The Tragedy of Spock Prime
The main problem here is with Nero's motivation, or lack thereof (and reading other reviews, I think that many would agree). Simply put: the plot necessitated that Nero be obsessed with revenging himself upon Spock... and yet Spock did nothing whatsoever to instigate that obsession.
I haven't read your entire post, but this I do have to point out:
Nero had
every reason to want revenge on Spock, broken a man as he was.
Think about it: Spock warns the Romulan Council the Hobus star is exploding. They don't believe him. Nero does. Nero probably wanted to save his family (this is conjecture), but, Spock promised him he would prevent the catastrophe.
So, no, Spock didn't make a mistake. Neither is he infallible. However, Spock did
promise Nero that his family would be save. He
promised. And right after Nero believes Spock, he sees Romulus destroyed because Spock failed to get there in time.
Together with the destruction of his home planet, I can think of no greater 'betrayal' from Nero's point of view. He trusted Spock with the safety of his family, and now he's lost everything he ever cared about.