Five-Minute Atlantis: "Vegas"
 Reporter:  Amazing these new cameras we reporters get!  I’m streaming the new 
Star Trek trailer!
  
Alt-Sheppard:  Er…no.  It’s just me.
   
  
Alt-Sheppard:  Mr. Wrinkly Dead Guy here has lots of crazy stuff on him.
  
Alt-Keller:  Well now that I’m here, I’ll make sure he doesn’t anymore.
  
Alt-Sheppard:  Should you really have your hair down like that?
  
Alt-Keller:  We are pretending it’s 
CSI.  All the bimbos have their hair down when examining a dead body.
  
Alt-Sheppard:  You’re a bimbo?
   
  
Alt-Woosley:  Hello, I’m an FBI agent in this universe.
  
Alt-Sheppard:  What do you want?
  
Alt-Woosley:  Nothing.  I’m just here now, so when I pop up later, you’ll know.
   
  
Nurse:  So, are you going to call me later?
  
Alt-Sheppard:  Sorry, I’m into dudes.
  
Nurse:  Okay.  Wait…what?
   
  
Sick Guy:  Damn kids with their damn rock music and their damn punk-hair styles and their –
  
Wraith:  KILL! KILL! KILL!
  
Sick Guy:  And their damn hands that eat people.
   
  
Alt-Sheppard:  Him…I’m going to go follow this guy for no reason other than the fact he lives next to the guy who just died that I don’t know about yet.
   
  
Wraith:  What better way for me to acclimate life on Earth than to become a card shark.  This makes perfect sense for a Wraith!
   
  
Alt-Sheppard:  Thank you for letting me join this high stakes poker game with no questions asked whatsoever.  
  
Wraith:  Ditto.
  
Daniel Craig:  Ditto.
   
  
Wraith:  I win!
  
Sopranos Guy:  Hey!  I want my money back!
  
Wraith:  (SHOVE!)  That’s for the final episode!
   
  
Wraith:  RUN!  RUN!  RUN!
  
Alt-Sheppard:  RUN!  RUN!  RUN!
  
Wraith:  FALL!  FALL!  SPLAT!  RUN!
  
Alt-Sheppard:  WTF?!
   
  
Alt-Woosley:  Come with us.
  
Alt-Sheppard:  Why?
  
Alt-Woosley:  All I can say is that we’ve gone from 
CSIto 
Casino Royale.  Now, prepare for 
The X-Files.
   
  
Alt-McKay:  So, there are aliens and stuff and we know everything about you, including the fact that you’ve never been married.
  
Alt-Sheppard:  Damn Prop 8.
   
  
Alt-Todd:  Blue skies/Purple rain/Deep down/It rains.
  
Alt-McKay:  Oh no.  He’s getting all beatneck on us!  Someone, get him a copy of 
On the Road stat!
  
Alt-Sheppard:  Wait.  Let me write this stuff down!
Alt-McKay:  Why?  It's crap.
    
Alt-Sheppard:  I know, but this junk somehow sells, and I’ll be deemed a poetic genius!
   
  
Alt-Sheppard:  Well thanks for showing me around and everything.  My favorite part was the McKay/Keller ‘ship reference.  I think we need more of those.
  
Alt-McKay:  I agree.
  
Alt-Sheppard:  So, why did you do all this?  Am I needed on some far distant planet or something to stop this guy?
  
Alt-McKay:  No.  I just wanted to be nice.  We are really just going to cut you loose now.
   
  
Alt-Sheppard:  Well, now that my time has been wasted, I think I’ll go reenact the new 
Star Trek trailer again.
   
  
Alt-McKay:  Snide 
Star Trek reference.
  
Alt-Woolsey:  I used to be on 
Star Trek reference.
  
Alt-Zelenka:  I like 
Star Trek reference.  
   
  
Alt-Sheppard:  Hey, I somehow found the trailer the Wraith had!
  
Wraith:  BANG!  BANG!  BANG!
  
Alt-Sheppard:  I’ve been shot!  Damn it.  This was a new shirt.  Now way I’ll be able to return it now!
   
  
Alt-McKay:  Alt-Sheppard told us where the Wraith is!  
  
Fighter Jets:  FIRE!
  
Wraith:  KA-BOOM!
   
  
Alt-McKay:  Whew!  We blew up whatever he was building.
  
Alt-Zelenka:  Wait!  He sent a message to another universe!
  
Alt-McKay:  That seems needlessly complicated.
  
Alt-Zelenka:  Maybe, but it doesn’t look like the Wraith here got the message.
  
Alt-McKay:  All right then!  Screw the other universes, I say!  Who cares about the other guys?
  
Alt-Zelenka:  Also, Alt-Sheppard’s dead.
  
Alt-McKay:  I already said, “Who cares?”
   (The Wraith message travels the multiverse at ludicrous speed.)
The End
     
  ---
   
  Shout out to 
Zeke and 
FiveMinute.net for the concept.