I wonder if Picard has tried to have his cake and eat it do wrt some of Data’s malfunctions.
Starfleet JAG: Well clearly after this hijacking we’re going to have to have an inquest…
Picard: Admiral, I don’t think we can consider this a hijacking given that it was a really a program implanted by Dr. Soong…
Starfleet JAG: We all have instinctual “programs”—after all we’re all machines too, electrochemical in nature, and the question here’s what degree of responsibility Lieutenant Commander Data has for his actions, and implications that has for his fitness for duty and potential needs for care and rehabilitation, just as we would for any officer suffering from a psychological…
Picard: Really, I think this is settled: the program’s run, Dr. Soong was mortally injured by Commander Data’s evil twin, there’s no danger it will happen again (assuming we didn’t mix up the two, no chance we’ll fall for his antics like last time).
Starfleet JAG: Wait, last time?
Picard: In any case it’s an issue of programming that’s solved, just as would be if there were some malignant file on the Enterprise’s computer.
Starfleet JAG: But the Enterprise computer isn’t a person…
Picard: Admiral, it’s a problem of engineering, not psychology…
Starfleet JAG: But…
Picard:…and I’m starting to feel a speech coming on.
[JAG Office ends transmission]
Starfleet JAG: Jean-Luc, about Commander Data stabbing Commander Troi…
Picard: Oh, the counselor isn’t pressing any charges.
Starfleet JAG: It’s a case of assault on the flagship! If she’s not pressing charges I will.
Picard: Data merely saw an interphasic parasite on her shoulder and thought he would take care of the problem.
Starfleet JAG: With a knife in a turbolift! Captain, Data’s counsel’s free to argue what he wants but I think we need some kind of legal hearing to sort out the facts of this case, for the protection of your crew.
Picard: It was just the result of an interphasic pulse interfering with his positronic brain. It’s purely a mechanical issue.
Starfleet JAG: Data’s a person, he doesn’t have “mechanical issues,” he’s in serious legal trouble!
Picard: He’s a robot and we fixed him.
Starfleet JAG: But my office feels the need to clarify…
Picard: Admiral, Commander Data’s a droid and I am getting…
[JAG Office ends transmission]