Thanks to Doctor Who, I caught someone in a lie

Discussion in 'Doctor Who' started by Cyke101, Mar 12, 2010.

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  1. Cyke101

    Cyke101 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    (Of course, all names are withheld for their protection. Also, warning: long post ahead)

    So there's a person who, while not a co-worker, comes by to hang out at my workplace anyway. And that's fine. That's not the problem. The problem is that he's a compulsive liar who knows no bounds.

    He keeps talking about how he's in demand with the US Army and that he's always on the verge of getting deployed to many, many hotspots like Iraq and Afghanistan (last year he was a Marine. At least, that's what he told me). Except, he's been dropping by the workplace for the past three years and somehow, some way, for the past three years his deployment orders always get "rescinded." Also, let's forget that, really, he's in no physical shape for service nor does he have the mental fortitude for 5 minutes of basic training (and I say that as a peacenik bleeding heart civilian).

    But enough was enough. Last Tuesday, I wanted to test him out. He came to me with his usual tall tales of the military, but that was my opening. My first question was: What's your specialty? Intelligence, he says (hah!) Where did you undergo basic training? He replied Fort Hood, Texas. I asked, how long ago was this? He said this was five years ago. I mentioned that between 2001 and 2006, the US military and the UN were exchanging a lot of info even with all their disagreements, and that a team from the UN came to Fort Hood -- this is no tangent on my part, as I wanted to see what he would say with his intelligence background. As far as I know, no UN team went to Fort Hood.

    So I played the trick up my sleeve. I said, "They came to Fort Hood in 2005, to trade info about WMDs. Hey, that's when you were in basic training, right?"

    "Right," he replies. "I was already working on all these top secret projects."

    "A UN team going to Fort Hood was all over the news, man. It was a special team: the United Nations Intelligence Task Force. Y'know, UNIT."

    Without fail, he excitedly replies, "Yeah, UNIT! I was guarding the gates. I didn't see them directly, but they came in limos. Those UNIT guys, they all had nice suits. Nice guys, though."

    "And really great red berets, right?" I added.

    "Yep, red berets. And flags on their limo."

    "Oh, I don't care about the limo, really. But I really dig those berets."

    "Yeah. Hey, wait a minute, how do you know so much about the military?"

    "Oh, I read," I say with a slight but satisfied grin. He quickly replies, "That's cool."

    Without missing a beat, he turns around, calls out his friend's name, and quickly runs over without saying anything else.

    ----

    Of course, this is for my own amusement. There are a couple veterans who roll his eyes every time he talks. There are also a few coworkers who are Doctor Who fans. Both groups get a kick out of this story, but I just had to indulge myself and share this tale with the board :)

    But in hindsight, I should have asked if they brought glitterguns.
     
  2. The Badger

    The Badger Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Nice one! though you should have asked if they had a 'special scientific adviser' with them!;)
     
  3. Asbo Zaprudder

    Asbo Zaprudder Admiral Admiral

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    It sounds like a fairly mild delusional disorder that doesn't harm anyone else. Probably best just to humor him. I'd only worry if he starts talking about having access to lethal weapons.
     
  4. Starkers

    Starkers Admiral Admiral

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  5. Lonemagpie

    Lonemagpie Writer Admiral

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  6. The

    The Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    :( How long does Bush have to be out of office for us to live it down? :(
     
  7. The

    The Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Also, well-played with the UNIT con. That's hilarious!
     
  8. 23skidoo

    23skidoo Admiral Admiral

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    That was great! You should have upped the ante and see if he responded to names like Sgt. Benton or Capt. Yates!

    Alex
     
  9. Brefugee

    Brefugee No longer living the Irish dream. Premium Member

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    Did Bush then allow you all to own guns? I was under the impression in comes under your constitution that you have the right to bear arms or some misguided shite like that.

    As for the OP, do you actually feel clever about this? Well as you posted it on here, I guess you do. Maybe this individual's fabrications are some way of asking for help or another form of social interaction, but of course, you probably didn't think that far ahead did you, just as far ahead to belittle the guy.
     
  10. The

    The Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Well, it was actually intended as a joke with Starkers, but since you've obviously had your sense of humor surgically removed I can understand why you are a twat. :p

    Yes, because you as a human being are above such things. Well done. :techman:
     
  11. Kelso

    Kelso Vice Admiral Admiral

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    I wonder if he went home and googled UNIT.
     
  12. captcalhoun

    captcalhoun Admiral Admiral

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    actually, IIRC, some were from WWII and i think one was Belgian. He'd've had to've been like Wolverine or Nick Fury to've won them all.

    (pretty sure recruits to the US Army do basic at some place in Georgia. Hood's an armoured base...

    ah, according to wiki, basic's done at five locations around the US. Hood ain't one of them. Hood's home to III Corps... if he's really an intel specialist, he would've got to Fort Huachuca Arizona...)
     
  13. Cyke101

    Cyke101 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Fear not, I never went "GOTCHA!" at the end, or else I would have mentioned it above and (perhaps wrongly) reveled in whatever reaction he took. His friends and my co-workers know not to challenge him, just nod in agreement. No one tries to one-up his tales, even if that person is factually right.

    Why yes, yes I do.

    Y'know what? You're right. That was incredibly insensitive of me. I'll not just apologize to the gentleman, but I'll encourage every liar, backstabber, perjurer, cheat, cheatER, BSer, con artist, deceiver, phony, and shady person to continue their honorable ways. Somewhere, someone is cheating on a test, plagerizing a paper, violating a child's trust, or spreading false rumors around in order to donate blood to the Red Cross.

    Lighten up.
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2010
  14. Neroon

    Neroon Mod of Balance Moderator

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    The both of you need to leave it alone and head back to your corners. Otherwise, I'm setting you in front of a marathon of 24 hours watching "Fear Her". :p


    Sounds rather personal ......
     
  15. Brefugee

    Brefugee No longer living the Irish dream. Premium Member

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    Sorry but what on earth? I get called a twat (look at example five on the link) in a thread and thats the best you can do yet I got banned for a day for something of equalness!!!!
     
  16. The

    The Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Is "twat" considered harsh on this board? :confused: I can never tell how thin-skinned someone will be. No real intent behind the words, other than to take a friendly stab. Apologies all around if needed. :techman:
     
  17. The

    The Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Now, that's not fair. I never called you Tony Blair... :p :lol:
     
  18. Neroon

    Neroon Mod of Balance Moderator

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    Guys... listen. Discussion on moderator actions is supposed to go to PM, not continued in the thread of origin. Work with me. I'm trying to avoid giving anyone an infraction if possible.
     
  19. captcalhoun

    captcalhoun Admiral Admiral

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    hey, Spiff warned me for calling someone a 'moron' after he claimed all the Transformers cars were Fords.

    *shrug*
     
  20. Brefugee

    Brefugee No longer living the Irish dream. Premium Member

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    Then moderate, I do not appreciate being called a twat by someone I do not know. Given that you gave me an infraction for using similar language, I personally think you should get on with your job. And you're damn right this should be left to PMs, as soon as you PM and explain your stance to me, I'll leave replying in here.
     
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