(Of course, all names are withheld for their protection. Also, warning: long post ahead)
So there's a person who, while not a co-worker, comes by to hang out at my workplace anyway. And that's fine. That's not the problem. The problem is that he's a compulsive liar who knows no bounds.
He keeps talking about how he's in demand with the US Army and that he's always on the verge of getting deployed to many, many hotspots like Iraq and Afghanistan (last year he was a Marine. At least, that's what he told me). Except, he's been dropping by the workplace for the past three years and somehow, some way, for the past three years his deployment orders always get "rescinded." Also, let's forget that, really, he's in no physical shape for service nor does he have the mental fortitude for 5 minutes of basic training (and I say that as a peacenik bleeding heart civilian).
But enough was enough. Last Tuesday, I wanted to test him out. He came to me with his usual tall tales of the military, but that was my opening. My first question was: What's your specialty? Intelligence, he says (hah!) Where did you undergo basic training? He replied Fort Hood, Texas. I asked, how long ago was this? He said this was five years ago. I mentioned that between 2001 and 2006, the US military and the UN were exchanging a lot of info even with all their disagreements, and that a team from the UN came to Fort Hood -- this is no tangent on my part, as I wanted to see what he would say with his intelligence background. As far as I know, no UN team went to Fort Hood.
So I played the trick up my sleeve. I said, "They came to Fort Hood in 2005, to trade info about WMDs. Hey, that's when you were in basic training, right?"
"Right," he replies. "I was already working on all these top secret projects."
"A UN team going to Fort Hood was all over the news, man. It was a special team: the United Nations Intelligence Task Force. Y'know, UNIT."
Without fail, he excitedly replies, "Yeah, UNIT! I was guarding the gates. I didn't see them directly, but they came in limos. Those UNIT guys, they all had nice suits. Nice guys, though."
"And really great red berets, right?" I added.
"Yep, red berets. And flags on their limo."
"Oh, I don't care about the limo, really. But I really dig those berets."
"Yeah. Hey, wait a minute, how do you know so much about the military?"
"Oh, I read," I say with a slight but satisfied grin. He quickly replies, "That's cool."
Without missing a beat, he turns around, calls out his friend's name, and quickly runs over without saying anything else.
----
Of course, this is for my own amusement. There are a couple veterans who roll his eyes every time he talks. There are also a few coworkers who are Doctor Who fans. Both groups get a kick out of this story, but I just had to indulge myself and share this tale with the board
But in hindsight, I should have asked if they brought glitterguns.
So there's a person who, while not a co-worker, comes by to hang out at my workplace anyway. And that's fine. That's not the problem. The problem is that he's a compulsive liar who knows no bounds.
He keeps talking about how he's in demand with the US Army and that he's always on the verge of getting deployed to many, many hotspots like Iraq and Afghanistan (last year he was a Marine. At least, that's what he told me). Except, he's been dropping by the workplace for the past three years and somehow, some way, for the past three years his deployment orders always get "rescinded." Also, let's forget that, really, he's in no physical shape for service nor does he have the mental fortitude for 5 minutes of basic training (and I say that as a peacenik bleeding heart civilian).
But enough was enough. Last Tuesday, I wanted to test him out. He came to me with his usual tall tales of the military, but that was my opening. My first question was: What's your specialty? Intelligence, he says (hah!) Where did you undergo basic training? He replied Fort Hood, Texas. I asked, how long ago was this? He said this was five years ago. I mentioned that between 2001 and 2006, the US military and the UN were exchanging a lot of info even with all their disagreements, and that a team from the UN came to Fort Hood -- this is no tangent on my part, as I wanted to see what he would say with his intelligence background. As far as I know, no UN team went to Fort Hood.
So I played the trick up my sleeve. I said, "They came to Fort Hood in 2005, to trade info about WMDs. Hey, that's when you were in basic training, right?"
"Right," he replies. "I was already working on all these top secret projects."
"A UN team going to Fort Hood was all over the news, man. It was a special team: the United Nations Intelligence Task Force. Y'know, UNIT."
Without fail, he excitedly replies, "Yeah, UNIT! I was guarding the gates. I didn't see them directly, but they came in limos. Those UNIT guys, they all had nice suits. Nice guys, though."
"And really great red berets, right?" I added.
"Yep, red berets. And flags on their limo."
"Oh, I don't care about the limo, really. But I really dig those berets."
"Yeah. Hey, wait a minute, how do you know so much about the military?"
"Oh, I read," I say with a slight but satisfied grin. He quickly replies, "That's cool."
Without missing a beat, he turns around, calls out his friend's name, and quickly runs over without saying anything else.
----
Of course, this is for my own amusement. There are a couple veterans who roll his eyes every time he talks. There are also a few coworkers who are Doctor Who fans. Both groups get a kick out of this story, but I just had to indulge myself and share this tale with the board
But in hindsight, I should have asked if they brought glitterguns.
How long does Bush have to be out of office for us to live it down? 
I can never tell how thin-skinned someone will be. No real intent behind the words, other than to take a friendly stab. Apologies all around if needed. 
