Star Trek XI Caption Contest #13: Where Have I Seen You Before?
- Thread starter Rat Boy
- Start date
WINONA: The baby's coming!!!!
GEORGE(on communicator): Like father, like son eh?
WINONA: OH, Shut the hell up...and get your dumb ass down here!!!
SPOCK: Mister Chekov's plan will work.
But first I will require ten yards of string, a strobe light, nine avocadoes, six ounces of sexual lubricant, two ball-peen hammers and a copy of the original program to the 2042 World Series.
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KIRK: This place got a toilet?
'Cause this red uniform's about to turn THREE colors.
MRS. KIRK: The baby is coming, George!
MR. KIRK (over comm): You can do it, Gracie!
MRS. KIRK: Gracie?
MR. KIRK (over comm): Well, you have gotten big as a whale...
BONES: Take the last train to Clarksville,
KIRK: And I'll meet you at the station.
BONES: You can be be there by four thirty, 'Cause I made your reservation. Don't be slow.
KIRK: Oh, no, no, no!
BONES: Oh, no, no...
BECKETT: NO!
SPOCK: Stop being so obvious when you cruise me, Lieutenant.
WINONA: George, I want you to demote or FIRE these nurses!!!
The bastards keep lying to me...these damn holistic epidurals aren't doing SHIT for me!!!
KIRK: If I can't go aboard the Enterprise, what the hell am I supposed to do?! Just STAND in this hangar like some idiot for the next couple of days?!
OFFICER: Seems to be working for your friend over there, son.
SPOCK: Send the following message to Starfleet Command. Scramble! Use Code Two in case Nero and his crew are listening!
"Commander Spock in temporary command, U.S.S. Enterprise...rumors of Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu moonlighting as a synthesized fudge packer and operating from within a closet appear to have basis in fact!!"
BONES: Jim, what the hell are you doing?! We need to get going!!
KIRK: This looks like a drive-thru terminal. I'm seeing if this place has onion rings and curly fries.
Mrs. Kirk: "Your Captain now you shmuck! you can get them to beam it out of me! Your dick already barely touches the sides!"
Kirk: "I'll have a full cream Cappacino with all the trimmings and a nice biscotti"
Beckett: " I think spectacles migh be a better idea blind boy!"
Spock: "OK Bitches I'mm the Captain now so try not to look so feckin gay!!
Crewman "ooooh get her!"
George, hurry up and get down here!!!
My communicator's at just two bars...and my cervix is at four centimeters!!!
KIRK: Do you guys have a shuttle with a No-Virgins section?
SPOCK: Mister Chekov's plan will work.
Provided, of course, the laws of physics AND common sense can both be temporarily suspended and we can create a massive loophole in the logic of the plot with our equipment and weaponry!
George!!!
Can you hear me, honey?!?
Listen... I had the nurses keep the placenta in case you still wanted to play that prank on the bridge navigator!!!
KIRK: Who the hell are YOU looking at?
OFFICER: For I second I thought I was seeing my grandmother's old douchebag...but that's supposed to be in her bedroom dresser back in Ohio.
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SPOCK: There. I did a Number One AND a Number Two. I'm good for the rest of the trip back to Earth.
Let's go!
Spock: "My keen olfactory senses tell me somebody's been smoking pot. You know that's against regulations."
Standing Goldshirt: "So what are you going to do to us?"
Spock: "Actually, my stash always gets found, and I'd like to know how the hell you gentlemen avoid that."
Short Guy: "NOoooo that computer terminal's name is NOT V'GER and you're not going to convince it to add your name to the roster!"
OFFICER: We done here yet, Cadet?
I can't stand around all damn day helping you decide whether you want to supersize your Tarkalean tea or not.
SPOCK: Alright.
WHO is the comedian who put the "I'm With Stupid" sign on my father's back when we were standing next to one another?
Dusty Ayres
Commodore
GEORGE:Honey, there's something you need to know!
WINONA: What is it?
GEORGE: I've been involved with Captain Robau for the past couple of weeks...
WINONA: You're telling me this NOW? When I'm about to concieve our kid?
GEORGE: It just happened, and I like big, bald men!
JIM: Don't make me go all Luke Skywalker on your ass!
-Can I fly the ship? Pretty please? With sugar on it?
-I'm sorry, but I don't consume sugar in any form. Splenda and Equal are allowed, however.
Quinto: "Hey, Jim, after playing Kirk yourself, you're not having any problems with your 'demotion,' are you?"
Cawley: "Absolutely not! As an actor, I'm just happy to have the opportunity to bring a character to life. Any character. Whether it's Captain Kirk or just a lowly lieutenant doesn't really matter."
Quinto: "It's really burning your ass, isn't it."
Cawley: "Like you wouldn't believe!"
Spock: I believe that I have discovered the identity of the person who has been posting hysterical
"I'm Captain Kirk! I'm Captain Kirk!" voice entries in my Incoming Personal Communications queue.
Seated goldshirt (whispering): Dude, you are so busted.
WINONA: SCREW my idiot husband, dammit!! Someone get Captain Robau to get his ass down here...it's HIS damn baby!!!
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