Klingons shooting first or being aggressive up front, and the Romulans being suspicious of everyone, in a universe where anyone can warp in above your planet and start shooting, is a valid and intelligent path to take. Just like how the Federation decides to be friends with as many people as possible. The Klingons were occupied and took the lesson that, to never be occupied again, they had to be aggressive. The Romulans lost a civil war/civil strife and were exiled or fled Vulcan, and local space a thousand years ago (which was right around the Hurq too?) probably wasn't filled with happy, friendly civilizations either.