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Things that frustrate us all

Required Windows 10 updates that suddenly let you know they are starting in 15 minutes with no way to reschedule, and so you end up sitting there staring at the blue screen when you were trying to get stuff done, and these updates have no tangible effect whatsoever except to cumulatively make you computer more sluggish and glitchy. :brickwall:

Kor
 
OK in the update section of windows 10 ---- this is what I do.. stop it from updating for like 3 weeks no auto update you can set the amount of time or just click the convenient pause updating for a week.. so yeah then If I am bored and remember to I will update them say a week later or so and such to check to see. then go back to pause update it is what is best for me you know.. :)

this is what frustrates me now I eat ,,, below the keyboard to the left of the mouse ,,, such that my place setting is very "random" yet there is a faction of thought that "needs" to do the place settings exactly as such... and it is frustrating that idea.-- such

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^you can rescue the wine by straining it through a sieve asap and store it in an empty mineral water bottle.
Sorry my life has hijacked this thread. .
No prob at all. That's what this thread is there for, after all. Everyone is frustrated and atm you are more frustrated than we are. I suppose you mentioned your doubts about your working performance to your therapist? If not, you should do so. I doubt that objectively you work worse than beforeIt might just be the depression that gives you those doubts.
As for passing the time: did your therapist give you some homework to do?
 
^you can rescue the wine by straining it through a sieve asap and store it in an empty mineral water bottle.

No prob at all. That's what this thread is there for, after all. Everyone is frustrated and atm you are more frustrated than we are. I suppose you mentioned your doubts about your working performance to your therapist? If not, you should do so. I doubt that objectively you work worse than beforeIt might just be the depression that gives you those doubts.
As for passing the time: did your therapist give you some homework to do?
I have talked to the therapist, it was an intake appointment that came up because someone else cancelled, so we had a lot to cram into an hour. I did mention my doubts about my performance.

The therapist said that first impressions suggest I am suffering from at least moderate depression. He recommended that my PCP perform some thyroid blood tests (I know nothing about what that means, but I just called my doc to request the test. Hope insurance will cover it.) I assume that's precautionary.

He also wanted me to wait until my boss has reached out to me, AND until we had the results of the test, before scheduling my next appointment.

While I was waiting, he wanted me to try and improve my sleep by 1) taking Melatonin each night before bed 2) Staying in bed even if I was awake (this is different from my previous therapist of years back who thought I should get up and move around.) This was partially successful. I slept through the night Friday - mainly due to exhaustion of caregiving - but the other nights I still only got about 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep before I have to get up to pee, and then I find it hard to get back to sleep because my mind starts running in circles, mostly running through hypothetical conversations with boss or therapist "I should have said this" "I should say that" etc., and it's really hard to break that.

I was also supposed to try to do things. However... I stayed home Friday because wife was still very sick with the migraine, and asked me to. We had planned to go to Steel City Con, but that failed. She was still too sick, and I just... couldn't summon the will to go, especially without her. So I missed out on about 8 autographs I had originally intended to get. On the upside, I did push myself to do like 8 loads of laundry that had been lying around.
 
Okay, so there is a portable potty at a local public place that's very busy and thus is used constantly.

So, the company hired to change the water and put toilet paper out, put out five rolls (finally, a day where they put out enough!) and some jackass fucking piece of shit who quite frankly need to be ran over by a semi truck with eighteen wheels to ensure the job is finished, threw all five rolls into the tank. Now there is no toilet paper. And the company that cleans it, comes out typically every eight to ten days, so over a week with no toilet paper.
 
Okay, so there is a portable potty at a local public place that's very busy and thus is used constantly.

So, the company hired to change the water and put toilet paper out, put out five rolls (finally, a day where they put out enough!) and some jackass fucking piece of shit who quite frankly need to be ran over by a semi truck with eighteen wheels to ensure the job is finished, threw all five rolls into the tank. Now there is no toilet paper. And the company that cleans it, comes out typically every eight to ten days, so over a week with no toilet paper.
I've cleaned up enough public restrooms to be able to accept the argument that your chosen method of execution is still too merciful for people like that.
 
wait for the package to arrive ... the can't just leave it at the door they have to "take it back" with them and say contact us if you want your package OMG NO phone or email to contact at but Yeah I have to contact them for my package. Amazon never does this .. IDK . so we have a drop off package hub outside the door.. they can't use that .. IDK what gives Amazon.. I guess I call amazon and ask them what the .. about the package just not delivered OMG.. damn It was so close. IDK. I will yell at them mmmm probably not but they are arse 's of the worst kind . you know.
 
He recommended that my PCP perform some thyroid blood tests (I know nothing about what that means, but I just called my doc to request the test.
That's routine in case of depression because depressions surprisingly often have physical causes. The most common is a problem with the Thyroid gland. I was treated against depression for almost 3 years until I discovered that I had diabetes, the second of the more common physical causes. There are many more which reach from brain tumor (rare) to a failure in the adrenal glands on your kidneys (#3 in the ranking).
Tell your GP about your depressions and urge him to also perform an glucose tolerance test. You having to get up and pee in the night is a quite typical symptom of untreated diabetes. Your kidneys filter the superfluous sugar out. Insist in the glucose tolerance test since the routine blood test for diabetes (hemoglobin A1c-level test) often shows normal figures even if you already have an early stage of diabetes. That was so in my case, hence my GP overlooked it for years. The glucose tolerance test is fairly simple and cheap: you must not eat or drink anything that day, go to the doc and get your blood sugar levels tested. Then you drink a glass of sugar solution and after 1 hour and 2 hours your blood sugar gets tested again. If after 2 hours at the very latest it's not back to normal, you are diabetic.
The lack of sugar in the nerves causes damage which manifests itself as depression. Treatment is very easy: you get pills.
 
That's routine in case of depression because depressions surprisingly often have physical causes. The most common is a problem with the Thyroid gland. I was treated against depression for almost 3 years until I discovered that I had diabetes, the second of the more common physical causes. There are many more which reach from brain tumor (rare) to a failure in the adrenal glands on your kidneys (#3 in the ranking).
Tell your GP about your depressions and urge him to also perform an glucose tolerance test. You having to get up and pee in the night is a quite typical symptom of untreated diabetes. Your kidneys filter the superfluous sugar out. Insist in the glucose tolerance test since the routine blood test for diabetes (hemoglobin A1c-level test) often shows normal figures even if you already have an early stage of diabetes. That was so in my case, hence my GP overlooked it for years. The glucose tolerance test is fairly simple and cheap: you must not eat or drink anything that day, go to the doc and get your blood sugar levels tested. Then you drink a glass of sugar solution and after 1 hour and 2 hours your blood sugar gets tested again. If after 2 hours at the very latest it's not back to normal, you are diabetic.
The lack of sugar in the nerves causes damage which manifests itself as depression. Treatment is very easy: you get pills.
Huh. I did not know that. But... I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes like 10 years ago. It’s pretty controlled with medication already. I’ve spoken about it elsewhere here.

In other news, my "grace week" is half gone. I had to leave work early Thursday and stay home Friday (due to aforementioned wife's illness/hospital visit). My boss was not in the office Monday and doesn't seem to be in today, either. It's near the end of the semester, and he's never shared his schedule with me, so for all I know, he's gone home for the Winter Break already.

It's the biggest thing that's still puzzling me - why he simply stopped interacting with me at all. Why he took the extraordinary step of going to HR before saying anything to my face when he has had ample opportunity to do so. He never seemed averse to talking to his GA, or anyone else in the office or outside of it. I mean okay, I get it, I'm a quiet, non-conversation-starter, 90% of the time, but still, there's evidence that he is not that.
 
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Viewn from outside the problem seems to lie with him, not with you. Maybe he misunderstood something you said or he misinterpreted somethuing someone else said about you. Also, it's theoretically possible that someone deliberately slandered you and he's stupid enough to believe it. We had a staff manager once who did that: he'd lie to you that someone had said something negative and then you'd naturally say "what! That person has faults herself" and tell him about those and he'd use that info to blackmail staff. When we found out his tactics we very quickly put an end to it. Maybe someone is after your job and tries to get it this way?
 
Still not in. I’m thinking he went home, maybe for the winter. If he doesn’t show by tomorrow I’m going to go back up to HR and say “I can’t follow through on a meeting, because he’s not here. I don’t know when he will be back. What do I do now?”

I have about 16 days’ worth of accumulated vacation time. Using five days of it around the holidays would give me more than two weeks off, which is nice, but I was thinking about taking more, just as a mental health vacation (Spring semester classes don’t start until Jan 21.). It would have been helpful to have this discussed, if not resolved, before then.

I could write him an email, but... I believe in cases like these, talks should be face-to-face, don’t you think?

ETA: About 2PM, out of nowhere, given that nothing has changed since this morning, I started to feel like absolute shit. Like, "everything is hopeless, my mind is turning to slurry, I can't remember things I need to remember, I'm useless and stupid and totally incapable of getting anything right" kind of shit tromping around my head. I am nauseous and tired and the 20 minutes before I leave seems like an ETERNITY and then I have an hour drive and errands to run, and I'm not supposed to go to bed early and why can't the week be over already? I need to stop thinking. I need to break this cycle of garbage hatethought circling around in my head. Just fucking STOP IT already.

Okay. Do nothing. Go home, Get safe. Maybe read comic books in bed.

EATA: 6:10 PM. Home, safe, fed, calming down apparently. That sucked in every way possible except the good way.
 
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Forgetting what frustrated me a few minutes ago because I was reading the thread. ..
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Remembering the thing that is annoying.. coming back to edit
Having to change my password on FB because I deleted all the data on my phone that includes the password .. because the memory was quite low. And since I never use the password anymore or remember where it is stored this means all instances of FB have to have the password updated.. with yet a new sequence of digital information.
 
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So my boss returned Thursday (he’d been at a conference). By the end of the day, he’d still not come to me, so with only a few minutes left, I approached him about having a conversation about our problem. (Incidentally, my pulse rate just after speaking to him? Just a couple sentences to schedule this meeting? 130. That’s how hard this kind of thing is for me)

We’re supposed to chat Monday morning, so now I have all weekend to rehearse/panic.

Since we’re NOT at the disciplinary stage, I’m thinking that for now I should gloss over the depression issues until I have a more complete diagnosis.

right now my instinct is to open with something like “I know you think I’ve been a bit shit this semester. I’m not really prepared to argue that right now, so instead of that, let’s talk about what we can do to make things better for our remaining time together.” Not going to try to place blame for the communications breakdown, just to move past it.

I’m going to propose that we meet weekly or more often to make sure I stay abreast of what’s going on, discuss goals for the week/day/etc., and we maybe actually get to know each other.
 
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