Hocus Pocus Betty Crocus! http://www.bettycrocker.com/products/hamburger-helper
Self-Deprecate!
- Thread starter TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME
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It's a box of pasta with a seasoning packet thing, and you cook up some ground beef in a pan and mix it all together with water (and maybe butter and milk? It's been a reeeeeally long time since I made it) and simmer for a bit. Usually served with 10¢ canned green beans. Sometimes it is cooked without the meat because you can't afford beef, and sometimes it's cooked over the fireplace because mom and dad spent the money on booze and smack and forgot to pay the electricity bill so the electric range doesn't work. It's a great meal for the kids to make 'cause it's really easy, so if mom's in the mental hospital and dad's too drunk to cook, the eight year old can take care of things (as long as her sister is there to put out the fires).
Okay, that sounds more bitter than it actually is, really I'm a bit nostalgic for it right now! Sadly, probably a pretty spot-on definition, though.
Or if Dad wants quick and easy as well as cheap and Daughter can doctor it up. 
^That too.
It's a box of flavored salt, LOTS of salt.
I was in a "situation" today that was SO HUMILIATING that I can't even bring myself to tell you guys what happened. Let's just say even though it was highly embarrassing and insane...I was in my car for a good half hour afterwards, pulled over on the side of the road, because I literally couldn't stop laughing. I think it's good to laugh at oneself.
Then I called my ex-bf since I know he's the only one on the planet who wouldn't judge me and we had a good laugh at my expense.
It was...humiliating...
Then I called my ex-bf since I know he's the only one on the planet who wouldn't judge me and we had a good laugh at my expense.
It was...humiliating...
Was there pee? Exposure?
I didn't do anything against the law.
It was just... humiliating. BUT HYSTERICAL.
It was just... humiliating. BUT HYSTERICAL.
I am terrible at skipping, and for three years at elementary school I had a special tutor who twice a month gave me lessons in how to skip.
I still can't skip properly without really focusing on it.
I still can't skip properly without really focusing on it.
Okay, this happened to me recently ... I misplaced or lost five movie tickets that I bought at a discounted rate from my workplace employee association. 
I ordered them two weeks ago via interoffice mail, and I immediately received them the following day. I vaguely remember putting them in a separate envelope along with my free movie ticket from Regal Cinema; what happened next was a blur to me. I thought I stuffed the envelope in the bag that I carry to work with me every day. I already turned my bag inside out but didn't find the tickets. I searched at home. I combed every square inch of my desk in the office. I e-mailed all my co-workers. No luck.
There are three possible explanations:
I ordered them two weeks ago via interoffice mail, and I immediately received them the following day. I vaguely remember putting them in a separate envelope along with my free movie ticket from Regal Cinema; what happened next was a blur to me. I thought I stuffed the envelope in the bag that I carry to work with me every day. I already turned my bag inside out but didn't find the tickets. I searched at home. I combed every square inch of my desk in the office. I e-mailed all my co-workers. No luck.
There are three possible explanations:
- I accidentally put the envelope in the recycling bin.
- I accidentally put the envelope back in the interoffice mail, eventually to end up in someone else's hands.
- Someone took the envelope from my desk.
I love Hamburger Helper, I'm just too lazy to cook. Even this.
Just to stir up some trouble, that Asian Helper seems like a borderline non PC name.
Hunt's "Manwich" Sloppy Joe sauce is another product name that causes
My mother would serve that to us on occasion. Apart from not tasting that good it was messy as hell.
When my kids are along for the shopping, they often ask where we're supposed to get the Asian meat to make it with. (Given that the other types of Helper are Hamburger, Chicken, and Tuna - each named for the meat they are used for.)Just to stir up some trouble, that Asian Helper seems like a borderline non PC name.
Boom tish.
Back in college, I had brought my station wagon into the football stadium to load up some drums after a marching band practice. This was around 1994, back when the school (Georgia Tech) still had astroturf, before they switched back to real grass a year or two later, so the band was allowed on the actual field at the time. Anyway, I finished loading up the drums, slammed the hatch shut, and got in. Turned the key, and nothing, not even the clicking noise you sometimes get from a low battery. All the electronics were working, but the engine wasn't doing anything.
A lot of my friends there took a look at it, and none of them could figure it out. Now, keep in mind this is a engineering school, full of very intelligent people, and quite a few of them were gearheads as well. But still, no ideas. We couldn't just leave the car inside the stadium. Not just because it would get locked in and likely towed, but there was a football game the next day. So several of us ended up pushing the car to the nearest parking deck, and hope it didn't get towed there either (no parking pass).
Since I had neither the time, money, or expertise to deal with it, my dad came with a trailer and towed it back to my hometown an hour away and took it to a mechanic he knew there. The guy looked at it for a couple of minutes, opened the rear hatch, opened a panel in the side, and pressed a switch that I wasn't even aware of. It started up immediately!
That switch, I came to find out, was an inertia switch. When I slammed the hatch shut, apparently I slammed it a bit too hard and it triggered the switch, which shut off the fuel pump. My mom couldn't stop laughing for days about the fact that dozens of engineers couldn't figure this out!
Thankfully, the mechanic didn't charge us. I guess the laugh was payment enough!
A lot of my friends there took a look at it, and none of them could figure it out. Now, keep in mind this is a engineering school, full of very intelligent people, and quite a few of them were gearheads as well. But still, no ideas. We couldn't just leave the car inside the stadium. Not just because it would get locked in and likely towed, but there was a football game the next day. So several of us ended up pushing the car to the nearest parking deck, and hope it didn't get towed there either (no parking pass).
Since I had neither the time, money, or expertise to deal with it, my dad came with a trailer and towed it back to my hometown an hour away and took it to a mechanic he knew there. The guy looked at it for a couple of minutes, opened the rear hatch, opened a panel in the side, and pressed a switch that I wasn't even aware of. It started up immediately!
That switch, I came to find out, was an inertia switch. When I slammed the hatch shut, apparently I slammed it a bit too hard and it triggered the switch, which shut off the fuel pump. My mom couldn't stop laughing for days about the fact that dozens of engineers couldn't figure this out!
Thankfully, the mechanic didn't charge us. I guess the laugh was payment enough!
I remember on one occasion when I felt the need to pass gas, and ended up saying to myself "that's not air". So in that case, the self-deprecation was a self-defecation. 
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