The Missing Line of Dialog that Destroyed Star Trek XI

[Islander]

Spock: I love you Jim.

Kirk: Forget it Spock. Your not getting my Budweiser Classic, the king of beers and a product of the Anheuser Busch bottling company of St Louis, Missouri, Earth.

McCoy: Whassup?

Cue the rousing chorus of Enterprising Young Men Of Genius.

Cue the rousing chorus of Enterprising Young Men Of Genius...singing row row row your boat?

 

[cooleddie74]

AMANDA:"I'm proud of you, Spock...you're my son...and I always will be proud of you! Even when I catch you masturbating to pictures of other men!"

 

[Islander]

SAREK: "Why did I marry your mother, Spock? Well, you see, human women actually swallow..."

 

[cooleddie74]

SAREK:"You will always be a child of two worlds. Which is why I hate taking you to all your school activities."

 

[EnsignRicky]

Pike: When I nod my head, punch it!!

 

[LeadHead]

George Kirk: Captain incoming text message!

Robau: Read it.

George Kirk: OMG! Who r u? Our GPS broke! Nearest Starbucks?

 

[Hartzilla2007]

George Kirk: Captain incoming text message!

Robau: Read it.

George Kirk: OMG! Who r u? Our GPS broke! Nearest Starbucks?

George Kirk: Sir, their also using a twitter account.

Robau: Lock all weapons on them and fire at will.

 

[LeadHead]

George Kirk: Captain incoming text message!

Robau: Read it.

George Kirk: OMG! Who r u? Our GPS broke! Nearest Starbucks?

George Kirk: Sir, their also using a twitter account.

Robau: Lock all weapons on them and fire at will.

Do you really have to jump on EVERY line I put in here that involves Robau? That's really annoying.


Pike: Is the Parking brake on?

Sulu: No Sir, I left it in Neutral.

 

[cooleddie74]

PIKE: Did you leave the parking brake on?

SULU: Ha ha. Funny, sir. Kiss my ass. I hope you end up in a wheelchair and using flashing lights to communicate!

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Dialogue from the scrapped direct-to-DVD sequel, Chekov and Sulu Go To Risa.

Chekov: "Phew, ve should be safe in zis shield generator factory."

Sulu: "Wait a minute! This isn't a shield generator factory! It's an Explode In 1 Minute Photon Torpedo Factory!"

 

[cooleddie74]

PIKE: Beep-beep, bitch. Suck my dick.

 

[Islander]

PIKE (As the enterprise is comming out of warp over Vulcan, or so he thinks): "Sulu, where the hell are we? Did you turn right after Alpha Centauri?"

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK PRIME: "James...T...Kirk.


Where'd you go for almost 94 years?! All you said you needed to do was take a quick leak!!"

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Well, we're a great crew, I've become Captain because Pike is crippled, McCoy is Chief Medical Officer because Puri got blown up, Scotty is Chief Engineer because Olson got vaporized by a 24th Century Mining Drill, Sulu is Helmsman because McKenna got sick, and Uhura is communications officer because the last guy was incompetent. This really is the voyage of the damned isn't it?

 

[cooleddie74]

PIKE: "Like the wheelchair? It has a beer coaster on the side...and wireless uplink to all the Orion and Risan porn sites I want!"

 

[LeadHead]

*Thread Rescue*

Pike: Remember you have to plant explosives on the drill and blow yourselves up so that the Enterprise can beam you back.

Kirk: What?!

Pike: Good Luck.

(Pike opens hatch sending team out into space)

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK PRIME: Curious. History has been changed...and yet...Sulu is still a flamer.

 

[Islander]

GAILA (Pointing at Kirk's naked crotch): "What the hell is that little thing?!?"

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Ayel: "Captain Nero - the guests will be arriving soon for the party, but there's nothing to eat! What should we do?"

Nero: "FIRE UP THE BARBECUE!"

 

[cooleddie74]

PIKE: Where all the Talosian bitches at?!?