I've talked to others about episode and the sex crime aspect didn't dawn on them but saw it when pointed out. I'll give the episode another watch and see if maybe it goes down better knowing more context. Overall, I think the toughest part is just the stuff in the news lately.
But if not finding it funny that woman was chemically compelled to have sex with a being she had no interest in and was being harassed by at work makes me a snowflake then, winter's coming because sex crimes aren't funny and shouldn't be shrugged off or dismissed because that just feeds the idea of the "rape culture" some say we have.
It seems it may have merit considering how much people want to justify these events (he's an alien and couldn't tell, she was comming on to him) not thinking about the totality of every interaction the two of them had had the entire season. It may also have gone down better if Finn had still more or less taken it in a flattered, humored but uninterested way and not had finally had enough and was tired of being harassed.
When I watched the episode before reading reviews and comments, I didn't make any connection with what's happening in America with the sexual harassment and assault claims situations. But I did see the aspect of our characters having sex against their will because they were drugged by an alien.
It's a common staple in sci-fi, but usually, it's either characters who already have some level of attraction between each others, even if sometimes they are not willing to admit it (thus the alien stuff is just giving them a little or too strong push) or antagonist characters. When it's antagonist characters (like Seven and B'elenna in Voyager), they are antagonistic in term of opinion and personalities. It's not like one character is sexually harassing the other character like it's the case with Yaphit and Finn. For example, Seven and B'Elenna could have contracted a disease that compelled them to have sex with each others. It's bad because those characters don't like each others but at the same time, Seven didn't sexually harass B'Elenna against her will for a couple of episodes. Trying to get in bed with her. As you said, Finn didn't feel flattered or humored by Yaphit advances and the writers made it clear in that very episode. She was willing to file an official complaint against him.
But that said. The "forced" sexual relationship between Finn and Yaphit was not in Yaphit fault at all. He didn't roofied her. As you know and we often see in romantic movies. Sometimes, there's a fine line between love and hate. Sometimes a woman (in this case) don't like a guy coming on to her. She doesn't stop talking about him to her friends about how he's stupid, don't stop asking her on dates stupidly and look bad, but then she ends up marrying him. I'm not a psychologist but maybe she couldn't stop talking about how she hated him because she was not willing to admit to herself that she liked him. We often see that type of situations in romantic movies (I'm not sure how common it is in real life).
All this to say, Yaphit can't be blamed for the situation. He was possibly also affected by the alien pheromones and may have just felt that Finn changed her tune about him or was at least willing to have a wild night with him. Since it was the same day she came hard against him (threatening an official complaint), it's possible she felt she went too far and decided she was, after all, attracted to him. At the same time, Yaphit was blinded by his own attractiveness to Finn. If he was not drugged, he just felt his sexual advances finally worked. So I can't blame him. Even if Paris in Voyager, was much fairer and a true gentleman with B'Elenna when faced with a similar situation. True and better, husband material for sure. Yaphit is only obnoxious imo.
When I watched the episode, I felt it was really Darulio the real rapist. When I watched the episode, I felt Kelly was actually drugged and raped by Darulio in the pilot, same with Mercer in the episode. Darulio knows about his pheromones situation and take advantage of it to have sexual relationships even if he can't help himself. Since he knows about his own "pheromones" situation. He's the one who must take the responsibility to tell other people about the situation (touching him lead to being roofied) and mitigate this problem (wear gloves or, be careful who you touch, if it happens tell them and keep your distance, etc). He even broke a couple.
So the situation with Finn didn't shock me as much as the Darulio-Kelly-Mercer situation. Darulio should face the consequences of his actions and inactions or at least have a solid interplanetary talk about this. Unfortunately, this aspect was not discussed in this episode.
Sorry for the long post...