CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Ten Forward
“What a day,” said Iden Nix as she collapsed into a chair at a table in the crowded lounge. She had thought Ten Forward would be empty tonight, but it was busier than usual, if a little more subdued, and she realized that everyone was looking to forget about the Borg and their missing first officer.
“Indeed,” T’Pring replied, sipping calmly at a cup of tea. For reasons she did not fully understand herself, she had agreed to accompany Iden to Ten Forward this evening. She had to admit to herself that she was feeling a tiny bit unsettled. She had maintained her outward serenity flawlessly today, but the loss -- even temporarily -- of their XO, upon whom she depended to be the logical counterbalance to their emotionally-driven CO, had been a disappointment to her.
“Well, if it isn’t the man of the hour,” Iden suddenly said quietly, looking at the doorway, where Telek, the Andorian engineer had just entered, looking like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.
“I fail to understand why the members of this crew persist in discussing his actions today as if they were praiseworthy,” said T’Pring. “By all accounts, he disobeyed a direct order from Lieutenant O’Connor and put his own life at risk.”
“Exactly. To save her life,” Iden shot back. “That’s heroic.”
“Only because he succeeded,” T’Pring noted. “He could just as easily have been killed, along with Lieutenant O’Connor. Then we would have lost two engineers, in which case I highly doubt you would all be calling his decision anything but foolish.”
Iden gave T’Pring an exasperated look and waved Telek over. He cautiously approached the table. “Nice job today, Telek,” Iden told him. “I heard you saved Maren and then neutralized the drones after she was injured.” Telek nodded, looking uncomfortable.
“Has anyone actually seen Maren since this morning?” Iden asked no one in particular and everyone at once.
“I believe the captain conversed with her,” T’Pring said. “I assume the medical staff has done so, as well.”
“I mean any of us,” Iden clarified. “Non-captain, non-doctor people.”
“I tried to go see her after my shift ended, but sickbay access is restricted due to a drone. The one I injured is still there,” Telek said quietly, taking a seat at the table.
“I bet Quigley’s seen her,” Iden said. “Ryzal was bitching about him disappearing this morning. I’d bet my last credit he was with her.”
“He’s the young tactical officer, a very tall human?” Telek asked.
“Yes, him,” replied Iden.
“He was leading the security team in engineering just after she was injured. I got the impression they were quite close.”
Iden snickered. “I think he wishes they were closer.” T’Pring raised an eyebrow at this, but said nothing.
At that moment, Alex Slidell walked in, ordered a synthale and sat down uninvited with Iden, T’Pring and Telek.
“No fire water tonight?” Iden mocked him in a faux-innocent voice. He gave her a dirty look. “Where’s Marcus?” she asked.
“Working,” Alex replied. “What a crazy day, huh?”
“Crazy,” Iden agreed. T’Pring stared at her tea, and Telek sighed and nodded. The table fell silent as they all lost themselves in their own thoughts.
*****
Sickbay
John had come too late to apologize. Maren was sound asleep. Sheila Duggal reported she had spent most of the afternoon alternately working, crying and sleeping for only a few minutes at a time, so Sheila had finally given her something to knock her out for a few hours so she could get some real rest. He almost hadn’t been allowed in due to the way he had upset her earlier, but he had promised Sheila he was only there to apologize and find out what he could bring Maren from her quarters. The young doctor had relented and let him in to see her.
He tried to get comfortable in the visitor’s chair next to the biobed, but his tall frame didn’t fit well, and it was a losing battle. He sighed and looked at Maren. Even sound asleep, under heavy sedation, her face still looked tense. He felt horrible for her, especially knowing he had played a part in making her terrible day even harder than it had been to begin with. Thankful she was so very unconscious, took her hand in his and squeezed it gently, while examining her fragile-looking fingers. He had always liked her little hands.
“She’s lucky to have a friend like you,” a female voice from behind him said. John flinched and dropped Maren’s hand, turning around to see who had come in. It was Taran Madar, and he suddenly remembered today had been his counseling day. “When you didn’t show up for our session today, I thought I’d come and find you,” she explained. “Given what happened with Commander Icheb and Lieutenant O’Connor, I thought you might need to talk.”
John sighed. “You’re not supposed to be in here,” he said irritably. “How did you get past Doctor Bashir?”
“Professional courtesy,” she replied. “I wanted to check on my patient. He’s spying on us to make sure I don’t talk to her, see?” She pointed through the glass window, and John saw Julian keeping an eye on them. He nodded in Julian’s direction, and Julian responded in kind.
“I could use a walk and a drink,” John sighed, standing up and stretching. He looked back at Maren and consulted the chronometer on the biobed display. “She shouldn’t wake up for another hour or two. Ten Forward?” he suggested.
“All right,” Taran replied. John hesitated briefly as he took a last look at Maren. What if she wakes up? I really should stay.
“I can ask Doctor Bashir to call us if she wakes up,” the Betazoid reassured him.
“Did you just read my mind?” John asked accusingly.
“I didn’t need to. Your concern for her is written all over your face. Like I said, she’s lucky to have a friend like you.”
John sighed and ran a hand through his closely cropped blond hair. “Not really,” he sighed. “Let’s go.”
*****
Ten Forward
As they sat down at the long bar in Ten Forward, Taran looked over at John. His face was drawn and stressed, and she couldn’t help but feel the mix of emotions emanating from the slightly younger officer even as she effortlessly blocked out his thoughts.
“What do you think our chances are of finding Icheb?” Taran asked.
John looked at her critically. “I’m under orders to refer all mission-related questions to Captain Oyugo,” he responded.
“Of course,” she replied with an air of bemusement.
The bartender, a twelve-tentacled being with spotted skin and large, glossy black eyes, took their orders as they sat at the long, curved bar. The atmosphere in the lounge was both tense and festive, and Taran could sense the crew’s relief that the Borg were behind them, along with worry over the mission and their missing XO. Taran ordered a glass of uttaberry wine, while John ordered a neat whiskey, which he downed in a single desperate pull. Taran sipped her wine slowly. Iden Nix stood up and came over.
“John, are you okay? How is Maren doing?” Iden asked with concern. She knew the tactical officer was close not only to Maren, but to Icheb, and he looked exhausted. She really was worried about him.
“She’s still in sickbay,” he answered, unable to give any more details than that. “I’ll let her know you asked about her, I’m heading back there in an hour or so.”
“How are you holding up?” Iden repeated, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“I’ll be happier when we find Icheb and Maren is back on duty.”
“Understood,” the Bolian woman replied, nodding. She looked at Taran. “Hi, I’m Iden Nix,” she said, offering her hand.
“Taran Madar,” Taran replied, shaking it.
“Well, I’ll leave you two,” Iden said. She looked at them thoughtfully for a moment and then headed back to her table. John ordered another drink.
“Are you okay?” Taran asked him, in a tone of voice that almost never failed to convince people to open up. John blinked a couple of times, staring at his drink, then looked at her.
“You’re the mind reader, you tell me,” he finally said irritably.
“Are you giving consent for me to read you telepathically?” Taran asked carefully.
John blushed and shook his head. “No. I just don’t know what to say.”
“Try the truth. We can go somewhere private if that’s easier.”
John shook his head. “Here is fine. We could move to that table over there, it’s kind of quiet.” Taran glanced over and nodded, so they picked up their drinks and walked over to the relatively secluded spot.
As soon as they sat down, the story came spilling out of John. How he had met Maren at the Academy and fallen hard, but she had met Icheb and fallen in love before he had worked up the nerve to do anything about it. How he had gradually settled into his role as best friend to both of them, and even come to think of Icheb as the brother he’d never had. How the two of them had been three months away from their wedding day when Icheb suddenly left without explanation, and never returned. What a mess Maren had been afterward. How they had all been assigned to this mission to the Delta Quadrant, and he thought enough time had passed that the wounds had healed, but he was wrong. And how now, suddenly, being around Maren every day, she was almost all he could think about.
“I’m not a good friend to either of them,” he told Taran quietly. “I’m in love with her; I have been since we were all kids. It was easy to pretend I wasn’t when they were together, but now they’re not, and it had been two years, you know? I don’t know what I was thinking, I asked her to that party and we both drank too much and I kissed her, and then Icheb disappeared and she almost died. It’s just a lot to process in twenty four hours.”
He didn’t know why he was opening up to the counselor like this, but it was a huge relief to let it out. In all the time since Icheb and Maren had gotten serious together, he had never told anyone else about his feelings. He finally looked at Taran and shrugged. “That’s all I’ve got,” he told her. “Think you can fix me?” he added with a sardonic smirk.
Taran ignored his flippant question and put a hand on his arm. “The fact that you care this much proves you’re a wonderful friend, John. You love them both. It’s natural that you have feelings for Maren,” she said comfortingly.
“Natural or not, I’d be pissed if it was the other way around and my best friend did it to me,” he replied. “I have to put it out of my mind,” he said, “get over it and just be a good friend. Neither one of them needs their life to be more complicated.”
“What about you?” Taran asked. “Don’t you think you’re making your life needlessly complicated by hiding your true feelings?”
“I can handle it,” John said, starting to clam up again. He didn’t have to be an empath to feel Taran’s disapproval.
*****
Sickbay
Maren clutched her phaser rifle like a lifeline as she made a sweep of the small room within the Borg vessel. Slowly, she approached one of the maturation chambers along the wall and peered through the glass front. She exhaled with relief. Empty. She moved on to the next, and the next. Both empty. Two more to go. She again peered through the glass and the familiar feeling of dread washed over her as she realized this one was occupied. She reached out and touched a small console, and the interior of the chamber was illuminated, revealing Icheb, who appeared to be sleeping, totally unaware of the implants that had sprouted all over his face and body.
Frantically, Maren started tapping at the interface, but she couldn’t seem to remember how to read the Borg display and figure out how to release Icheb. She desperately entered sequence after sequence, thinking that if she could only get him home, The Doctor would fix everything. She set her rifle down to give the task her full attention, and gasped as someone grabbed her from behind. She felt the assimilation tubules pierce the flesh of her neck, and her perspective suddenly shifted. Suddenly, she was looking out through a glass panel herself, surrounded by an eerie green glow. She could feel implants sprouting out of her own skin as the Borg nanoprobes coursed through her veins. She tried to scream, but found she couldn’t control her voice. All she heard was the Collective in her mind: “You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.”
She woke up in her room in sickbay gasping, the sound of her own heartbeat echoing in her ears. No matter how many times she had the same stupid, horrible dream; it still scared her just as badly. Back on Earth, the nights she had dreamed it were the nights she had been thankful that Icheb regenerated instead of sleeping. He may not have been able to hold her while they slept, but he had no idea she had ever had nightmares about him and the Borg, either. She knew she wouldn’t be sleeping again any time soon.
As she looked around her small room, she started to feel as claustrophobic as she had inside the maturation chamber in her nightmare. Thankful the medical staff had finally deactivated the restraining field so she could work, she pushed aside her tray table and carefully slid off the bed.
Outside her room, sickbay was quiet, and the lights were dimmed. She could see a task light on in Julian Bashir’s office, and a couple of medics sat in a far corner, chatting quietly to one another. In the very back of the spacious chamber, a security officer stood guard next to a biobed containing one very unconscious Borg drone.
Maren’s curiosity got the better of her. She quietly padded across the floor in her socks and blue patient’s gown until she was right next to the force field, staring at the drone, totally lost in thought. The part of her mind that was devoted wholly to engineering followed her eyes as they traced the various implants, instinctively identifying them and attempting to discern the way they interacted as a system. She compared the layout of the visibly damaged cranial implants to the structure of Icheb’s, which she had long since memorized. As she did, the dark thought crossed her mind that if only Icheb were here, she could probably have this drone’s cortical node out and installed in Icheb’s cortical array before anyone was the wiser.
Almost without thinking, she reached out to deactivate the force field to get a closer look, but the security officer shocked her back to reality by grabbing her wrist before she could touch the panel.
“What are you doing, sir?” he asked in that brusque ‘security officer’ tone she knew so well from hanging out with John and his friends.
“I- I wanted to take a closer look at the damage to her cranial implants,” Maren stammered quietly. “I wasn’t thinking, I’m sorry. It’s probably the medication, I feel a little foggy,” she added truthfully. She was already starting to think leaving her bed hadn’t been the best idea.
Julian Bashir clearly agreed. He was already right behind her. “What are you doing out of bed?” he asked her, taking her by the arm. “Come with me,” he said, guiding her back in the direction of her room. Maren planted her feet and resisted.
“Wait,” she said. “I see that you repaired the organic tissue, but not the cranial implants. I think I can assist you with that if you need it. Let me show you.”
Julian glanced at the drone and back at Maren. “For the moment, she’s stable. You can show me tomorrow. Right now you need to get back in bed.” Maren didn’t argue. She was starting to feel like she might faint or throw up. She leaned on Julian as he helped her back to her room and onto the biobed. As soon as she lay down, she closed her eyes, feeling slightly dizzy. Julian checked to make sure the biobed was reading her properly again, and did a quick scan with his medical tricorder.
“What’s going on? Is she okay?” a voice asked from the doorway. Julian and Maren both looked over to see John standing there. “One of the medics let me in,” he explained.
Julian gave him a coolly appraising look. “She’s all right,” he said, then turned to Maren. “Shall I leave you two?” he asked.
“It’s okay, Doctor, he can stay,” she said quietly, nodding, then added, “Think about what I said. I’d like to help if I can.”
Julian nodded and left the room, giving John a last warning look as he did. As he entered his office, he asked the computer, “Locate Captain Oyugo.”
“Captain Oyugo is in her quarters,” the computer replied. Julian hesitated for a moment, then decided to go ahead and pay her a visit. His curiosity had been piqued by her reactions to some things today, and he wanted to ask a few questions. There was a reason he was on this ship, after all, and it wasn’t simply to treat damaged drones and injured engineers.