Things you can’t STAND about Trek novels

[DonIago]

And I recently noticed that I tend to use "they made good time" fairly often, usually when I want to hurry along to the next location without wasting any words on the journey.

"They made good time to Gamma Epsilon V," that kinda thing.

"They proceeded to Gamma Epsilon V at a favorable Speed of Plot and arrived just before they could be bored by the journey."

 

[F. King Daniel]

Obvious padding. Once in a while, you can tell someone had a word count to hit and was doing everything in their power to reach it without extending their plot.

Pointless retconning. When Author A doesn't like something Author B or Television Writer C established so they go out of their way to bring it up just to "clarify" that when they said X, they really meant Y.

 

[donners22]

The turgid recapping of past events, often through clumsy dialogue between characters. In one of the New Frontier novels one of the characters expressed confusion at why somebody was setting out events which they already knew! I can understand the reasoning for novels which are tied to each other, but I remember one of the DTI books set out events from TOS episodes in such a dreadfully bland fashion that it read like a copy & paste from a bad Memory Alpha entry.

Another thing - gratuitously graphic descriptions of violence. That's something I don't expect in a Trek novel, and it's jarring and unpleasant to encounter it.

 

[Leto_II]

Another thing - gratuitously graphic descriptions of violence. That's something I don't expect in a Trek novel, and it's jarring and unpleasant to encounter it.

There have been graphic descriptions of violence in Trek novels going back as far as I can ever remember — back in the ‘80s as a 4th-grader who’d just checked out Vonda McIntyre’s Wrath of Khan novelization from my elementary school’s library, I was taken aback by the extreme depictions of violence she used during the story (like arterial-sprays when someone got their throat slashed, etc.). This is really nothing new to TrekLit.

 

[Sisko_is_my_captain]

My pet peeve is taking a very specific noun for something from earth, then modifying it with an alien planet. I admit it started very early in Trek history (the Kaferian apples from WNM...) but it really grates.

Instead of saying “Triachian eagle” (for which we have no mental picture, so we just imagine an eagle) how about a short description? “One of the dark blue raptors from Triacus” or something like that.

it’s not a big deal, but it’s common enough to annoy me.

That is actually a practice with a long history. Europeans coming to the Americas named many organisms after similar looking old world species that were often as not taxonomically unrelated. Thrushes and Robins, etc.

 

[EnriqueH]

There have been graphic descriptions of violence in Trek novels going back as far as I can ever remember — back in the ‘80s as a 4th-grader who’d just checked out Vonda McIntyre’s Wrath of Khan novelization from my elementary school’s library, I was taken aback by the extreme depictions of violence she used during the story (like arterial-sprays when someone got their throat slashed, etc.). This is really nothing new to TrekLit.

I could never STAND Vonda McIntyre’s writing. Probably the most grossly overrated author in Trek lore. I can remember reading TWOK and thinking it read like she was writing in a rush for a 5th grade reader. Enterprise, Entropy Effect, her Treks II-IV novels. They ALL sucked.

 

[DonIago]

I enjoyed the level of depth she put into her novelizations for TWOK and maybe especially TSFS (IIRC the events of the movie start about halfway through the novelization). I was disappointed when I saw TSFS and some of her scenes were missing.

 

[Damian]

This is a hard one to answer, at least from a Treklit perspective. Part of that is because each author has their own quirks and styles, so there's not often one thing that you can see in general.

I'll agree, excessively long names can be a bit trying. I'll be reading a paragraph nice and smoothly, then some long complicated name comes up and it stops me in my tracks for a few seconds. Not that I don't like exotic or alien sounding. Just when you pass the 3 syllable mark it kind of gets excessive. But many times they do that just once then make up a shortened name. Andorian names are common for this. So it's usually not too bad.

Something more indirect for me is I kind of wish Star Trek novels had a bit more standing when it came to canon. I know that's a bit loaded. Comic book readers might ask why not comics, online players ditto. And how much standing do you give them, when does it stymie creativity? But right now they have none, and they've always had none. And it's something that would have had to have been set up from the beginning. But it just would have been nice if there was just a bit more coordination over the years between all the tie ins and on screen canon so that there was just a bit more continuity from a larger universe perspective.

 

[Cap'n Calhoun]

People getting lost in rambling trains of thoughts, especially for the purpose of dropping in a bunch of canon connections that don't have much if anything to do with the story being told. It's not necessarily unrealistic for people's minds to wander, but it's often distracting, and it becomes unrealistic when a lot is packed into a very short time period, like during a conversation or even a battle. (Mitigated if the character missed something because they zoned out.)

Feel a little awkward using this example with Greg Cox on the thread, but it's the one that jumps immediately to mind. Sorry, Greg. From "Q-Zone":

"That situation may have changed," Faal announced with what was to Troi a palpable sense of pride. Typical,she thought. What scientist is not proud of his accomplishments? The map of the galaxy flickered, giving way to a photo of a blond-haired woman whose pale skin was delicately speckled with dark red markings that ran from her temples down to the sides of her throat. A Trill, Troi thought, recognizing the characteristic spotting of that symbiotic life-form. She felt a fleeting pang of sadness from the woman seated next to her and sympathized with Beverly, who was surely recalling her own doomed love affair with the Trill diplomat Ambassador Odan. Troi wasn't sure, but she thought she sensed a bit of discomfort from Will Riker as well. A reasonable reaction, considering that Will had once "loaned" his own body to a Trill symbiont. She was relieved to note that both Will and Beverly swiftly overcame their flashes of emotion, focusing once more on the present. They acknowledged their pasts, then moved on, the counselor diagnosed approvingly. Very healthy behavior.

Worf married a Trill, she remembered with only the slightest twinge of jealousy. Then she took her own advice and put that reaction behind her. I wish him only the best, she thought.

"Some of you may be familiar with the recent work of Dr. Lenara Kahn, the noted Trill physicist," Faal went on.​

Feels like a lot of rambling thoughts going on in the space between two sentences in a briefing based on the somewhat flimsy connection that they're looking at a picture of a Trill. It could be that these paid off more than I recall, but they felt more like padding than anything connected to the larger story.

(Greg, FWIW, I generally enjoy your writing otherwise, and I consider this a fairly common issue in tie-in fiction.)

 

[Cap'n Calhoun]

The word "somekinda" when applied to an existing technology:
"They've got somekinda shields blocking our phasers!" No, they have shields and that is what they are for. Just because you have never encountered that specific type does not qualify them for a somekinda.

I'm guilty of this in my single published story ("some sort of barbaric medical experiments"), but I also consider it a near requirement for a Voyager story.

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[Greg Cox]

Feel a little awkward using this example with Greg Cox on the thread, but it's the one that jumps immediately to mind. Sorry, Greg. From "Q-Zone":

No offense taken. If I wanted to avoid reading criticism, I wouldn't hang out on a TrekLit forum.

Beyond that, you're hardly the first person to point out that I may love my callbacks to old episode a little too much. You should see my first drafts, before my editors cut some of the more egregious examples.

My rationalization is that these people do have histories, and have had many memorable things happen to them, so it often seems to me that of course Beverly would have a reaction to meeting a Trill not long after that doomed love affair. Or that Kirk would occasionally remember being split into two people or meeting Abraham Lincoln. Those are not the kinda things people are likely to forget.

But, yes, I've been known to overdo it, although at this point it's unlikely this leopard is ever going to change his spots. That's just how I write, regardless of whether we're talking STAR TREK, BATMAN, or even THE LIBRARIANS. ("Wow, this is just like that last time we got trapped in a fairy tale!")

 

[hbquikcomjamesl]

My mind doesn't wander. It takes hundred-mile hikes.

(Truth be told, that was at least partially inspired by an old George Carlin one-liner, from his drug-humor days, "I don't experiment with drugs; I'm into full-scale research.")

 

[captainkirk]

Something that's bothered me, although as always happens I suddenly can't recall any specific examples, is when characters speak or act in a way that feels completely out of character. The one example that comes to mind is not from a novel, but the original draft of the First Contact script. Part of the climax involves Picard confronting a group of human terrorists who think the Vulcans are part of an invasion, and at the end of a fight Picard uses some sort of transporter trick to steal their guns, point them back at them, and then finish with the line, "You're full of shit." Does that sound like typical Picard?

Now granted, that's from the first draft of a movie script, not from a published novel, but I have encountered similar moments in tie-in novels, Star Trek and otherwise, and it always takes me out of the story because I'm no longer hearing the character's voice in my head.

 

[hbquikcomjamesl]

Well, that's why they're called first drafts.

But seriously, now that you mention it, I occasionally find moments of characters acting grossly out-of-character, although I can't cite any specific examples, either. Sometimes, there turns out to be an in-story reason (e.g., the character isn't who he/she appears to be, or is acting under duress, or under some sort of mind control), and sometimes there doesn't. Seems to me, though, that when a writer has a character behaving grossly out-of-character, he or she is offering the reader a contract: "stay with me on this, and it will all make sense eventually."

Then again in "the non-ST, non-SW, non-HC novel so irredeemably vile that I will not mention it here," the author makes and breaks plausibility contracts all over the place; that's but one of the reasons I refuse to name it. I will say, however, that its having made it into brick-and-mortar bookstores is proof that a truly self-published (as opposed to subsidy-published by a vanity house) novel actually can make it into the bookstores.

 

[Leto_II]

^ Yeah, that was from an early draft by Moore and Braga, which featured a post-WWIII militia-leader villain character (written with Christopher Walken in mind), and Picard uses the transporter to steal their firearms (as you note) right after their leader says to him, "You're full of shit" ("...No, YOU'RE full of shit"), etc. etc.

Also, the Picard and Riker-roles were reversed in this draft, with Riker leading the assault against the Borg aboard the Enterprise-E, and with Picard overseeing the launch of Zefram Cochrane's ship Earthside.

 

[captainkirk]

Well, that's why they're called first drafts.

As I said, it was the only example that came to mind. Even though it was Moore and Braga writing it, Picard's dialog didn't feel like anything he would say. And similar moments crop up in tie-in novels. I wonder if part of it is that the actor will never say the lines and so they don't get to offer their input and adjust it to better suit their character.

 

[Greg Cox]

My mind doesn't wander. It takes hundred-mile hikes.

(Truth be told, that was at least partially inspired by an old George Carlin one-liner, from his drug-humor days, "I don't experiment with drugs; I'm into full-scale research.")

I like the version in ARSENIC AND OLD LACE: "Insanity does not run in my family; it fairly gallops."

 

[Cap'n Calhoun]

I guess another one is adding super-rebellious, "modern" types to the crew who you'd never, ever see on a TNG-era show (or *maybe* as a one-off at most). A few characters from the TNG relaunch struck me this way, though I don't remember who offhand. Usually feels really out of place to me.

Though I took my username from New Frontier, so who am I to talk?

 

[David Weller]

Though I took my username from New Frontier, so who am I to talk?

That’s what I’ve never understood about this site.. Why have a username? Why not use your real name?

 

[JD]

One thing that bugs me is when a new character or alien is not described when they are first introduced. I like to get as clear a mental picture as possible, but that is really hard when you don't get a clear description of what someone new looks like. I don't need a detailed info dump description, just something to give a clear picture.