TNG Caption This #153 - "Self Diagnostics"

[Rat Boy]

Counselor Troi's hair dryer goes to eleven.

 

[cooleddie74]

It's not just a turbolift.

It's a trampoline!

 

[cooleddie74]

TROI:"Just you and the young lady live here...alone? On this whole big planet?"

GRAVES:"Not technically. I have a collection of blow-up pleasure dolls that FEEL alive some nights."

 

[Nerys Myk]

INDIANA JONES (off camera): No tickets!

 

[Gary7]

Graves: "Didn't believe me when I said I could pull my eye out of its socket, did ya? Now.... wait a second. Where'd I put my eyeball? Could have sworn it was in this pocket. No, not there. Maybe..."

Worf: (Thinking to himself) Being security chief... More fun than a barrel of monkeys.

 

[Captain Crow]

Graves: Dave 's not here man.

Crap over waxed the floor again.

or

Ensign Willber Thurstron Futter didn't notice the big "don't lean on turbo lift doors" sign.

 

[Alrik]

Hey, much thanks for the win!

Troi: "No Dr. Graves, the Double Nipple Twister has not replaced the handshake as the new formal form of greeting."

Graves: "Well it should."

 

[Shatmandu]

George Carlin: "I had my dead head frozen just so I could look at future titties, so plop them buggers out here, sweet-tonsils."

 

[Mistral]

Worf's idea of funny-altering the values of individual gravity plates.

 

[cooleddie74]

GRAVES:"...and then Noonien grabbed my upper leg, stuck his tongue in my ear and asked if I wanted to come back to his lab and see how positronic links are REALLY made.


We never spoke again after that day."

GEORDI:"YIPPPPEEEEEE!!!!

Leah said she'd drunkenly spoon with me!!!"

 

[BriGuy]

Riker: Was that a Klingon fart you left in the turblift, Mr. Worf?
Worf: Only kind I know, sir.

 

[Alrik]

Riker: "Mr. Worf. Has Geordi finished adjusting the inertial dampers for the Turbo Lifts yet?"

Geordi: "Wwwwhhhhhoooooaaaaaa!!!"

Riker: "Never mind."

 

[Alrik]

Geordi learned the hard way why Dr. Crusher had banned the wearing of Heelys while on duty.

 

[BriGuy]

Just look at his face, look at his face... let Data be the one to ask why he's not wearing pants...

 

[cooleddie74]

The Enterprise crew didn't mind listening to Dr. Graves' old stories.

Until he broke out in a horribly off-key rendition of "Faith of the Heart."

 

[cooleddie74]

Wesley had left his skateboard on the bridge for the LAST DAMN TIME.

 

[tharpdevenport]

You put your left foot in and the ship shakes all about. And that's what topedoes are all about.

 

[Honorable Ensign]

First pic: Old guy: "And you call that an accent? Hah!"

Second: Worf's personal force field provided a deterrant against kamikaze ensigns.

 

[Captain Crow]

Geordi: Heavens to Murgatroyd! Exit, stage left!

 

[Captain Crow]

Graves: You might want to pay attention to where you walk. I ran out of Depends so I just let the turds fall where they may.

Ensign Willber Thurstron Futter: OH, SHIT!

Graves: Exactly!