The competition is heating up. The Cardassian Union has declared a strong contender, but the Klingons are never ones to take defeat lying down. They have assembled the best, the brightest, and the most ravishing their planet has to offer for the pageant to end all pageants. (Dear Gods, please do let it end...) Who said that? 
They've broken out the hairspray and back combs, feather lashes, glitter blush, and mountains of lipstick in the hopes of producing a contender who can pound the competition into the dirt. Literally!
Here they are, your field of competitors, and regardless of your true feelings, don't say the "u" word in these ladies' earshot. Some of them look...dangerous.
#1 Miss Thing, Kang! Kang earned the right to the "Miss Thing" title by being the first Klingon ever to butt heads with a certain James T. Kirk and not only survive the encounter but walk away with a better understanding of her enemies. A legend among her people, she says humidity is her worst enemy. We strongly recommend you don't ask what happened to her hair.
#2 Miss Old School, Kor! Kor is so old school, she walked five miles there in the freezing snow uphill both ways and could still kick your mother's ass at the end of the day. Not only that, she'd smile doing it. Kor says she could tell you the secret of her luxurious locks, but then she'd have to kill you. We don't think she's joking.
#3 Miss Starfleet Alum 2372, Worf! As the first Klingon to graduate Starfleet Academy, Worf is proud to represent her alma mater. She believes no look is so bad that it can't be improved with a generous slathering of lip gloss, and she challenges you to find a prettier woman with as thick of a beard. Challenges you to the death, that is!
#4 Miss Klingon High Council, Martok! Martok says that bangs are in this season and that lashes don't have to match to be faboo. She wants everyone to know that there is no shame in losing a body part in glorious battle and that scars should never be hidden, but celebrated. What an inspiration!
#5 Miss Antrhope, Gowron! Gowron's title says it all, we think. Truthfully, we're a little afraid to add anything except that three cans of hairspray and four combs were sacrificed to achive her fabulous do. We don't know how many pheasants perished for the lashes. Or did she say peasants?
There you have them, the creme de la creme, the epitome of Klingon beauty and fortitude. One and only one will go on to compete in the DS9 "Miss" Universe Pageant. You decide who wins the title of Miss Klingon Empire!
They've broken out the hairspray and back combs, feather lashes, glitter blush, and mountains of lipstick in the hopes of producing a contender who can pound the competition into the dirt. Literally!
Here they are, your field of competitors, and regardless of your true feelings, don't say the "u" word in these ladies' earshot. Some of them look...dangerous.
#1 Miss Thing, Kang! Kang earned the right to the "Miss Thing" title by being the first Klingon ever to butt heads with a certain James T. Kirk and not only survive the encounter but walk away with a better understanding of her enemies. A legend among her people, she says humidity is her worst enemy. We strongly recommend you don't ask what happened to her hair.
#2 Miss Old School, Kor! Kor is so old school, she walked five miles there in the freezing snow uphill both ways and could still kick your mother's ass at the end of the day. Not only that, she'd smile doing it. Kor says she could tell you the secret of her luxurious locks, but then she'd have to kill you. We don't think she's joking.
#3 Miss Starfleet Alum 2372, Worf! As the first Klingon to graduate Starfleet Academy, Worf is proud to represent her alma mater. She believes no look is so bad that it can't be improved with a generous slathering of lip gloss, and she challenges you to find a prettier woman with as thick of a beard. Challenges you to the death, that is!
#4 Miss Klingon High Council, Martok! Martok says that bangs are in this season and that lashes don't have to match to be faboo. She wants everyone to know that there is no shame in losing a body part in glorious battle and that scars should never be hidden, but celebrated. What an inspiration!
#5 Miss Antrhope, Gowron! Gowron's title says it all, we think. Truthfully, we're a little afraid to add anything except that three cans of hairspray and four combs were sacrificed to achive her fabulous do. We don't know how many pheasants perished for the lashes. Or did she say peasants?
There you have them, the creme de la creme, the epitome of Klingon beauty and fortitude. One and only one will go on to compete in the DS9 "Miss" Universe Pageant. You decide who wins the title of Miss Klingon Empire!
That is hilarious and disturbing. I voted for Miss Anthrope.
