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Spoilers Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Grading & Discussion

Grade the movie.


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I saw a tremendous parody on Reddit of what the "fans" would have loved to see. Here is a paste.

"Snoke is a clone of Palpatine, activated by Thrawn in the Unknown Regions. This needed to be discussed as Snoke and Kylo walk down a hallway before stopping to sit on a couch while twi'lek strippers give them lapdances.

When Rey handed Luke that lightsaber, he should have said "Ah! My daughter, you are the Chosen One who will bring balance to the Force. Come, let's train!" Cut to a Rocky montage of Rey and Luke swinging lightsabers and running on the beach in short shorts.

Phasma needed to be revealed as Boba Fett's daughter just so she's connected to the OT in some way. She leads an army of AT-ATs through space while the Resistance unleashes more X-Wings than there were Riders of Rohan at Helms Deep. Its so epic. So many CGI dudes die in the background. Poe kills lots of dudes. Phasma twirls her mustache and flees into space.

The last scene of the movie is Rey and Luke landing on Snoke's ship in the hangar and killing all of the Stormtroopers using Force Crush. Then another ship approaches. It is Old Leia. Luke and Leia hold hands and say "Wonder twins! Activate!" and the ghosts of Obi Wan, Yoda, and Anakin ignite their sabers. This group of Super Friends fights Snoke and Kylo for three hours until Snoke reveals that he is Rey's other father and Luke reveals that he is actually Kylo's father. Everyone yells "Noooo" and the ghosts disappear out of disgust while Luke cuts off Kylo's hand, Snoke cuts off Rey's hand, Leia shoots a hole into the trash compactor and she and Luke get in and make good their escape."

Credit goes to /u/albinofreak620

The "ironic" thing is that people would've complained about that. Really, there's nothing this movie could have done that would have satisfied fans. Nothing at all. When people set their expectations too high sometimes they just cannot be achieved. The biggest complaint we hear about The Force Awakens is how derivative of A New Hope it is (which is a justifiable criticism) and here we get a movie that, by and large, is different than previous SW movies (yes some of the action pieces were similar and there were similar beats here and there but not anything out of line for any movie or franchise doing arced story telling) and people now complain and bitch.

And, you just loose me when you go into "SJW" bullshit and start complaining about there being strong female characters and seeing male characters as being portrayed as incompetent fools. It's funny how it's "SJW" bullshit for people to want stronger female characters who aren't there to play a sensual or sexualized prize but it's *not* SJW behavior to see all male characters as being portrayed a certain way, perceiving them as inferior to female characters.

Jesus our society is so fucked up and so many people are just full of themselves and up-tight about virtually anything that doesn't meat established, historical, norms.

Hell, it dawned on me that Rose is a good character since the girl playing her isn't conventionally attractive (that is, on Hollywood standards.) She's not a "leading lady" type, particularly in a genre known for fan-service for men in the use of female characters. So here we have this un-conventionally attractive woman as Finn's partner and then the middle-aged woman in Lara Dern's character. (Something else that's pretty damn rare to see.) Good on this movie for doing these things.
 
I enjoyed the movie overall. Some of the humor fell flat, but some of it had me LMAO. "Am I on hold?" "Page turners, they are not." "You think you got him?" :lol: I didn't have a problem with the porgs, I just think they may have been overused a tad. If they'd dialed back the humor a tad, it would have been okay.

The three "HOLY SHIT!" moments worked for me (death of Snoke and Kylo Ren and Rey vs. the Praetorian Guards, lightspeed through Snoke's super destroyer, and Force-projection Luke taking on the First Order walkers). Sure, it's disappointing Luke didn't have a laser sword battle with Kylo Ren, but then again, I'm not sure I would want to see Luke Skywalker engaged in a highly choreographed Prequel-style lightsaber battle. It would just seem out of place.

I definitely want to see it again!
 
The porgs, thank-god, were forgettable to me. They were there as the toy cash-grab, fine. Maybe a few parents will now find themselves having to buy their kid a bet gerbil. Whatever.

But as far as cool sci-fi creatures go, I really liked the crystalline fox. In countless sci-fi and other movies I've seen dozens of cute, expressive, plump little creatures. I've never seen a carnivorous animal with crystalline "fur."
 
Leia never referred to herself as ‘Skywalker’ anyway. And in terms of pure DNA - unless all of Shmi’s ancestors only had one child each, there’s be at least dozens of offscreen distant cousins.

It’s almost like the movie had a point in criticising the notion of pure/important/destined ‘bloodlines’ as a load of crap.

...

Someone’s gonna use the branching nature of genetic ties to build a ‘theory’ about how Rey can still be a relative, aren’t they?
 
Leia never referred to herself as ‘Skywalker’ anyway. And in terms of pure DNA - unless all of Shmi’s ancestors only had one child each, there’s be at least dozens of offscreen distant cousins.

Anyone in Shmi's line prior to Anakin is kind of irrelevant, though.
 
Someone’s gonna use the branching nature of genetic ties to build a ‘theory’ about how Rey can still be a relative, aren’t they?

It's actually not that hard to do so. Unless the Force came from Shmi's side of the family... Anakin has to have a father, right?
 
Anakin was supposedly conceived by the Force ( or Darth Plagueis if you want to believe that theory ). He had no father.
 
Saw the movie and it was AWESOME!!!
The good isn't dead in Ben Solo yet. And... we finally found out what Obi-Wan meant when he said, "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine." Yoda called down lightning! And he's dead!
 
Anyone in Shmi's line prior to Anakin is kind of irrelevant, though.

It’s all irrelevant. What’s that got to do with the price of eggs?

Also, a bit of an ironic comment to make considering one of central themes of TLJ.

Anakin was supposedly conceived by the Force ( or Darth Plagueis if you want to believe that theory ). He had no father.

The movies never established it was the Force either. It’s just a theory the Jedi kick around, and even some of them express doubt.

The context of Shmi’s actual line means he could easily come from ‘no father,’ the same way Rey comes from ‘no parents.’ Of course, the implications of that explanation are pretty dark even for a movie featuring characters that’s are frigging slaves.
 
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Let me preface this by saying i'm a pretty casual star wars fan. I've seen all the films, read some of the novels, i know enough about the lore to get by but i don't have an emotional investment in the franchise. I don't get angry over the prequel films, i don't really care who shot first etc.. Having said that I think this is a bad movie. It's poorly edited, poorly scripted, poorly plotted and filled with dumb logic defying moments. This vid pretty much somes up my feelings about the film:

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Also, a bit of an ironic comment to make considering one of central themes of TLJ.

The importance ( in Force terms ) of the Skywalker bloodline starts with Anakin. If we're talking about Skywalker relatives branching off from an earlier point in the family tree, we might as well be talking about non-Skywalkers so there's not much point in following them as opposed to anyone else.

The context of Shmi’s actual line means he could easily come from ‘no father,’ the same way Rey comes from ‘no parents.’

Except that's: (a) lame and pretty obviously not what is being implied in TPM; and (b) not one of the possibilities covered by Lucas in 2005.
 
Another question: Just why does Dern's character (name?) withhold the plan from Poe? Wouldn't it have made more sense if there had been the implication of a traitor aboard the Alliance ship and therefore any plans were strictly need-to-know? I think that whole sequence could have been more immediate - and could have even bound Finn's mission more tightly to the rest of the story, with just one phrase hinting at that...
For the same reason the Imperials can't 'lightspeed jump' a couple of Star Destroyers (or hell send in a wave of TIE Fighters) to get in front and to the sides of to just blow up the Last Resistance transport in oh 5 minutes. ;)
 
The importance ( in Force terms ) of the Skywalker bloodline starts with Anakin. If we're talking about Skywalker relatives branching off from an earlier point in the family tree, we might as well be talking about...

Kylo? Leia? Shmi? Anakin himself? After all, they were random ‘branches’ added on at different points.

Kylo was once just Han and Leias therotical offspring. Shmi was Vader’s theoretical mother. Leia was just some vague ‘another, and Anakin was Luke’s offhandedly dead backstory-dad. Not ‘Force important.’ Apparently someone evidently thought they mattered.

But more importantly: We were never talking about importance of characters in ‘Force’ terms (because why the hell would we be.) We were talking about mourning the ending of a fictional bloodline, and why that’s a bit iffy from both a Doylist and Watsonian perspective.


Except that's: (a) lame and pretty obviously not what is being implied in TPM; and (b) not one of the possibilities covered by Lucas in 2005.

The alternatives are the immaculate conception via magic microbes, or the endless wankery provided by the EU. ‘Lame’ is apparently very much from a certain point of view.

And whilst I dont hold any animosity towards the him, Lucas ain’t running this show anymore. Plus, he himself set the ‘only movie content is binding’ rule.
 
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Satron, Finn's glider was already being melted on the way there and would have been incinerated if it dared the cannon to pick off a wannabe hero.

Rose rammed him right before he managed to fly into the gun, nearly killing them both in the process.

Haldo didn’t need to explain herself to anyone. She’s a vice-admiral and mutiny is not standard procedure.

You are right, she doesn't have to explain herself. But it would seem kinda helpful to inform your crew and your pilots to get ready for evacuating the ship so that this can go as fast and smooth as possible.
 
With all of this fan backlash against The Last Jedi, I think it’s important to remember something: Kylo Ren and Poe Dameron totally sang together in the sixties.

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With Justin Timberlake!

If this doesn’t melt the naysayers hearts, I don’t want to know them.
 
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