Five-Minute Atlantis: "Vegas"
Reporter: Amazing these new cameras we reporters get! I’m streaming the new
Star Trek trailer!
Alt-Sheppard: Er…no. It’s just me.
Alt-Sheppard: Mr. Wrinkly Dead Guy here has lots of crazy stuff on him.
Alt-Keller: Well now that I’m here, I’ll make sure he doesn’t anymore.
Alt-Sheppard: Should you really have your hair down like that?
Alt-Keller: We are pretending it’s
CSI. All the bimbos have their hair down when examining a dead body.
Alt-Sheppard: You’re a bimbo?
Alt-Woosley: Hello, I’m an FBI agent in this universe.
Alt-Sheppard: What do you want?
Alt-Woosley: Nothing. I’m just here now, so when I pop up later, you’ll know.
Nurse: So, are you going to call me later?
Alt-Sheppard: Sorry, I’m into dudes.
Nurse: Okay. Wait…what?
Sick Guy: Damn kids with their damn rock music and their damn punk-hair styles and their –
Wraith: KILL! KILL! KILL!
Sick Guy: And their damn hands that eat people.
Alt-Sheppard: Him…I’m going to go follow this guy for no reason other than the fact he lives next to the guy who just died that I don’t know about yet.
Wraith: What better way for me to acclimate life on Earth than to become a card shark. This makes perfect sense for a Wraith!
Alt-Sheppard: Thank you for letting me join this high stakes poker game with no questions asked whatsoever.
Wraith: Ditto.
Daniel Craig: Ditto.
Wraith: I win!
Sopranos Guy: Hey! I want my money back!
Wraith: (SHOVE!) That’s for the final episode!
Wraith: RUN! RUN! RUN!
Alt-Sheppard: RUN! RUN! RUN!
Wraith: FALL! FALL! SPLAT! RUN!
Alt-Sheppard: WTF?!
Alt-Woosley: Come with us.
Alt-Sheppard: Why?
Alt-Woosley: All I can say is that we’ve gone from
CSIto
Casino Royale. Now, prepare for
The X-Files.
Alt-McKay: So, there are aliens and stuff and we know everything about you, including the fact that you’ve never been married.
Alt-Sheppard: Damn Prop 8.
Alt-Todd: Blue skies/Purple rain/Deep down/It rains.
Alt-McKay: Oh no. He’s getting all beatneck on us! Someone, get him a copy of
On the Road stat!
Alt-Sheppard: Wait. Let me write this stuff down!
Alt-McKay: Why? It's crap.
Alt-Sheppard: I know, but this junk somehow sells, and I’ll be deemed a poetic genius!
Alt-Sheppard: Well thanks for showing me around and everything. My favorite part was the McKay/Keller ‘ship reference. I think we need more of those.
Alt-McKay: I agree.
Alt-Sheppard: So, why did you do all this? Am I needed on some far distant planet or something to stop this guy?
Alt-McKay: No. I just wanted to be nice. We are really just going to cut you loose now.
Alt-Sheppard: Well, now that my time has been wasted, I think I’ll go reenact the new
Star Trek trailer again.
Alt-McKay: Snide
Star Trek reference.
Alt-Woolsey: I used to be on
Star Trek reference.
Alt-Zelenka: I like
Star Trek reference.
Alt-Sheppard: Hey, I somehow found the trailer the Wraith had!
Wraith: BANG! BANG! BANG!
Alt-Sheppard: I’ve been shot! Damn it. This was a new shirt. Now way I’ll be able to return it now!
Alt-McKay: Alt-Sheppard told us where the Wraith is!
Fighter Jets: FIRE!
Wraith: KA-BOOM!
Alt-McKay: Whew! We blew up whatever he was building.
Alt-Zelenka: Wait! He sent a message to another universe!
Alt-McKay: That seems needlessly complicated.
Alt-Zelenka: Maybe, but it doesn’t look like the Wraith here got the message.
Alt-McKay: All right then! Screw the other universes, I say! Who cares about the other guys?
Alt-Zelenka: Also, Alt-Sheppard’s dead.
Alt-McKay: I already said, “Who cares?”
(The Wraith message travels the multiverse at ludicrous speed.)
The End
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Shout out to
Zeke and
FiveMinute.net for the concept.