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So Worf can ear a sash, Troi can wear a catsuit but Ro....

Why must a show set in the future represent the present? Why bother setting it in the future if that's the case?
It need not. I wasn't saying it should. I'm all for fiction being as fictitious as they want to make it
 
Starfleet probably has strict uniform regulations however individual commanding officers probably have some leeway on how strictly the rules are enforced. It would thus be up to the commanding officer to grant any dispensations. Starfleet might counsel commanding officers to show some cultural sensitivity by allowing especially non-humans to wear cultural symbols. But all in all it would be up to the commanding officer. Thus it would be a decision based on each individual case.

Troi and Worf both were officers of some repute and standing and thus Picard and Riker would probably be more tolerant towards them. Also Troi as well as Crusher both being medical personel would probably insure that the commanding officers feel less need to enforce the rules due to the particularities of their roles.

Worf as Klingon in Starfleet was of course very unique and as a recognitizion of that uniqueness they would probably let him get away with some things a human officer wouldn't get away with it.

Ro was only an ensign and a troublesome one at that. In later episodes we do see her wear the earring so it was just probably Riker making a point at that particular time and when she became a good little ensign (at least for the time being) she was allowed the same leeway as Worf/Troi/Crusher
 
It seems to be that the rule is: whatever the Captain, or superior officer, says goes. That is why Troi goes from catsuit to regulation Blue. Ro had quite an attitude, so Riker busted her balls. Or so he thought...
 
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