The Breakup Thread

[kes7]

I was 17, and I was engaged to my high school sweetheart. (Yes, I know we were too young. But we were in looooove...) One day, he gave me the "it's not you, it's me" talk and said that it was nothing personal, but that he just didn't want to be in a relationship. It turns out that he had been cheating on me with my best friend for about a month (I found this out through mutual friends), and a week after the breakup, they started openly dating. Now they're married with 3 kids.

That happened to me, too. Except for the "with my best friend" part -- that's about the only thing that could have made the situation worse. But otherwise, right down to the "they're married with 3 kids now," the exact same thing. I feel your childhood pain. I found living well was the best revenge.

 

[NickInABox]

I would normally advise saying, "I am gay," but that doesn't work in this situation.

Well then

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

I would normally advise saying, "I am gay," but that doesn't work in this situation.

Well then

Or it very well could.

 

[AstroSmurf]

A 15 minute bus ride during the school year.
Three hours over holidays.
Truth told, I'm not really bothered by the breakup since it's only been a three month thing. Plus I realized he's not really my type. Very judgemental. High maintenance too.

And he wore eye makeup on our first date.
Awk.
Ward.

Actually I am with you there. All you had to say was "judgmental" and "high maintenance" and I completely agree with the decision. Toss in the bit about the eye makeup and I was running the other way with you. I have dated a few of those and let me tell you they are no picnic. But if I know the type (and I know the type) they will be pleased to have something to help gain them some attention. Even though they will tell you differently, breaking up with them will be a good thing. They can then ride the "pity wagon" until the middle of January, which will make an excellent Christmas gift. Of course his friends will want to pull your hair for throwing fuel on his "needy" fire.

As for breaking up with him, do it like you would pulling off a band-aid. The quicker the better. A quick phone call or text or just a simple email will do. And you might think that is heartless but who cares. If I know the type (and I do) you are going to be made out to be the bad anyway so why confuse the matter. Trust this old queen when he says, it is easier to play into their myopic and selfish need for everything to be all about them than to be the hero here.

 

[NickInABox]

A 15 minute bus ride during the school year.
Three hours over holidays.
Truth told, I'm not really bothered by the breakup since it's only been a three month thing. Plus I realized he's not really my type. Very judgemental. High maintenance too.

And he wore eye makeup on our first date.
Awk.
Ward.

Actually I am with you there. All you had to say was "judgmental" and "high maintenance" and I completely agree with the decision. Toss in the bit about the eye makeup and I was running the other way with you. I have dated a few of those and let me tell you they are no picnic. But if I know the type (and I know the type) they will be pleased to have something to help gain them some attention. Even though they will tell you differently, breaking up with them will be a good thing. They can then ride the "pity wagon" until the middle of January, which will make an excellent Christmas gift. Of course his friends will want to pull your hair for throwing fuel on his "needy" fire.

As for breaking up with him, do it like you would pulling off a band-aid. The quicker the better. A quick phone call or text or just a simple email will do. And you might think that is heartless but who cares. If I know the type (and I do) you are going to be made out to be the bad anyway so why confuse the matter. Trust this old queen when he says, it is easier to play into their myopic and selfish need for everything to be all about them than to be the hero here.

Hahahah this might be the gayest thread in the BBS now.

 

[AstroSmurf]

^ I think you may be right. We just need to get the other boys in here and really play it up.

 

[JustKate]

Hey, just because it's a gay thread doesn't mean you still couldn't throw chocolates at his head. I'm just sayin'.

 

[AstroSmurf]

^ He could even throw chocolates at my head. Of course I would need to be facing him with my big mouth open. Mmmm. Love chocolate.

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

Of course I would need to be facing him with my big mouth open. Mmmm.

You filthy beast! I like that. But i saw this one first.

 

[JustKate]

Oh, I love chocolate, too, but at the time I threw these particular chocolates (you can see the story here: http://trekbbs.com/showthread.php?t=110048&page=2 - post #29 in this thread), I loved the idea of hitting the guy in the head with them even more. I missed, darn it, but it was a satisfying moment nonetheless.

 

[kes7]

JustKate, I wish you lived closer to me, because I get the idea that a girl's night out with you would be quality entertainment. Alas, Indiana is about a nine-hour drive. Sigh.

 

[AstroSmurf]

Of course I would need to be facing him with my big mouth open. Mmmm.

You filthy beast! I like that. But i saw this one first.

It is strange how you can take the most innocuous things and make them dirty. I would say you are almost an artist with it but I wouldn't want to give you any more encouragement.

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

Of course I would need to be facing him with my big mouth open. Mmmm.

You filthy beast! I like that. But i saw this one first.

It is strange how you can take the most innocuous things and make them dirty. I would say you are almost an artist with it but I wouldn't want to give you any more encouragement.

Ooh, the bitch is back.

But there are a few rules yes. Don't feed the bears, and don't encourage the shameless.

 

[NickInABox]

Well, while we're on the subject of my exboyfriend.
I'd like to ask you something. If you're seeing someone who isn't a fan of Star Trek, and there was a new episode on (well... in this case it's Stargate Universe), and you watch that new episode, would it be a douche move for them to put their iPod on while they sat beside you while you watched the episode?

I, for one, would watch the episode with the person, even if I wasn't interested in it.

 

[AstroSmurf]

I would watch. I spent three years watching "Dawson's Creek" (all the while wishing for a gun) because of love.

And wearing an iPod? That is just rude!

 

[NickInABox]

Okay thank you.
I knew something was horribly wrong with that situation.

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

Yeah it's rude.

 

[sidious618]

I'd rather just say, "Nah, I'm not all that interested in that." than sit there listening to my i-Pod.

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

You know, that's all it really takes. But if my boyfriend asked me to watch something with him, yeah i would. For him.

 

[Tom Riley]

Well...

My last boyfriend and I ended up being rather on again off again... So I've got several different stories of ways people can break up. Although I don't think I'd recommend many of these... if any... anyways.

The first time we broke up, He did it through text. We were a long distance relationship so I didn't fault him too much for it, although I'd still have rather had a call. He said it was because he thought we were going different places in our lives... he thought we were going different places in our lives because he had just taken up smoking pot and I hadn't quite approved... He realized how dumb a reason that was and we got back together a week later.

After being together for quite a while after that, we became engaged. About a month after getting engaged he called off the engagement but wanted to remain boyfriends, and then a few weeks later broke up with me... over facebook chat... He said that he needed to find himself. That he didn't know where he was going in life. He told me he didn't want to call because it would have been harder, and he knew I'd cry and if I cried then he'd cry and he doesn't like people to hear/see him cry... We got back together 2 months later, and we got re-engaged a little while after that.

The last time he broke up with me was in January. I had gone to see him from the middle of the last week of December till the middle of the first week of January. It seemed like we had a good time to me, but then January 19th hits, and I find that he had blocked me on AIM, deleted me from his friends on facebook and myspace, and deleted everyone he knew through me as well... He wouldn't even answer any of my texts or phone calls. He eventually started talking to me again and said that he had just panicked because he had been questioning "us" and instead of bringing it up with me to see what we could do about it, he panicked and just cut me out. No going back that time. He's moved on, and I remain single.

One of the times I've broken up with another guy earlier on because it just wasn't working out between us. I just explained to him, in person, that I just didn't feel like he and I clicked the way we should if we were suppose to be a couple. I told him how I felt, and he took it well and we just parted ways.