My theory is that
Twilight is really Mormon propaganda. Think about it. You've got a girl in a very unsupportive family situation who is lured into a very insular community and is ultimately only able to be with one of them if she becomes one of them.
Kevin speaks "as Bella" saying goodbye to Arizona, "Goodbye needlessly confusing decision to not recognise Daylight Saving Time!"
Hey, if you lived in Arizona, you'd realize that the last thing you need in the summer is another hour of f---ing daylight! If we could tilt the Earth further away from the sun in those months using some kine of James Bond-ish rocket boosters, we would. Besides, who needs the hassle of resetting all your clocks twice a year?
On the back of the DVD case "The most epic romance since Titanic."
This is when James Cameron is justified in hiring Arnold Schwarzenegger to dress up in his Terminator gear and kill that reviewer (as well as everyone else who shares the same name in the phone book).
Honestly, I don't understand what anyone sees in this movie. It has no redeeming features. The writing is painfully dull, even resorting to voice over narration, the worst crutch of a hack screenwriter!
The acting is even worse than the writing. Kristen Stewart never changes her facial expression throughout the entire film. As if to counterbalance that, Robert Pattinson is overacting in such a severely inhuman way that you'd think the man had never acted before. (It's a shame because he wasn't half bad as Cedric Diggery in
Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire.) What is supposed to be tortured romantic angst sounds more like severe irritation at the colored contact lenses he's wearing. And rounding out the cast is the hackneyed antics of Bella's classmates, who seem to be suffering from such severe mental retardation that they should still be in 1st grade.
I don't even understand why Edward is supposed to be so attractive. Robert Pattinson has his moments IRL but the pale make-up, weird contact lenses, and complete lack of acting ability each seem to conspire to make him as unattractive as possible. Plus, the guy is a hundred years old and he still lives with his parents? Since when did that become a turn on? (I mean, all the guy needs is an encyclopedic knowledge of
Star Trek trivia and he's me!)
A nice bit of actor trivia for you. That obnoxious classmate who asks Bella out to the prom is Michael Welch, also known as Artim from
Star Trek: Insurrection & young Jack O'Neill from
Stargate SG-1 "Fragile Balance."
And I haven't had a chance to check it out yet, but is the actress who plays Bella's mother also the actress who played Maria's mother on
Roswell?
I'm
almost tempted to see
New Moon. Taylor Lautner was one of the few actors in
Twilight that didn't make me want to claw my eyes out. And Michael Sheen probably has more talent in his little finger than the rest of the cast combined. (However, does Sheen play a vampire in
New Moon? If he does, I might spend the entire film shouting at the screen, "Lucian, how could you?! Race traitor!!!")
