The stigma of being a virgin loner (must end)

[IndyJones]

Whenever the media shames celibates, or single people (nerds without girlfriends, etc.).

You totally missed that guy's criticism of Ilia's line: He wasn't criticizing her celibacy, but the seeming inappropriateness of her bringing it up at that moment.

If that's the type of thing that's bothering you it makes me think that the problem is in how you're reacting to the world and not how the world's reacting to you.

 

[Thestral]

I'd just like to state, for the record, I love the Nostalgia Critic. Let the stigmatizing commence.

 

[iguana_tonante]

This is a commercial for Hardees' SouthWest Patty Melt, here in the U.S.:

Sexual innuendo and imagery in advertising are par for the course here in Italy too. But I mostly wanted to add that the burger looks awful. Gah.

 

[Roshi]

^ Yeah, if that's all it is then definitely, the OP needs to chill. But...

Besides, actually, it's not people I talk to. It's something I see in some media.

Let me give you an example (8:54 of this video)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JV15UAHTzxE

Wait.

Wait wait wait.

I am confused.

So it's NOT people you actually know who are teasing you about this, but one (bad) actor, doing a review about TMP and Ilia's (hamfisted and awkwardly written) introductory scene that bugs you so much?

Um, IIRC, Ilia's oath of celibacy is due to the overtly sexual nature of Deltans. They have sex each and every motherfucking time, thus preventing starship from functioning properly. Hence Chekov's face when Ilia enters the Bridge...

 

[BillJ]

But I mostly wanted to add that the burger looks awful. Gah.

That's why Kate Upton is there. The burger may be horrible but they hope you get a boner when you're standing at the counter ordering.

 

[CaptainPipcard]

I'd just like to state, for the record, I love the Nostalgia Critic. Let the stigmatizing commence.

Actually, I like the NC and watch it occasionally.

Also, I made this thread because of the Star Trek stigmatised thread:

I know in Ireland and Britain if you say you are a fan of StarTrek there is some sort of stigma.

This notion of trekkies/ trekkers being some spotty teenager, virgin, nerd or all three or whatever is the common portrayal.

I do fit the stereotype but I don't see anything wrong with it.

 

[Scout101]

I am celibate for my own reasons, and you can have sex for your own reasons. This is "respectful disagreement".

How much of it is age-related? As in, how old are you? Saw you mention in a STO thread that you "weren't old enough to pay with your own money" and couldn't convince your parents to pay for you.

If you aren't old enough to even pay for an online game, sex shouldn't be THAT big a deal if you aren't getting any yet. By choice or otherwise.

And best way to lose the stigma of being a virgin loser (other than having sex) is to not bring it to everyone's attention...

 

[doubleohfive]

I am celibate for my own reasons, and you can have sex for your own reasons. This is "respectful disagreement".

How much of it is age-related? As in, how old are you? Saw you mention in a STO thread that you "weren't old enough to pay with your own money" and couldn't convince your parents to pay for you.

If you aren't old enough to even pay for an online game, sex shouldn't be THAT big a deal if you aren't getting any yet. By choice or otherwise.

I have to admit, the way this thread has been going, I'd be curious to know the OP's age as well.

And best way to lose the stigma of being a virgin loser (other than having sex) is to not bring it to everyone's attention...

Completely, totally agreed.

 

[CaptainPipcard]

16. But I plan on being celibate for the rest of my life.

 

[Amaris]

16. But I plan on being celibate for the rest of my life.

Is that something you feel you need to do, or something you want to do? No judgment, just curious.

 

[CaptainPipcard]

I'm just not into sex.

 

[Amaris]

I'm just not into sex.

There's just no desire, or is it just off putting? Not meaning to pry, but I rarely meet someone who is asexual, who is also willing to talk about it.


[ Also, I am meaning to pry ]

 

[CaptainPipcard]

Off-putting.

People are allowed to disagree with that.

 

[doubleohfive]

Teenagers. Give them an inch, and they swim all over you.

1) Stop telling your peers that you are choosing to be celibate for life if you can't steel yourself against the negative teasing along with the accolades. You can't have one without the other, and teenagers are notorious for being jerks.

2) I applaud your choice and your steadfastness toward keeping it. All I'd say in conclusion would be that as you get older, you might find that this opinion/choice may change, and if it does, that you allow yourself the chance to explore that, without feeling bad about it. People change their minds about things as they get older, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

 

[IndyJones]

16. But I plan on being celibate for the rest of my life.

I was celibate at 16 too. Now I'm just a fag.

 

[trekkiedane]

^Just you wait till you get my age and become a dirty old man

 

[RoJoHen]

16, oh my. I'm not even remotely the same person I was when I was 16. So much can change in the next 5-10 years.

 

[T'Bonz]

Well, if people didn't overshare about their personal lives, others wouldn't know they were celibate or a "virgin loner."

But more often that I care to read (especially on this BBS, but sometimes on other places), the person, usually male, whines and complains that he can't get a girl and he can't figure out why.

Sadly enough, the reasons are usually obvious, but the person is not only oblivious, but in utter denial and any attempts to show him possible problem areas are meant with hostility. He doesn't want to change or fix what might be wrong.

There are actually those who prefer to be celibate, and this is not about them. It's about the whiny drama queens who lament their lack of nookie or girlfriends ad nauseum.

Figure out what's wrong and fix it, or shaddup. No one wants to hear about relationship woes other than your mother or your best friend. Everyone else is like, "Oh God, not AGAIN!"

 

[RandyS]

16, oh my. I'm not even remotely the same person I was when I was 16. So much can change in the next 5-10 years.

I don't know about that. At 42 I'm still the same man I was when I was 16. Oh sure, my sensibilities have matured, but my core values are the same now as they were in 1986.

Of course, everybody's different.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

16. But I plan on being celibate for the rest of my life.

You should also set up a strong IRA, compose a living will, make sure your life insurance policy is up to date, and other 16-year-old type stuff. Or you can, like, learn to drive and not make dramatic life altering decisions before all your teeth have even come in.

If you want to choose to be celibate that's fine. But right now you're a mobile mass of hormones, peer pressure, and confusion being driven by the mockery and bragging of your fellow teens and the mixed signals of a sex-obsessed yet at the same time puritanical country. You don't have to make all of these decisions for your entire life right this minute.

Wait a few years until you hit college or the job market and your attitude might change. Or it might not. But at least you'll have kept your options open instead of trying to live by some pronouncement you made when you were 16 and going though a ton of confusing things.