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TheGodBen Revisits Star Trek

The Changeling (***)

The Enterprise encounters the ancient Earth probe Nomad, which is now a super-powerful death machine on the quest for revenge, or something. It has destroyed entire civilisations, and it would have destroyed Earth too if not for a chance encounter with a man who has a similar surname to its creator. For Nomad is not Nomad any more, it’s a Frankenstein probe, a combination of the peaceful exploratory Earth probe, and a probe built by an unknown alien civilisation who felt that their soil sampling device needed super torpedoes that could travel at ultra-warp speeds. So Kirk decides to beam Nomad on the Enterprise so that hijinks can ensue.

The first of those hijinks is the murder of Scotty. He gets zapped dead by a powerful energy beam, just like Welshy, and Northern Irishy before him. But he gets brought back to life, so no harm done. Uhura’s not so lucky, she loses all her memories and has to endure an entire week of schooling to become a functioning adult again. Still, she was luckier than the redshirts who got vaporised, or that entire civilisation of billions of people who were destroyed by Nomad. But the important thing is that Kirk, Spock, and McCoy are unharmed by events, which is why they’re able to make jokes at the end.

The episode has some interesting ideas, the concept of an old Earth probe becoming a powerful threat following an alien encounter is a good one, although not so much that it needed to be redone later. And Nomad is surprisingly believable as a character considering it’s a floating box with blinking lights. That being said, there’s a lot of silliness in this episode that it could do without. But at least it didn’t take over two fucking hours to tell the story, that’s kind of a plus.
 
Ah, the trusty Kirk Talks A Computer To Death. I think he actually might do that more often than get laid.

7/10 It is definitely a better version of Star Trek: The Motionless Picture.
 
I'd give "The Doomsday Machine" a 9/10. Decker's over-acting is just a bit much for me, especially the scene where he flies into the machine. What the hell was the man doing? Purposefully trying to out-do Shatner?

I don't know. It sort of simply seems like a slight variation on a practice that we see frequently today, when an unbalanced individual approaches a law enforcement officer. Except in Decker's case, we would simply change the name a bit to Suicide by Log.
 
The Doomsday Machine is pretty entertaining, though I think Kirk vs. Machine could have been one for GodBen's to count as well. At least he didn't try to sleep with Nomad.
 
I don't know. It sort of simply seems like a slight variation on a practice that we see frequently today, when an unbalanced individual approaches a law enforcement officer. Except in Decker's case, we would simply change the name a bit to Suicide by Log.
I was talking about his facial expressions. Like this....
doomsdaymachine_467.jpg

Damn, ham it up a little more there, pal. :)
 
I was talking about his facial expressions. Like this....
doomsdaymachine_467.jpg

Damn, ham it up a little more there, pal. :)




Well, I guess I'm willing to give him a pass, as it's one thing to feel reconciled that you have to make such a decision, but quite another to be looking at the belly of the beast, as it were, directly in the face. Besides, moments before annihilation, we can't know what actual physical stresses or impacts, the log might be exerting on organic matter, even granting the shuttle itself doesn't appear to be breaking up.

Still, I appreciate your perspective. Point taken.
 
On the other hand, no Jerry Goldsmith score. Let's call it a wash.
True, but you also have to factor in those uniforms. I don't know, there are some crimes I just can't forgive.


The Apple (*)

Some drunken admiral has ordered the Enterprise to make contact with a tribe of people so primitive that they haven’t even invented sex yet. Maybe I’m just lazy, but doesn’t it seem strange that the away team beamed down 17km away from the tribe they were investigating? Surely 3-5km would have sufficed. And what’s with the mixed measurement systems at play here? They measure long distances in kilometres, short distances in yards, and temperature in Fahrenheit. What, is Britain in charge of Starfleet now? Either use the metric system or don’t, quit with this half and half crap.

The best thing about this episode is the variety of redshirt deaths. Redshirts normally die in boring ways, such as being vaporised by a phaser. But in this episode one redshirt is killed by a spitting plant, one is vaporised by lightning, another steps on an explosive rock, and a fourth is clubbed to death. If you’re going to have redshirt deaths, this is the way to do it.

Anyway, Kirk makes contact with a tribesman and immediately punches him in the face, causing him to cry. Great diplomacy there, Jim. We learn that the people of this planet have funny hair and orange skin, just like a ridiculous American presidential candidate who I wont name so as to remain politically impartial. These people worship the great god Vaal, who is a giant rock serpent thing, but which is really a computer. A vegetarian computer. In exchange for the occasional serving of fruit, Vaal protects the tribespeople, making them happy and immortal.

LANDON: But when a man and woman fall in love...
AKUTA: Love. Strange words. Children. Love. What is love?​

Our greatest philosophers have been contemplating that question for millennia, and this is the best answer we have so far.

Sadly, the away team don’t have an airhorn with them to help explain what love is, so Chekov decides to demonstrate with some good old fashioned sexual harassment on Yeoman Landon, and later he meets her in the bushes for some dogging. The tribespeople who watch find this display of love fascinating and try to emulate it, which angers Vaal and causes it to decree that the away team must die. After a brawl, Kirk decides that it is Vaal who must die, so he has the Enterprise phaser it in the face. The tribespeople are “freed” from their nightmarish paradise and are encouraged to copulate like the rest of us. But nobody actually explains to them what that actually involves, so there are probably quite a few misunderstandings and nasty surprises in their future.

This is the third or fourth time that Star Trek has told the same damn story. We get the message already, people are not supposed to live in paradise while obeying the laws of false gods. People are supposed to live in spaceships, so that they can travel to new worlds and tell primitive peoples how to live their lives and how to structure their societies, sort of like what gods do. Wait, that can’t be right...

The God Things: 8
 
While it has a couple of nice scenes with Dr Mbenga, I've always found this episode rather forgettable as well. I agree; this story is hardly the most original of TOS
 
True, but you also have to factor in those uniforms. I don't know, there are some crimes I just can't forgive.


The Apple (*)

Some drunken admiral has ordered the Enterprise to make contact with a tribe of people so primitive that they haven’t even invented sex yet. Maybe I’m just lazy, but doesn’t it seem strange that the away team beamed down 17km away from the tribe they were investigating? Surely 3-5km would have sufficed. And what’s with the mixed measurement systems at play here? They measure long distances in kilometres, short distances in yards, and temperature in Fahrenheit. What, is Britain in charge of Starfleet now? Either use the metric system or don’t, quit with this half and half crap.

If it was Britain it would be long distances in miles, short distances in metres and temperature in Celsius. ;)
 
I absolutely come away from The Apple feeling that the Enterprise left those people in worse shape than they found them. Now they can enjoy the very hard work of farming when food used to require no work. Now they can enjoy harsh weather when Vaal used to keep the weather mild for them. Now they will know death. I get that Kirk had to defend the Enterprise from Vaal, but his happy little speech at the end about how their lives will be better from now on is...questionable.
 
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think this is the first time we properly get to see another Federation starship, and even though it looks almost exactly like the Enterprise (except damaged) it’s still a novelty at this point in the series.

You are correct. This was the first visual evidence that Starfleet was indeed a fleet in being.

The message clearly being that humanity needs to build more powerful nuclear weapons, and to hell with the nuclear non-proliferation treaty!

But of course.
 
We learn that the people of this planet have funny hair and orange skin, just like a ridiculous American presidential candidate who I wont name so as to remain politically impartial.

You mean this guy?
1-bernie-sanders-with-trump-hair.jpg


I absolutely come away from The Apple feeling that the Enterprise left those people in worse shape than they found them. Now they can enjoy the very hard work of farming when food used to require no work. Now they can enjoy harsh weather when Vaal used to keep the weather mild for them. Now they will know death. I get that Kirk had to defend the Enterprise from Vaal, but his happy little speech at the end about how their lives will be better from now on is...questionable.

Exactly how I feel about "The Apple". I'm usually not one to agree with the Prime Directive, or it's often horrible implementation, but this is a rock-solid example of it needing to be enforced. Kirk absolutely left these people worse off than they were before. Oh, Kirk and McCoy don't like cultures like this? Well, fuck it then, contaminate it to your hearts content, fellas! Who cares if they're healthy, happy and not harming themselves or others? After all, you don't approve! And, let's not forget, Spock kind of looks like Satan, so all his reasonable arguments to the contrary can just be dismissed out of hand. *facepalm*

Add in some really silliness about a fruit and vegetable eating computer shaped like a dragon's head (seriously, huh, WTF?!) and it's easily my least favorite episode of Season Two. 1/10
 
While it has a couple of nice scenes with Dr Mbenga, I've always found this episode rather forgettable as well. I agree; this story is hardly the most original of TOS
M'Benga? In "The Apple"? Methinks you are think of Spock being shot in "A Private Little War", not Spock getting a chestful of thorns.


As to the fruit eating Vaal, if you look closely (and you really have to look) it's being fed the exploding rocks, not fruit.
 
M'Benga? In "The Apple"? Methinks you are think of Spock being shot in "A Private Little War", not Spock getting a chestful of thorns.

One tribe with blond wigs always reminds me of the other tribe with blond wigs.
 
We get the message already, people are not supposed to live in paradise while obeying the laws of false gods. People are supposed to live in spaceships, so that they can travel to new worlds and tell primitive peoples how to live their lives and how to structure their societies, sort of like what gods do.
:lol:
 
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