So, men need to listen carefully to what women are saying in order to understand them while women already perfectly understand men?
I don't think men struggle to get their voices heard, you know? Despite all the MRA victim rhetoric we hear so much, we're still living in a society that is dominated by a male narrative. You don't realize that because you probably think that the "standard narrative" is just some gender-neutral one. It is not.
The male narrative is what's been dominant in societies for centuries. The whole point of feminism is to get the female narrative heard for a change. We struggle so much to get our voices heard BECAUSE our voices clash with the dominant narrative. People (mostly men) really struggle to understand us because it goes against their own experiences of male privilege that have shaped the male-dominated discourse.
Women are still struggling to be heard in that discourse. Men have nothing to worry about in that regard. You're still more influential, more powerful, louder and more established.
Of course that also does not mean we should stop listening to men. And I don't see any feminists suggesting that. We want gender equality, not the rule of matriarchy (Hey, it might be fun, though. I could drown all my male enemies in my menstrual blood.)
The point is the male narrative of why men feel they need to catcall women or harass them is something we reject. Agency, my dear. It's like a magic word. The only thing women want is to be treated as human beings with agency. I don't see men having that same problem systemically.
If in doubt, read my long post about privilege again. I'm sure you won't argue with that.
If there is one thing we can be absolutely sure of it is this:
The voices of straight white men are not underrepresented in discourse.
And to claim anything else will just net you a lot of eye-rolling here.
It is the same as complaining "Why is nobody listening to white people????" when it's really the voices of black people we need to listen to more. Oppressed groups struggle to get their voices heard, dominant groups do not. What's next? "Why's nobody listening to straight people"?
Straight male whitey is getting heard all the time.
What if these boyfriends were men that you yourself were attracted to? Would you care then?
I can't tell if you're serious, honestly.
I accept that it is not for me to decide who anybody else should be attracted to. Which means it doesn't "drive me mad" as you put it.
It's sad to be rejected, sure. But I would never assume that the guy just doesn't get that I'm the correct partner instead. What kind of bizarre thinking is that?
Like I said it's possible to realize that somebody you're attracted to is in a horrible abusive relationship with a jerk partner. But even then that doesn't mean that you specifically are really the person they should be with instead. If there's no attraction, there's no attraction.
Simply not being an asshole like their current partner doesn't mean you're Mr. Right. There are millions of non-assholes out there so that doesn't make you special. Who knows who she's attracted to.