Troi <innocently> Did you want me to take my clothes off right here Graves?
GRaves: Oh Yea... I got a woody for you to see too let me pull it out for you...
TNG Caption This #153 - "Self Diagnostics"
- Thread starter cultcross
- Start date
The Romulans' first attempt to replace Geordi with a life-sized marionette nearly worked - but for his sudden, inexplicable increase in personal magnetism.
As the bridge restroom doors opened Geordi was suddenly overpowered by the stench left behind form Worf's recent dump.
[
<Doors of lift open revealing Wesley Crusher in the nude> I'm ready for you Jordy.
Jordy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
<Doors of lift open revealing Wesley Crusher in the nude> I'm ready for you Jordy.
Jordy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Graves: "I've seen this kind of thing before. The caption contest don't end until your hair is as white, and sparse, as mine."
Troi: "Well, what can we do?"
Graves: "Do? Not a damn thing."
Worf, to himself: "What's the matter, don't like the smell of a lingering Blood Wine fart left in the turbolift?"[/QUOTE]
Geordi: Ok will take care of... OH my GOD! (seeing wesley handcuffed and bent over in turbolift with a ballgag)
Worf: (thinking) I couldn't help it, I had too much prune juice... and i got suddenly horney...
damn you shat... 
damn good quote...
LOLOLOLOLOLOL!
Nathaniel
damn good quote...LOLOLOLOLOLOL!
Nathaniel
Graves: "Well for a man of my years it takes me alot to get started and get hard.. the viagra hasn't been helping and I've had to do some self diagnostics."
Troi: "Well, can we try? i can help you here.
Data <thinking> diagnostics, DIAGNOTICS I'll show you DIAGNOSTICS counciller, later tonight.. <Adjusts himself to allow his large android cock to sldee down his pantleg to the floor and make a CLUNK sound>
Graves: In my day we didn't have com systems or turbolifts. If we had a problem we'd take forty flights of stairs and walk four football fields worth of corridor to get to Enginering. We'd get there forget what we went there for go back across all those damn corridors and back up the flipp'n stairs and ask the captain what the fuck was I suppose to do in enginering. We'd write down what we were suppose to do and take those forty fuck'n flights of stairs and walk those ill design four football fuck'n field long corridors get there and be told that all I had to do was flip a switch on the console I was siting at on the bridge.Then we'd walk those dumbass "why fuck are these so long" four football field long corridors and climb back up those "why in the hell are there forty flights of when there's only 18 decks" stairs and flip the switch that was in front of me in the first place. AND WE LIKED IT!
Troi: Please shut up
Graves: And we didn't have have those fancy transporter things. When we needed to get to a planet surface we'd dangle a rope out of the ship, hold our breath, and repelled down to the planet. Forget what we were suppose to do then spend eight hours climbing up that rope, ask the captian what the fuck was I suppose to do on the planet surface. Write it down. Hold my breath and repel back down to the planet and be told all we had to do was flip a swith on the console we were sitting at in the first fucking place and reclimb that damn rope get to the bridge and flip that damn switch and thank the captain for wasting our time. AND WE LIKED IT!
Troi: SHUT THE FUCK UP! Can't you see you've been rambling for so long that Data's batteries have run down?
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Graves: I saw Billy Joel at Madison Square Garden, fourth row center.
Troi: That's nice.
Data: Big shot.
GRAVES:"I once did Greta Garbo's great-granddaughter.
Back when that MEANT something!!"
Nero's altering of history in the 23rd century had unpredictable ripples...including Geordi not only being born blind but having the worst inner ear infection ever recorded.
Graves: If a bear shits in the woods and noone is there to see it then did the bear take a shit or was there even a bear to shit in the woods in the first place?
Data: That is deep man.
Troi: Shut up Data.
Data and Troi weren't impressed by Graves's Sammy Davis Jr. impresion.
Graves: Hey maan quo pasa, Al sleet the Hippie Dippie Weatherman here with tonights weather. Sponsored by Parsons Pest Control. Tonight's forecast: Dark. Continued dark throughout most of the evening, with some widely-scattered light towards morning."
Troi: Oh my god its George Carlin!
Data: COOL!
Worf tried desperately not to laugh when he played a prank on Geordi with the Slip on a banana peel routine.
Geordi tried to amuse the bridge crew with his one man version of Swan Lake.
Troi: I know you're just saying hello, but on my planet that hand gesture is very rude.
Graves: Yeah? On my planet we call it the "shocker".
Data: Query...
Troi: Shut up, Data.
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