TNG Caption This #133 - "Habitual Theft"

[cultcross]

"Sh! sh! www.sh! dot com! Knock knock. Who's there? Sh! Let me tell you a little story about a man named Sh! Sh! even before you start. That was a pre-emptive "sh!" Now, I have a whole bag of "sh!" with your name on it!"

OMG! PERFECT choice of joke! If that one doesn't win, then I'll have lost all faith in this board. J/K y'all. But seriously, that was PRICELESS!

My thanks, kind lady. However, I can't win my own contest. There are accusations, hearings, perjury claims. not pretty.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Geordi: "Yes, this is Lieutenant Commander Data, a unique Soong type android, operating at a couple of quadrillion operations a second, possessing a positronic brain and certified by Starfleet as possessing full sentience and free will. He's the Enterprise's 2nd Officer, Chief Operations officer, Science officer, a leader in the field of positronics himself, and flycatcher."

Data: "I have captured another one Geordi."

 

[Shatmandu]

Data: "For all the Klingon bluster, their testicles are actually quite small."

Picard: "Going up against the Borg, we need more cannon fodder ...

Riker: "Mister Worf, contact the Klingon High Command ..."

 

[backstept]

Worf: "But, Commander, this 'game' does not accurately simulate the hunting of ducks."

 

[Outpost4]

Riker: So our target is a black cat in a closet with the light off?

 

[Triskelion]

Metathesis is one of the most common of pronunciation errors, sir... a reversal of vowel and consonant, "bark" to "broc"... Oh, this? Just a coincidence, sir.

Riker: Man, I wish Noonien Soong had seen these guys.

 

[Rat Boy]

Grignak, the fish-looking coffee asswipe: "Blend you name, money I name, otherwise tea nooooooooooo."

Riker: "I hate drive-through."

 

[scorpius1701]

Data: I caught a bug!

 

[Triskelion]

I have transported one of Counselor Troi's pubic hairs as ordered, Captain.

See Captain?
Sexy...NOT sexy.
People like...People don't like.
Good...Not good. Not...good...at...all.

 

[Outpost4]

Data: "Heeere.."

 

[Rat Boy]

Data: "No sir. I have no knowledge of who has been painting mustaches on the crew."

 

[Honorable Ensign]

First:
Data: Unfortunately, this is the actual amount of engineering skill Geordi possesses.

Second:
Riker: See! Work walks more like a striptease queen!

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: Hey Worf, since you're up can you change the channel? I lost the remote.

 

[Triskelion]

I am fully functional. Case in point: a booger. QED.

Waiter! Sometime today please.

A little more shut the hell up, Picard.

 

[cooleddie74]

"See, Commander Riker?

Geordi does have lice. And they are spreading!"

"Quick, Mister Worf...Photoshop something horribly inappropriate onto that screen!! NOW, dammit!!!"

 

[Gertch]

 

[Shatmandu]

Spiner indicates his own chances of having a career after TNG ends.

 

[Outpost4]

^ Multiplied by Burton's remaining credibility from Roots.

EDIT: Or maybe here's that joke. I've been trying to write it ever since I saw this pic:

Burton: I was a star after Roots. Now here I am, squinting through a hair clip with a prancing Stan Laurel behind me. Motherfuck!

 

[Rat Boy]

Terrell: "Oh, too slow! Looks like you're just Number Two now!"

 

[Outpost4]

Riker: Fuck the Borg! Come on, who's going to join me? Fuck the Borg! Everyone, now give them the salute, Fuck the Borg!