Star Trek XI Caption Contest #31: Cupcakes

[Nerys Myk]

But First

Any Other Stupid Questions Award

Ayel: "What are the wherabouts of Ambassador Spock?"

Robau: "Fuck if I know. Hey, any of you guys know some obscure Tholian Ambassador? I'll just show you guys a hologram and assume you know who the hell I'm talking about."

This Is Not the SciFi You're Looking For Award

Spock: Help me, Robau-One-Kenobi. You're my only hope!

I'll Just Have the Jello Award

Kirk and McCoy stumbled upon the latest victim of the cafeteria's dreaded meatloaf.

My New Shoes Award

KIRK: Great.

(*Sighs*)

Why didn't anyone WARN us they let people walk their dogs in here?!

Get Over Yourself Award

Kirk: "When I look around that room at all those faces looking up at me, expecting me to know what to do, and I know all that responsibility rests on my shoulders, alone. And, Bones...what if I'm wrong?"
McCoy: "Oh, for Christ's sake, all they did was make you leader of our class study group!"

MY EYES!!!!! Award

Screenshot from 'Star Trek-The Director's cut'

Premature Award

Ayel: Do you know the location of Ambassador Spock?

Robau: Oh, sure. No problem. I'll tell you-

Nero Screams and impales Robau

Ayel: Nero!

Nero: What? I'm not supposed to be the most thoughtful of villans.

 

[Nerys Myk]

And now this month's pic

 

[Finn]

Kirk: Valtane?

Kirk:....Is that a Kermit tatoo?

Gaila: It's not easy being green.

 

[bullethead]

Cupcake: Once, in another life, I was the Stig's American cousin.

It's all fun and games until someone loses a contact.

 

[Rat Boy]

Cupcake: "I have the death sentence on twelve systems."

Kirk: "I'll be careful."

Cupcake: "YOU'LL BE DEAD!"

Uhura: "I need to stop hanging out in these wretched hives of scum and villainy."

Kirk: "That's Iowa for you."

Gaila: "What's wrong?"

Kirk: "I...I was reminded of lime Jell-O."

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Cupcake: "Look, Kirk. For the last time - having a goatee does not make me evil".

Kirk: "Get back, Uhura. This man is not of our world!"

Uhura (thinking): Oh boy.

Kirk: "Is that a dead monkey?!"

Gaila: "My interfering old aunt from West Oz. She keeps having them fly over and keep an eye on me. Oh just ignore it, she's got plenty more".

 

[UFO]

Cupcake: … and in the Fifth Meditation, Descartes demonstrates the existence of God from the idea of a supremely perfect being!

Kirk: Descartes is full of shit man! As Kant pointed out, ontological arguments are vitiated by their reliance on the implicit assumption that "existence" is a predicate!!

Uhura: Hey chill guys, lets get back to discussing something less controversial like bestiality.

Gaila: You're a film buff right, have you ever noticed how in most American moives they have sex in their underwear?

Kirk: Sure. What’s your point?

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Kirk: Ow!

Gaila: I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I keep forgetting how sexually immature humans are. Maybe next time we can make it to first base.

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!

Cupcake: Hey farmboy, in case you haven't noticed. There's 3 of us.

Kirk: And all of you lost your wallets. Back off, go to the other end of the bar and I'll buy a round.

Cupcake:......Deal.

Kirk: I have to hide under the bed again? Uhura knows we're dating!

Gaila: Uhura is coming back from the Spaceport with my mother.

Kirk: Under the bed sounds great!

 

[Bob Karo]

Gaila spitting and heaving: PFFT! Oh Gods! You humans taste aweful! What the hell!

Kirk blinking rapidly and wiping his face: Jesus, you could at least try and be polite. I got past the lime green jello smell you're pumping off....

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Uhura (O.C.): Hi, honey, I'm home!

Gaila: Oh, gods, my girlfriend! Quick, hide under the bed!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, Nerys Myk!

Uhura: "Guys, if you're doing this to impress me, there's really no point. Neither of you has a snowball's chance in hell."

Gaila: "Oh, I'm sorry! I'm new at this kind of thing! I guess I should be a little more careful about where I swing my knees, eh?"

 

[UFO]

Kirk: Arrrgh ... that hurt! Look, I'm sorry, it was just the heat of the moment.
I didn't mean to call you Uhura.

Gaila: Uhura this, Uhura that! Uhura got top of her class!
Its obvious who you'd rather be with!!

Kirk (muttering under his breath): Talk about green with envy.

 

[Candlelight]

Cupcake: "May I have this dance?"
Kirk: "Certainly, I don't want it"

Kirk: "I'm supposed to stick it where??"
Gaila: "Not everyone keeps their genitals-"
Kirk: "Wrong universe lady!"

 

[Woulfe]

Star Trek : Cupcake & Lime Jello

Kirk : So your name really is Cupcake ?

Cupcake : We did that joke before

Uhura : We did ?

Gaila : What do you mean you shouldn't have had the green Jello earlier ?

Kirk : HORK !

Gaila : Oh....

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Cupcake: "I think I'm in love..."

 

[Vassa]

Girard: No Picard has ever endured such insults!
Jim: Bring it, Frenchy!
Nyota: Oy...

Agent Klatl'z of the HaVr'kin Empire (thinking): I'm not getting paid enough for this job.

 

[Drob]

Kirk: God dammit girl, that chafes!
Galia: Hang on... <spits in palm>

 

[Crazy Eddie]

Kirk: Goddamn that was kinky... um, hey, I thought you said you were gonna show me your nose job?
Gaila: That <snort, sniff> WAS a nose job. <sniff, sniffle> Do you wanna do the other nostril or do you need a minute?

 

[StrikeFire83]

Kirk: You call that a dick?

Uhura: Does that come in an adult size?

Cupcake: Hey, I was BORN THIS WAY!

Gaila: I swear this has never happened before!

Kirk: With the big green the tits I certainly wasn't expecting to find one of those.