The Starfleet Ships were destroyed by the Narada. The Enterprise didn't come under attack by the Narada the moment it exited warp for about a whole minute. It doesn't take more than a minute to raise shields and go to red alert.
Plus Nero stopped his attack on the Enterprise the moment it looked familiar, so you also have that to think about.
I think it's worth remembering that Kirk isn't Captain Kirk yet. Even Spock is still a bit green. Take the subsequent sequence, when Nero demands that Pike join him on the Narada. Kirk and Spock haven't gotten any further in their thinking than, "It's a trap!" Pike on the other hand has already crunched the numbers: "I know it's a trap, rookies. I'm going to fly over there to buy us some time and get us in position to do a space jump and take out the drill."
This reminded me a bit of the scene in TWOK, when you realize that Kirk is two steps ahead of everyone else, and that he had been speaking to Spock in code. Kirk just isn't there yet as a strategical thinker, he doesn't have the experience yet.