The stigma of being a virgin loner (must end)

[Amaris]

Well, then you need to grow a thicker skin.

I'm not saying its right that other people have this attitude, but if you let every last comment get to you, you're just going to make yourself miserable.

Agreed. No one should be ashamed for being celibate. Of course, if it really worked like that, no one would have to be ashamed to be gay, or asexual. Culture in the U.S. is so inundated with sex, that if you're not having sex every waking minute you're some kind of loser. For men, it's being "a pussy", and for a woman it's being a spinster, or a man hating feminist. People are going to assume these things because they don't know any better, or they're insecure about their own sex lives. As you've said, it's best that one should let it slide and grow a thicker skin than take it to heart. Society will eventually catch up.

CaptainPipcard, constructive criticism is one thing, but never tolerate being denigrated just for being yourself. You have value, you're worth respect.

 

[tighr]

I'll just drop this right here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o&ob

Or not, since embed blows ass.

 

[CaptainPipcard]

I'll just drop this right here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o&ob

Or not, since embed blows ass.

Nope, I'm not offended at all. (not sarcasm)

 

[tighr]

It was a statement of fact.

 

[doubleohfive]

Culture in the U.S. is so inundated with sex, that if you're not having sex every waking minute you're some kind of loser. For men, it's being "a pussy", and for a woman it's being a spinster, or a man hating feminist. People are going to assume these things because they don't know any better, or they're insecure about their own sex lives.

Whoa, whoa whoa.... exaggeration police, pull over please.

That entire section of your post says one thing: There is an insecurity about not having constant sex. I do not agree with the broad generalizations you've listed there at all. Sex is sex. It's fun and feels great but how much or little of it we have by no means defines who are as people.

Do some people subscribe to your exaggerations? Sure. But not me, and certainly not everyone.

 

[scotpens]

I'll just drop this right here:

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o&ob[/yt]

Or not, since embed blows ass.

That song blows ass.

To embed a YouTube video, just type the video’s URL bracketed by
[ yt ] and [ /yt ] tags (minus the spaces). YouTube’s embed HTML doesn’t work here.

 

[tighr]

To embed a YouTube video, just type the video’s URL bracketed by
[ yt ] and [ /yt ] tags (minus the spaces). YouTube’s embed HTML doesn’t work here.

Yeah, I did exactly that. TrekBBS farted at me, though.

 

[scotpens]

Yeah, I did exactly that. TrekBBS farted at me, though.

Maybe it just farted in your general direction.

 

[CorporalClegg]

I think the video just stunk so bad the smell was oozing out of your monitor.

 

[Amaris]

Culture in the U.S. is so inundated with sex, that if you're not having sex every waking minute you're some kind of loser. For men, it's being "a pussy", and for a woman it's being a spinster, or a man hating feminist. People are going to assume these things because they don't know any better, or they're insecure about their own sex lives.

Whoa, whoa whoa.... exaggeration police, pull over please.

That entire section of your post says one thing: There is an insecurity about not having constant sex. I do not agree with the broad generalizations you've listed there at all. Sex is sex. It's fun and feels great but how much or little of it we have by no means defines who are as people.

Do some people subscribe to your exaggerations? Sure. But not me, and certainly not everyone.

I did not say everyone thinks this way, what I am saying is that in our culture, it is presented this way, and a quick glance at the television, magazines or newspapers will confirm this.

 

[horatio83]

Given the power of the religious right in the US and their aggressive promotion of abstinence I gotta disagree with you. Of course pop culture is obsessed with sex but this does not happen in an empty space, it is rather a dialectical thing like puritan prudery and pornography. One extreme couldn't exist without the other.

 

[Amaris]

Given the power of the religious right in the US and their aggressive promotion of abstinence I gotta disagree with you. Of course pop culture is obsessed with sex but this does not happen in an empty space, it is rather a dialectical thing like puritan prudery and pornography. One extreme couldn't exist without the other.

We're more of a "do as we say, not as we do" culture. We'll talk about morals, and high ideals, but at the same time we'll indulge in whatever makes us happy and comfortable. I'm not saying the indulgence is wrong, just that there is a disconnect between what we say (or as our self appointed moral leaders say) and what we do.

 

[Kestra]

Eh, maybe I'm just in a totally weird pocket of society but people I hang out with aren't all sex sex sex either. I have multiple friends that waited until marriage to lose their virginity. I feel like sexual images and suggestion can dominate things like television and film, but actual sex is far less common.

Or maybe just actual good sex.

 

[Amaris]

Eh, maybe I'm just in a totally weird pocket of society but people I hang out with aren't all sex sex sex either. I have multiple friends that waited until marriage to lose their virginity. I feel like sexual images and suggestion can dominate things like television and film, but actual sex is far less common.

Or maybe just actual good sex.

Oh come now, everybody has sex after meeting in a coffee shop.

Seriously, though, yeah, the portrayals on television and in other media are usually very unrealistic, but it keeps getting pushed because it sells, and always has. Ever since Ug sold his wheel to Gor because his bondmate Brom showed him her butt tatts, sex has been used as a means to an end in popular culture, even when it was publicly frowned upon by the hoi polloi.

 

[horatio83]

Over here we use the phrase "oversexed and underfucked" (yeah, I know that it is horrible English), i.e. the sex-ed up nature of popular culture which has little to do with real sex is a bit like being a teenager and having a permissive father who asks you "what up kid, have you already gotten laid?" which is probably the safest way into impotence (I doubt that such fathers exist, I merely want to use it as contrast to a 50s father who told his son to not mess around with girls and thus basically incentiviced him to do it as breaking the taboo creates some extra pleasure).

 

[Amaris]

Over here we use the phrase "oversexed and underfucked" (yeah, I know that it is horrible English), i.e. the sex-ed up nature of popular culture which has little to do with real sex is a bit like being a teenager and having a permissive father who asks you "what up kid, have you already gotten laid?" which is probably the safest way into impotence (I doubt that such fathers exist, I merely want to use it as contrast to a 50s father who told his son to not mess around with girls and thus basically incentiviced him to do it as breaking the taboo creates some extra pleasure).

I think "oversexed" is as good a way as any to put it. This might sound odd coming from someone like me, but I think there's just too much of it flooding everything. My earlier comment about even hamburgers being sold with sex appeal is a part of that. This is a commercial for Hardees' SouthWest Patty Melt, here in the U.S.:

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdGsKzmCgB0[/yt]

Keep in mind this whole time, that it's to sell a hamburger.

 

[Kelthaz]

Damn, the closest Carl's Jr. is in British Columbia and I'm in Ontario. That's 4,000km away.

I'll be back in a couple of days.

 

[horatio83]

Over here we use the phrase "oversexed and underfucked" (yeah, I know that it is horrible English), i.e. the sex-ed up nature of popular culture which has little to do with real sex is a bit like being a teenager and having a permissive father who asks you "what up kid, have you already gotten laid?" which is probably the safest way into impotence (I doubt that such fathers exist, I merely want to use it as contrast to a 50s father who told his son to not mess around with girls and thus basically incentiviced him to do it as breaking the taboo creates some extra pleasure).

I think "oversexed" is as good a way as any to put it. This might sound odd coming from someone like me, but I think there's just too much of it flooding everything. My earlier comment about even hamburgers being sold with sex appeal is a part of that. This is a commercial for Hardees' SouthWest Patty Melt, here in the U.S.:

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdGsKzmCgB0[/yt]

Keep in mind this whole time, that it's to sell a hamburger.

I totally agree.
Isn't it strange that even commercials are so sex-ed up, that pornography is making billions but that only very few people dare to make movies about love and sex? To my knowledge only a few artsy-fartsy European directors went into this direction without their stuff having become popular.

To get back to your example, the noticeable thing is how unreal and artificial the ad is. So we have again this pattern of not wanting to depict real sex respectively here something which is really sensual but a distorted, artificial version of it. It is intentionally designed to make it hard for people to identify with it.

So yeah, it is kind of interesting that virtually all sex in our media and popular culture is, despite seeming so permissive on the surface, quite conservative and not designed to make people identify with it.

 

[BillJ]

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdGsKzmCgB0[/yt]

Keep in mind this whole time, that it's to sell a hamburger.

Just a girl enjoying a patty melt. What's the big deal?

 

[scotpens]

“I've been taught ever since I was a kid that sex is filthy and forbidden, and that's the way I think it should be. The filthier and more forbidden it is, the more exciting it is.”
— Mel Brooks

Over here we use the phrase "oversexed and underfucked" (yeah, I know that it is horrible English) . . .

It’s perfectly correct colloquial English. Reminds me of the line about American soldiers stationed in Britain during World War II: “Overpaid, overfed, oversexed and over here.”

To get back to your example, the noticeable thing is how unreal and artificial the ad is.

A gorgeous 19-year-old blonde swimsuit model in a classic 1950s convertible at a drive-in, practically having an orgasm while she eats a burger? What’s so unrealistic about that?