TNG Caption This #144 - "One Louder"

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: What the hell is that?! [ squints ] What the hell is that? [ chuckling at himself ] What's that danged thing doing here! How did that get here? What the hell is that?! [ squints ] What the hell is that?! How'd that dang deal get here?! Hey! Come on over here and look at this deal!

RIKER: What the hell is that?

PICARD: I don't know what the hell that is!

RIKER: What in the hell is that?!

PICARD: Hey, you kids! Get away from there!

RIKER: I would not mess with that thing..

PICARD: Don't put your lips on it!

RIKER: [ ever curious ] What the hell is this?

PICARD: Well.. get a photo of me with it, anyway!

[ PICARD hands camera to RIKER, then walks away from camera view to have his picture taken ]

RIKER: Be careful with that thing. [ snaps PICARDS picture, as spark of ingenuity develops on his face ] Oh, I know what that is!

PICARD: [ returns next to RIKER] Well, what the hell is it?!

RIKER: [ looks closer ] What is that thing..?

PICARD: I don't even care what it is. [ pause ] What the hell is that?!

RIKER: I don't know what the hell that thing is.

PICARD: Oh, I know what it is!

RIKER: [ seeing it ] Oh, yeah.. oh yeah.. [ chuckles ]

[ PICARD and RIKER walk away from the bridge A beat, before their heads peer back into frame, more inquisitive than ever. ]

PICARD: What the hell was that?!

 

[Atavachron]

I've noticed on this thread and on other caption contest threads, that lengthy excerpts from movies and/or TV shows are being used as captions with the names changed to reflect the characters shown. I find this very annoying. Not only because these people aren't using their own genius to come up with something funny, but also that the captions usually take up nearly half the page.
I know I'm not a moderator but I suppose I can still have my say.
Get creative people. And please, come up with something other than bathroom humor. This, too, shows not only a lack of vocabulary but how little sense of humor one possesses.

Not flaming here, just trying to elevate the site's quality.

Atavachron

PICARD: What the hell is that?! [ squints ] What the hell is that? [ chuckling at himself ] What's that danged thing doing here! How did that get here? What the hell is that?! [ squints ] What the hell is that?! How'd that dang deal get here?! Hey! Come on over here and look at this deal!

RIKER: What the hell is that?

PICARD: I don't know what the hell that is!

RIKER: What in the hell is that?!

PICARD: Hey, you kids! Get away from there!

RIKER: I would not mess with that thing..

PICARD: Don't put your lips on it!

RIKER: [ ever curious ] What the hell is this?

PICARD: Well.. get a photo of me with it, anyway!

[ PICARD hands camera to RIKER, then walks away from camera view to have his picture taken ]

RIKER: Be careful with that thing. [ snaps PICARDS picture, as spark of ingenuity develops on his face ] Oh, I know what that is!

PICARD: [ returns next to RIKER] Well, what the hell is it?!

RIKER: [ looks closer ] What is that thing..?

PICARD: I don't even care what it is. [ pause ] What the hell is that?!

RIKER: I don't know what the hell that thing is.

PICARD: Oh, I know what it is!

RIKER: [ seeing it ] Oh, yeah.. oh yeah.. [ chuckles ]

[ PICARD and RIKER walk away from the bridge A beat, before their heads peer back into frame, more inquisitive than ever. ]

PICARD: What the hell was that?!

 

[Plecostomus]

The TrekBBS admin team considers Atavachron's complaint and prepares to render its decision.

 

[Nerys Myk]

It just a tool. A way to get a laugh, if someone get the source. The humor of juxtaposition. Think of it as the written equivalent to photoshopping. Certain photos trigger particular dialog exchanges.

That one might have been too long. But it's one of my favorite SNL bits so I could not resist.

Sometimes I don't even change the names.

 

[Shatmandu]

Riker: "Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooo ..."
Worf: "Hellooooooooooooooo ..."
Picard: "Hellooooooooo ..."
All three, shaking hands: "Hello."

 

[Triskelion]

- Hey fifty bucks says the Crusher kid picks his nose.
- Ok ok i'll take that bet.
- Go for it kid do it do it!!......Yeah i won ok fellas pay up to the man.
- Hey another fifty says he eats it.
- Alright i'll take that bet, dont do it kid dont eat it.........
- Naaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwww man that kid will eat anything!!


(What? I wrote it)!

Well, Lieutenant Yar didn't have to just break out laughing. She could have just said no.

 

[Shatmandu]

Wesley: "I'm soooooo bored since Geordi started locking his underwear drawer ..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Picard: "Why, oh why is Q doing naked jumping jacks?"

Worf: "Request permission to clear the bridge."

Riker: "For the love of God, yes, please."

Worf: "E-9."

Wesley: "You sunk my battleship."

Worf: "Qapla! Now it's time for the pain stick."

Wesley: "Pain stick?"

Worf: "You've never experience Battleship unless you've played it in the original Klingon."

 

[cooleddie74]

PICARD:"Ahhhhhh.

Another one of those 3-D eye puzzles...eh, gentlemen?"

"Dalek to Nomad...

CHECKMATE."

 

[cooleddie74]

"I just don't get it, Will.

It's just a blank rear-projection screen with a stagehand standing behind it."

 

[Atavachron]

Picard: "You know, I've heard of this "game." It was something the children used to play back on earth many years ago. But aren't we supposed to to be staring at each other?"

Atavachron

 

[scottydog]

24th century push-ups were quite easy to perform.

 

[Rat Boy]

Picard: "Why does Kirk's bridge suddenly look cooler than ours?"

Riker: "That's it. Geordi, time to put some stuff on those two walls."

 

[Kirby]

Picard thinking: "She is a formidable adversary, but this is a serious diplomatic situation and it will take hours and hours of talking to resolve this issue and come to a mutually agreeable consensus."

Worf thinking: "She is without honor and deserves to be defeated in battle."

Riker thinking: "Yeah, I'd nail her."

Poor Welsey was so disliked by the crew he even had to play Battleship by himself.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

The smartest teen in Starfleet.... would rather play computer battleships than go down to the holodeck and get laid...

 

[S'kai]

Worf: You'll remove the last of The Star Trek Experience over our dead bodies !!!

 

[scottydog]

Wesley: "Ho hum. I'm getting tired saving ships."

 

[Shatmandu]

Wesley: "If only the gay Asian guy from engineering were off-duty ... <sighs>"

 

[CaptainJon]

Picard: Damn...now they've got the cooler bridge again...

Kirk: Damn...he's still got the more comfortable chair.

 

[cooleddie74]

PICARD:"Look at the size of that anomaly."

WORF:"IMPRESSIVE..."

RIKER:"Meh. My own johnson's bigger."

The new game of Petwer Salt Shaker Combat was a rage at first, but quickly died out.