The Missing Line of Dialog that Destroyed Star Trek XI

[Jack Bauer]

Get to the choppah!!!!

 

[F. King Daniel]

BORG: "We are the Borg."

KIRK: "Bullshit."

 

[6079SmithW]

Nero: Why the hell aren't you shocked that we look just like Vulcans?!
Robau: ...?
Nero: God! There was no visual communication in the Earth/Romulan war. No one even knew what a Romulan looked liked until "Balance of Terror"!
Robau: I...I don't know. Altered timeline?
Nero: But that's...Ya know what? Forget it. Lets just get on with the movie.

 

[F. King Daniel]

ROBAU: I am the great Robau! I know all!! Besides, no one said "Romulans" until the bits of the film 25 years later!! And since Enterprise and TOS kept coming across aliens that look human, why should anyone be suprised that there are Vulcan-lookalike races, too?!?! Didn't you watch that Next Gen episode where Picard got hit with an arrow, Nero?!? You people are everywhere!!!

NERO: I am the last of the Romulan Empire!!!

ROBAU: Tell than to the Mintakens! Or the Vulcanoid Rigillians of Rigel V!

NERO: Fine, you win. It's not a canon violation.

ROBAU: Good. Now...where were we?

(*ka-chink* blades pop out of Nero's staff)

ROBAU: Actually, never mind, eh?

 

[6079SmithW]

Ayel: Uh, Prod Nero, Sir? I think that George Kirk guy just plotted a collision course with us.

Nero: We have insurance, right?

 

[Wynterhawk]

Nero: Man, this thing itches.

 

[F. King Daniel]

Nero: I killed your father!!

Kirk: Oh yeah? This is the past, and I fucked your mother! I am your father, Nero!

 

[Gaith]

More like:

Nero: Why the hell aren't you shocked that we look just like Vulcans?!
Robau: ...?
Nero: God! There was no visual communication in the Earth/Romulan war. No one even knew what a Romulan looked liked until "Balance of Terror"!
Robau: Oh, Christ, we're not still going with that, are we? Romulans and Vulcans had warp technology for centuries, and never so much as exchanged a video chat? It's a new timeline; can't we paper over some of the silliness of yore?
Nero:Y'know, there's sense in that. Can we get rid of TOS/TNG-style super slow phaser laser beams while we're at it?
Robau: Sure.
Nero: Ooh, can we show some teh gay?
Robau: Let's just worry about making enough to earn a sequel, okay?

 

[Wynterhawk]

Nero: Um, can I get this heart to go?

 

[6079SmithW]

Nero: We've accidentally altered the timeline. We need to go back. Back to the future!

 

[Jack Bauer]

Khannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!