Should I join a dating service?

[AstroSmurf]

As an anti-social misanthrope, social situations are always difficult for me. Luckily I am one of those people who met their partner at college (role-playing club - populated by other anti-social misanthropes!) otherwise I'd be completely screwed!

It's funny. I love anti-social misanthropes. I find myself drawn to them for the most part. My best match would be a anti-social misanthrope since they would balance me out.

You see I was raised in a home where I was forced to be social at a very early age. I also tend to dress well and carry myself very confidently. But under all of that is a great big geek who would rather be with other geeks. My appearance and social skills make that impossible in most cases. For example, I went into the comic book store the other day, looking spiffy of course, and they all looked at me like I wasn't supposed to be there! It was like I had invaded their castle or something. I wanted to shout, "I am one of you!" but I didn't. I just quickly made my purchases and got the hell out before one of them tried to phaser me. And I am not even going to tell you what happened when I tried striking up a conversation with the clerk at the register...

I guess what I am saying is that you were lucky to have met someone trampledamage. I am still looking for my geek, my social misfit, my scifi guy. And I hope and pray that when I do that they will let me get close enough to speak to them. "Not one of us! Not one of us!"

 

[trampledamage]

Maybe if you showed your TrekBBS business card - that might help the geek-cred!

 

[AstroSmurf]

Maybe. Either that or they would have asked me why I had Smurfs on it and kicked me out anyway.

 

[Capn Flukie]

Just say they're tiny Andorians.

 

[Kestra]

I took a look at match.com just out of curiosity. Now I'm considering signing up because there are a lot of hotties on there in my area.

One of my friends just met a guy on there and is having fun, but we're a bit older than you so I'm not sure if that makes a difference.

 

[AstroSmurf]

^ Earlier I did the same thing that sidious618 did and searched match.com. But unlike him, I didn't find much. However, I updated my profile (that I never did delete properly), switched it to viewable and reset my viewings. I wanted to see what would happen since I moved to a new area recently. I am embarrassed to say this but I already have two emails and it has only been up four hours. I may have to subscribe just to see who sent me messages.

 

[Kestra]

I'm trying to think of where couples I know met (in terms of online services). I think I know couples that met through OKCupid, EHarmony (or whatever alternative site they had for same sex pairings), and I think my other friend met her husband through Yahoo. I know people who have dated through other services, I'm just talking about long-term relationships here.

Keep in mind all of these couples met in RL pretty quickly; they didn't just do email and stuff like that.

 

[RoJoHen]

Yeah, if you're going to go the online route, you should try to meet the people in person as quickly as possible before you get too used to only communicating via the internet.

 

[AstroSmurf]

Meeting quickly is a VERY good idea. I can't stress that enough either. The longer you wait the more both people will start to fill in the blanks. More than likely the the actual person is NOT going to live up to the made-up one.

And on another note, I heard that Yahoo was merging with Match.com.

 

[RandyS]

You're 21 now, go to the bar or something.

Considering my sister's continued deterioration and alcohol abuse I just can't at the moment. It's probably silly but that's how I feel.

It's not a bit silly. My brother is also an alcoholic, and we were raised around several of them, so I feel the same way you do.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Exactly. And those outside the mainstream generally needed to settle for someone more ordinary if they wanted a long-term relationship.

Why are those outside the mainstream outside to begin with?

Obviously because they are non-conformists.

 

[JRS]

Be prepared for the usual contradictions, cliches and perfectionist profiles from women.
About Me:
I am looking for a man that is loyal, honest, faithful, caring, romantic, likes to have fun, enjoys life to the fullest, is looking for something slow to get the know each other and see where things go. (If you meet my ridiculously high standards, you might get some.)

Your forgot to insert there "sporty"..that means that the guy should have nice body, muscular one
But it is indeed true, that some of the demands that women have in their profiles are very...unrealistic (I want a though guy, but not too though...and so on..)
Then they complain that there isnt any nice guys out there..

Ive tried net dating and I can recommend it.
Yes, Im sadly one of those guys who could not get a girl from the "real world" and would be still a virgin without the computer Im not a drinker/bar person, so that might have been one of the reasons.
But anyway..
I met my current girlfriend at OkCupid, I tried some other sites first, but to me this one is the best..its very user friendly, free and fun to use also:

http://www.okcupid.com/

Somehow there the people seemed often less superficial, than on other sites..and I didint have to pay 5 euros just to read someones profile
Net dating in overall was an good experience for me, though one must have patience with it also.
Making a an honest profile with pics is a good place to start, however I recommend not writing whole life story there, because then you dont have anything to tell to the girl/guy you are talking with
Also, be active yourself on the dating site..and dont just wait some women to contact you. Send an email or just an wink(or similar) to the women you find interesting.

 

[Mr Awe]

Emher, you seem like a great guy who'd be great catch for someone. I'd say give it a try. Don't pin all of your hopes on it, but it probably wouldn't hurt to see what happens. You may meet Miss Right. Even if you don't, it may help you practice with the beginning parts. I wish you the best!!

Mr Awe

 

[DBR]

This is a great thread for me to impart some of my vast wisdom:

Off leash dog parks. There are tons of men and women with "single" stamped on their forehead.

And if you go daily, you kinda' get to know the regulars there and it becomes a social thing...but you aren't in one of those awkward social situations where you feel trapped. You can just move along.

Beware of owners of fat basset hounds. They will stop you, and want to share their entire life story with you again and again...day after day.

 

[TheBrew]

Meeting quickly is a VERY good idea. I can't stress that enough either. The longer you wait the more both people will start to fill in the blanks. More than likely the the actual person is NOT going to live up to the made-up one.

And on another note, I heard that Yahoo was merging with Match.com.

Seconded. Strike while the iron is hot. I've spent a week before asking someone out. Within a week, I will know if I want to see this person or not.

 

[RoJoHen]

Yeah, exchange a couple emails, get the know the basics, and then either dump them or ask them out.

 

[JarodRussell]

Meeting quickly is a VERY good idea. I can't stress that enough either. The longer you wait the more both people will start to fill in the blanks. More than likely the the actual person is NOT going to live up to the made-up one.

And on another note, I heard that Yahoo was merging with Match.com.

Seconded. Strike while the iron is hot. I've spent a week before asking someone out. Within a week, I will know if I want to see this person or not.

Meeting as quickly as possible, eh? How about taking the next step and meet people in the real world and ask them out the moment you see them?

 

[TheBrew]

Meeting quickly is a VERY good idea. I can't stress that enough either. The longer you wait the more both people will start to fill in the blanks. More than likely the the actual person is NOT going to live up to the made-up one.

And on another note, I heard that Yahoo was merging with Match.com.

Seconded. Strike while the iron is hot. I've spent a week before asking someone out. Within a week, I will know if I want to see this person or not.

Meeting as quickly as possible, eh? How about taking the next step and meet people in the real world and ask them out the moment you see them?

Because:
A) The only people I really meet are people at work and I avoid dating co-workers.

B) I hate playing the singles game where you have to be a detective to see if a girl is single or not. Online dating is quick and easy way to meet people for those of us who don't have the time to go out all the time.

 

[RoJoHen]

Meeting quickly is a VERY good idea. I can't stress that enough either. The longer you wait the more both people will start to fill in the blanks. More than likely the the actual person is NOT going to live up to the made-up one.

And on another note, I heard that Yahoo was merging with Match.com.

Seconded. Strike while the iron is hot. I've spent a week before asking someone out. Within a week, I will know if I want to see this person or not.

Meeting as quickly as possible, eh? How about taking the next step and meet people in the real world and ask them out the moment you see them?

Because you run the risk of asking people who are already in relationships, and that's just annoying. It's also potentially a giant waste of time. Just because girls are out and about by themselves doesn't mean they're single, and it certainly doesn't mean they want to be hit on by random guys.

If you start with dating service, at the very least you know the girl is interested in meeting new people as well.

 

[sidious618]

Meeting as quickly as possible, eh? How about taking the next step and meet people in the real world and ask them out the moment you see them?

It's possible to do both. Just because you look online doesn't mean you can't look around when you're out.