]

"You want Epic, nervous FAIL with that?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Thanks for calling the Starfleet Help Desk. I'm Reg, how can I be of assistance.

Hmmm, try reversing the polarity.

No luck? Do a Tachyon pulse

Okay, this should work... reroute the power through a EPS conduit to the main deflector.

Well looks you'll have to eject the Warp Core.. Trust me the turbolift doors will work if you do it.

My supervisor?

 

[jep]

Because we're aliens, and that's how we roll.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for calling the Starfleet Help Desk. I'm Reg, how can I be of assistance.

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

 

[cooleddie74]

"Customer Assistance...this is Reg Hapassapeetupetawann. Can I help you?"

 

[jep]

"I dance, I dance, I dance, around the Mexican hat..."

 

[Captain Crow]

Barclay enjoys his new T'Pol Blow Up Doll.

 

[cooleddie74]

"SCREW the holodecks!!

I'm gonna enjoy the hell outta this!!"

 

[Captain Crow]

Barclay, sniffing: Why does this one smell like Riker's ass?

 

[tharpdevenport]

Barkley: "Cheif -- how did you know I had an invisible di-i-i-i-i-i-iOH! That's the spot..."

 

[Captain Crow]

Barclay: It sure is boring standing here waiting for something to happen.

O'brien: Yup.

Barclay: Wanna do jelly tugs to pass the time?

O'brien: Only if you let me do this to get the jelly off.

Barclay: Deal.

 

[NathanielM]

[

Barcley I'm sorry you are sick i told you not to swallow the whole load last night Chief...

Obrien: <murmuring> Thanks *cough* Alot *Cough* you bith...

 

[cooleddie74]

"Now all I need is a huge sombrero...and the BBS is sure to let me join!!"

 

[cooleddie74]

MILES:"Uhhhh...Reg.

You, eh...DO realize that's not the control to beam an object don't you?"

REG:"You...y-y-y-y-you mean I...I just...?"

MILES:"Vaporized Commander Data's pet cat Spot? YES."

REG:"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, dear."

 

[jep]

Positronic Pimp: "You did WHAT to my cat, whitebread?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

MILES:"Uhhhh...Reg.

You, eh...DO realize that's not the control to beam an object don't you?"

REG:"You...y-y-y-y-you mean I...I just...?"

MILES:"Vaporized Commander Data's pet cat Spot? YES."

REG:"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, dear."

O'BRIEN: "Don't worry, I hear Delta Vega is nice place to live."

 

[Daneel]

MILES:"Uhhhh...Reg.

You, eh...DO realize that's not the control to beam an object don't you?"

REG:"You...y-y-y-y-you mean I...I just...?"

MILES:"Vaporized Commander Data's pet cat Spot? YES."

REG:"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, dear."

REG: "Wait, I've got it! Lieutenant Wilson's cat had kittens a few months ago, and there's still one left that she's been trying to find a home for! I'll just get that one from her, put it in Data's quarters, and he'll think it's Spot! He'll be none the wiser."

MILES: "Uh, Mr. Barclay, you do realize that cat isn't of the same breed or gender as Spot, don't you?"

REG: "Well, yes, but I'm sure Data won't notice."

 

[cooleddie74]

REG:"Which key activates the beam that cleans the seat of pants again?"

 

[Alrik]

Miles: *cough* "Um. Your other left, sir."