TNG Caption This #153 - "Self Diagnostics"

[Jadzia]

Riker: "Geordi. You remember that talk we had yesterday about prosthetic limbs?"

Geordi: "Losing my left leg is not a disability. I can walk just fine, Commander."

 

[Rat Boy]

Graves: "Something wrong with your blind fellow?"

Troi: "He's just a bit of a drama queen."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Worf: "Worf to sickbay. You had better send someone up here. LaForge is having flashbacks again to when he played in goal for Leyton Orient."

 

[cooleddie74]

"A Starfleet captain named Archer once claimed to have met me in a diner in Indiana...and that my name was Gushie...and I had a long beard and terrible breath."

 

[cooleddie74]

Geordi took just one tiny hit of acid.

Everyone else paid for it for the next week.

 

[Captain Crow]

Graves: I'd like you all to meet my dear friend Harvey the Rabbit.

 

[Rat Boy]

Graves: "Yeah, the blond really needs to learn how to clean up the place."

 

[Gary7]

Carlin: "Oh, I can't just show you my secret, little sweetie. You're gonna have to compensate me for my troubles. Now, I might become a little more cooperative after some fondling of your mammaries." (snicker)

 

[Triskelion]

Troi: I'm sensing relief.
Data: I'm sensing it from back here.

I love Rick Rolling Geordi's VISOR.

 

[Captain Crow]

Data and Troi were not amused when Graves demonstarted his musical abilities by farting the theme to Jeopardy.

 

[cooleddie74]

"...you ever notice how on a starship or down at a colony you always have more STUFF than the space for it? And when you finally get more space...you need more STUFF!"

 

[cooleddie74]

The Truffle Shuffle.

So cool, even the blind are doing it.

 

[NathanielM]

(jordy drunk and singing Devo parody)

WELL I BEEN WORKIN' ON A STARSHIP
GOIN' WARP WARP
WORKIN' ON A STARSHIP
WHEW ABOUT TO MELT DOWN

WORKIN' ON A STARSHIP
GOIN' WARP WARP
WORKIN' IN A STARSHIP
WHEW ABOUT TO MELT DOWN

FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNIN'
I'M UP BEFORE THE CREW
WHEN MY DUTY DAY IS OVER
I'M TOO TIRED FOR HAVIN' FUN

WORKIN' ON A STARSHIP
GOIN' WARP WARP
WORKIN' IN A STARSHIP
WHEW ABOUT TO MELT DOWN

WORKIN' ON A STARSHIP
GOIN' WARP WARP
WORKIN' IN A STARSHIP
WHEW ABOUT TO MELT DOWN

LORD I AM SO TIRED
HOW LONG CAN THIS GO ON?

WELL I BEEN WORKIN' ON A STARSHIP
GOIN' WARP WARP
WORKIN' ON A STARSHIP
WHEW ABOUT TO MELT DOWN

WORKIN' ON A STARSHIP
GOIN' WARP WARP
WORKIN' IN A STARSHIP
WHEW ABOUT TO MELT DOWN

FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNIN'
I'M UP BEFORE THE CREW
WHEN MY DUTY DAY IS OVER
I'M TOO TIRED FOR HAVIN' FUN

WELL I BEEN WORKIN' ON A STARSHIP
GOIN' WARP WARP
WORKIN' ON A STARSHIP
WHEW ABOUT TO MELT DOWN

WORKIN' ON A STARSHIP
GOIN' WARP WARP
WORKIN' IN A STARSHIP
WHEW ABOUT TO MELT DOWN

LORD I AM SO TIRED
HOW LONG CAN THIS GO ON?

I BEEN WORKIN' GOIN' WORKIN'
WHEW ABOUT TO MELT DOWN
WORKIN' GOIN' WORKIN'
WHEW ABOUT TO MELT DOWN (repeat and fade)

Worf desperately tried to ignore the engineer's intoxication.

 

[NathanielM]

DATA: <Wondering as he stares at Troi's Tits> I wonder if those are real and I would like so like to feel them to find out...

 

[NathanielM]

Worf: <Humming>

crack that whip
give the first officer the slip
step on a bridge
break the security alarm
when a Wesley crusher comes along
you must whip him
before the ensign's cream spews all over my tongue
you must whip him
when someone's all alone
you must whip him
now whip him
into shape
shape him up
get him belt
go forward
move ahead
try to slip it in
it's not too late
to whip Wesley
whip it good

when a good time turns around
you must whip him
you will never live it down
unless you whip wesley
no he won't get away
until they whip him
i say whip him
whip Wesley good
i say whip him
whip Wesley good
crack that whip

give the first officer the slip
step on a bridge
break the security alarm
when a Wesley crusher comes along
you must whip him
before the ensign's cream spews all over my tongue
you must whip him
when someone's all alone
you must whip him
now whip him
into shape
shape him up
get him belt
go forward
move ahead
try to slip it in
it's not too late
to whip Wesley
whip it good

 

[NathanielM]

(sound of metal bucket being beat off camera)

This is what happens if Star Trek the Next Generation would have been Directed by "Irwin Allen"

 

[NathanielM]

DATA realizes he wishes to fondle Counciler Troi's breasts and be fully functional in every way like he was with Tasha Yar.

 

[cooleddie74]

GRAVES:"Noonien would have liked you, my dear.

He had a thing for pale skin, plastics and resins...whether cybernetic. Or womens' chests."

 

[cooleddie74]

Geordi learned early.

Do the Dew.

Or it'll do you.

 

[NathanielM]

[

Geordi: I'll be in Engineer sir... GAAG! What the... GODDAMN WORF Did you have to leave that nasty ass fart in here?

Worf: Ah maaan he found out!