Screw my life!

[Trekker4747]

Not another Pity-Me thread but just a need to vent.

As some of you may know, 9 years ago the girl I was madly in love with, wanted to marry, and had a deep connection to broke my heart by cheating on me culminating into the ending of our relationship. (And, yeah 9 years is a long time but I've no concept of time, apparently, as it doesn't seem that long ago.)

Anyway, I've moved on from the pain of what has happened and haven't let it bother me for a very long time. I've moved on. No I'm not in a relationship right now, no I'm not pursuing a relationship right now, but whatever. I don't care.

Anyway it seems that The Powers That Be are intent on fucking me over again and again by continually thrusting her back into my life. A couple years ago it was a chance meeting at the mall, before that her coming in to talk with me at work apparently intent on getting back together, etc. I rebuffed all encounters.

Today? This girl whom I've not spoken to in years contacts me on Facebook to wish me happy birthday and to "friend" me. Groan

All it does is just bring up memories and emotions I've suppressed, cast doubts in my mind over what happened and what I did to cause it and just how lost and f'd up my life is right now. She's married and has two kids. She knows what she did to me and the few times we talked in the intervening time I gave her the coldest shoulder I could. But she still keeps looping back into my life like a Haley's Comet of misery.

It makes me want and desire for more and for what I've lost and then I realize I'm too weak to make any goddamn changes.

Why is it so hard for me to go up to that girl I'm interested in at work and simply ask her to a dinner? She chats with me, seems mostly receptive but I lack enough "push" in me to do anything. The times in the past when I have asked women out I've been spurned, rejected. I've no confidence and once you ask someone out, in my mind, that's out there and damages whatever relationship already exists.

What the fuck. I'm good and happy and then this bitch comes along and makes my head spin because I've got more emotional problems in me than a menopausal mental patient.

So, sorry. Had to vent. Not looking for sympathies, not a woe as me, this is just me venting and unloading. I suspect some (re: Scout) will be along shortly to continue to kick me in the balls like God chooses to do every damn day of my life.

 

[Kemaiku]

STFU and get over, seriously.

 

[Colonel Green]

How is this NOT another pity me thread? If you just want to vent, why do it to people who you know are sick of hearing it? Do you get off on abuse?

 

[Robert Maxwell]

There are people who make my blood boil at the mere sight or mention of their names but this is probably the last place I'd vent about it, especially if I had a history like yours, Trekker.

Some people are just assholes. Suck it up and deal.

 

[captcalhoun]

i've got to admit, i do love the bit about she keeps coming back like a 'Halley's Comet of misery'.

 

[TheBrew]

I say friend her, seduce her and then try and force her to divorce her husband and dump the kids on him.

 

[ManOnTheWave]

Wow. She tried to friend you on Facebook? That's terrible. The last time I saw my ex, she was sucking a guy's dick in a titty bar. Get over it.

 

[Finn]

Does she know she meant that much to you back then?

 

[Colonel Green]

To be honest I just skimmed over your OP Trekker, and maybe I was too harsh. While I am fully sick of listening to you bitch, in truth I can really sympathize with your situation. I spent years pining over "the one who got away", and was too damn shy to make a move on any girl, even ones who in retrospect were clearly interested. Forget her, move on.

Try not to build things up (like asking a girl out) so much in your mind. Imagine that you are the coolest guy in the world. What HE do if he liked a girl? He'd probably wait until they were getting off at the same time and ask her if she wanted to grab a beer. She says no? Her loss. She says "another time"? Ask another time.

What's the worst that's gonna happen? Are you aware of anyone at your workplace who has become a complete laughingstock because he asked a girl if she wanted to grab a beer?

 

[iguana_tonante]

I say friend her, seduce her and then try and force her to divorce her husband and dump the kids on him.

I say seduce her husband and make her try the bitter taste of vendetta!

Or grow a pair and get over it. Which is more convenient.

 

[TheBrew]

I say seduce her husband and make her try the bitter taste of vendetta!

Or grow a pair and get over it. Which is more convenient.

How about we combine both ideas and he can seduce them both?

As Trekker, he can sweep her off her feet.

As Trekkina, he can make her husband give it to his lust.

Then when it is time to engage in the tryst, he can invite them both to same seedy motel room at the same time.

 

[Scout101]

I suspect some (re: Scout) will be along shortly to continue to kick me in the balls

Out of curiosity, at what point does calling someone out specifically like that become trolling/baiting?

As for the rest of the post? What's the point? You've 'vented' about this problem so many times that many of us can tell the story as well as you can at this point. You've been given encouragement, suggestions on what to do, given it plenty of time, been talked into dating sites, etc. Rather than even bother to give any recycled advice, which you'll just apparently ignore and then call people out for later, why don't you just re-read your last few pity-party threads on this (and similar) topics, and consider that advice re-issued? Shouldn't be hard to find one...

 

[Roger Wilco]

I say friend her, seduce her and then try and force her to divorce her husband and dump the kids on him.

No, just make a sex tape and send it to her husband. Or put it on the internet.

 

[Colonel Green]

Oh, I forgot! As far as you ex goes, if it seems like she wants to get back together, GO FOR IT.

By which I mean lead her on, sleep with her and then immediately kick her to the curb. Give her a taste of her own medicine, I promise that it'll do WONDERS for your self-esteem.

 

[iguana_tonante]

How about we combine both ideas and he can seduce them both?

As Trekker, he can sweep her off her feet.

As Trekkina, he can make her husband give it to his lust.

Then when it is time to engage in the tryst, he can invite them both to same seedy motel room at the same time.

The drama!

 

[Mr Awe]

Anyway, I've moved on from the pain of what has happened

No, it appears that you haven't.

No I'm not in a relationship right now, no I'm not pursuing a relationship right now, but whatever. I don't care.

You may not be pursuing a relationship right now, but you desperately want one. Therein, lies part of the problem, a continual lack of action.

Anyway it seems that The Powers That Be are intent on fucking me over again and again by continually thrusting her back into my life. A couple years ago it was a chance meeting at the mall, before that her coming in to talk with me at work apparently intent on getting back together, etc. I rebuffed all encounters.

Today? This girl whom I've not spoken to in years contacts me on Facebook to wish me happy birthday and to "friend" me. Groan

I'm actually surprised by this. I figured she was getting bored with your loner, inactive lifestyle, and had a fling to spice things up. Not sure why she wants to be back in touch. Ah well, time makes things from the past look better than they were.

But she still keeps looping back into my life like a Haley's Comet of misery.

LOVE this line!

I've no confidence and once you ask someone out, in my mind, that's out there and damages whatever relationship already exists.

Some times you just have to say, "fuck it!" Really, all you'd potentially lose with the girl at work is a random chat here and there. Big deal.

What the fuck. I'm good and happy and then this bitch comes along and makes my head spin because I've got more emotional problems in me than a menopausal mental patient.

No, it doesn't appear that you were good and happy before she came along. And, don't go blaming her for you being miserable. You had 9 years to get past her and find someone else. Or, at least plenty of time to make a life for yourself that was interesting enough for you to get past her. *YOU* haven't done that.

I suspect some (re: Scout) will be along shortly to continue to kick me in the balls like God chooses to do every damn day of my life.

I'm not Scout, nor am I kicking you. But, shoot man, wake the frick up! You're sleep walking your way through your life. Do you want to be like this when you are 40, 50, 60, etc? You're on that course right now. You can change things though. But, only you can do that.

Mr Awe

 

[Garak]

kick me in the balls like God chooses to do every damn day of my life.

Didn't you have a tumor in your head that got removed and you're pretty much recovered from that?

Seems like you got a second chance man that some people don't get, take a hold of it.

Worrying about some haggard old bitch with kids you knew 9 years ago befriending you on Facebook is pretty fucking lame. It makes me think you have a doll made out of her hair somewhere.

 

[Trekker4747]

kick me in the balls like God chooses to do every damn day of my life.

Didn't you have a tumor in your head that got removed and you're pretty much recovered from that?

Seems like you got a second chance man that some people don't get, take a hold of it.

Worrying about some haggard old bitch with kids you knew 9 years ago befriending you on Facebook is pretty fucking lame. It makes me think you have a doll made out of her hair somewhere.

The tumor is still there and currently being managed by medication but lord knows what it's "really doing" to me.

And I don't care so much about her contacting me on FB (as I've not responded to the request and will never approve nor reject it) but it's just fascinating to me that on the spur of things she decides to contact me again after a three years of no contact. We've some FB friends in common but for her to message me a birthday wish she'd have to pretty much actively seek me out and send me the message. After years of no contact.

Why? What the fuck? I've made my intentions quite clear to her. I want nothing to do with her. And she was much more than a fling, I had loved her and confided in her more than I have my parents, my best friends or anyone I've ever known. It was real, love. We had plans to marry and then she cheated on me. Twice, in fact.

I have moved on because I don't give a shit about her, I do not miss her. At the same time I do not feel I can find the same connections with someone else and all other attempts to date someone else have either been rejected or fell-through. It's the shit-fuck that's my life but I'm living and dealing with it. At the same time I need to vent at times and, sorry, this is the best way I have to do that.

Don't like it, put me on Ignore.

If anyone is making dolls out of hair out of the other it's her out of me since she's the one contacting me and not the other way around.

 

[Garak]

Oh, my bad - good luck with that.

Well then all the more reason to live life and spare us from these threads.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

kick me in the balls like God chooses to do every damn day of my life.

Didn't you have a tumor in your head that got removed and you're pretty much recovered from that?

Seems like you got a second chance man that some people don't get, take a hold of it.

Worrying about some haggard old bitch with kids you knew 9 years ago befriending you on Facebook is pretty fucking lame. It makes me think you have a doll made out of her hair somewhere.

The tumor is still there and currently being managed by medication but lord knows what it's "really doing" to me.

Shouldn't the fact that you have a tumor in your head that may or may not be slowly killing you compel you to, I dunno, make the most of your life?