Star Trek XI Caption Contest #1: Shakedown Cruise

Olivia Munn, hehehe. Good one, Randi.

 

(for those who don't know me, i may be crazy obsessed, but i am NOT violent!)

 

Kirk: Are you aware the hood to your coat looks like a bassinet?



Attacker: Believe me, this is how Shatner caught Pausnia, you'll be hamildy emoting in no time.

 

Spock does look like Kenny with that hood on, doesn't he?

 

Kirk: So this is the 23rd century, right?
Spock: Right.
Kirk: And we're on an alien planet lightyears from Earth, right?
Spock: Right.
Kirk: So why is their a solid-state electronics speaker on the wall back there? And why is this place made of crusty old concrete and brick? And why was the metal door rusty, hard to open, beaten up and looks like something you'd see on the back of an auto-garage?
Spock: It all looks real and gritty. People will eat it up.

 

Klaatu Barada Nikto!

 

Kirk: "Is that jacket painful?"
Spock: "What? Oh, I forgot to introduce you to my wife. Tina, this is James Kirk as a young man. Jim, Tina."

 

LANDSHARK: When we get to the door, let me do the talking.

 

`

Knock knock.
Who is it?
Candy-gram.

 

Kirk: "Why are you obsessed with me partnering up with the younger you?"

Spock: "For years I farted on your pillow. It cures your acne and softens my stools."




Kirk, thinking: "My bloated cartoonish hands and bloated blowfish face will lead to.... SUPER-ERECTION!"

< BOING. Romulan falls to his death. >

 

Kirk: "So are you saying all I have to do is to piss you off and I'll get command of the ship? Sounds dangerous."

Spock: "What's the worst that could happen?"



Sarek (off camera): "Uh, Son, he's not breathing."

McCoy (off camera): "My God, man; his eyes are bugging out!"

 

And just to get this out of the way...



Spock: "Did you squeeze her buttcheeks and beat off?"

 

^ We've got a ton of those ...



Kirk: "Nice story. But how did Khan know Chekov?"




Kirk: "Nude jumping jacks? Yeah, he said it was mandatory for new cadets. Why?"


And then a regular one:




Kirk: "There's gonna be women at this party, right?"

 

Warped9's Mother: "What's all this noise down here?"

 

(Does this thread also contribute points-wise to the 'other' movie thread...)



Kirk: "And so this other universe Kirk... he actually won fist fights?"
Spock: "Yes, and there were far, far less lens flares there too"
Kirk: "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! NO WAY MAN!"



Kirk: "Banana... BANANA!!"
Gaila: "I changed the safe word"
Kirk: "Fuck it... oh well"

 

Kirk: "Well, aside from snow cones only costing a penny, I can't find anything good about this place."

 

Kirk: You know that coat makes you look like a uncircumcised penis.

 

Not at first. We'll start fresh.

If this forum ever gets merged with the regular Movie forum, to make way for the next movie, then the points will maybe merge, too.

It's up to Rat Boy, actually. That's his baby.

Joe, whose real baby sneezed in his mouth at 3 a.m. recently

 

Kirk: All you need are two beady eyes on each side of your head, and your fish head costume is complete,
Fish heads fish heads, Roly poly fish heads, Fish heads fish heads,Eat them up yum "
Spock Prime: "Stop It..."



Pine " I'm gonna puke!"