Star Trek XI Caption Contest #1: Shakedown Cruise

[Shatmandu]

Hiya, folks.

The other boards have a running caption contest, and since Trek 2009 completely obliterates decades of continuity (), I thought one here would be good. If and when this board goes away or merges with another, we'll deal with it.

Rat Boy and I will work to make sure there's not much overlap with the Trek Movies Board Caption Contest, as far as shots go. If I do put one up that you guys have already done here, just let me know.

Most of you know how these things work, so we'll get right to it. The first official bits are:

Have at it.

Joe, presumptious

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "What time does Grandma need her coat back?"

Trekkie: "This is for the SNL shit."

 

[Gecko of Gorn]

Kirk: Oh my god! You killed Kenny!! You pointy eared bastard!

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Chris Pine: "707,000 screen caps from this movie, and Shatmandu uses the ONE that makes me look like a bloated corpse!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Now your face knows what a Polar Bear turd feels like."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: If James Arness or Kurt Russell show up, I'm out of here!

 

[Nerys Myk]

ROMULAN: Who you gonna throw up on now?

 

[Trekker4747]

Kirk: "So, I just have to ask... Is it really forked?"

Attacker: You've hung from your last ledge, boy!

 

[Gecko of Gorn]

Kirk: Goddamn! Romulans are bifurcated, as well?!!!

 

[Shatmandu]

Pike: "You stop this illusion, or I'll twist your head off!"

Kirk: "Let me go, you crazy bastard! You're an Admiral!"

 

[M'Sharak]

Nero: Okay, now do... oh, I know! Do Sting.
Kirk: *glurg!*
Nero: Sayyy, that's not bad!

 

[Jptrekker]

Spock Prime: I'd put your hood up, quickly.
Kirk: Why
Spock Prime: This is the Trek XI forum, if you're not careful, somebody is going to Photoshop a sombrero onto your head.

Kirk: Why are you here again?
Spock Prime: Mrs. Slocombe banished me here from the waiting room after I held on to her pussy for too long.

 

[Nerys Myk]

RAT BOY: I was gonna use these in the Movie forum!

PINEMANDU: ***gurg***

 

[AdmiralGarak]

Kirk: "Y'know Spock... if I squint hard enough, you kind of look like my last girlfriend in this light."

Frank: "That's for driving my car off a cliff you bastard!"

 

[Crazy Eddie]

Spock: I don't like this new engine room. It looks like a brewery.
Kirk: How do you know what a brewery looks like?

Bernd Schneider: Three hundred and two meters! The Enterprise is 302 meters long you son of a bitch! Say it! Say it! SAY IT!

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Chris Pine's agent after seeing this picture: "Well, we can kiss that January GQ cover goodbye....."

 

[Shatmandu]

Patience exhausted, at a DVD Release Party Shatner got his revenge.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Me, strangling Chris Pine: "Olivia Munn? OLIVIA MUNN????"

 

[Franklin]

Kirk: I can't believe this! With all that's at stake, we're walking up and down these corridors looking for a fricking restroom?
Spock (looking worried): Look, I've got a 160 year-old bladder. Is that one just up ahead? Let's walk faster.

 

[John Picard]

Kirk: "It is friggin' cold in here."
Spock Prime: "Indeed. Cold enough that my balls froze, fell off, and rolled across the room like two fur covered ice cubes."