When I was more into Marxism, I saw oppression everywhere, and was constantly made hostile/depressed by what I saw.
Well, oppression does exist everywhere, but being constantly hostile does nothing except burn you and the people you love.
On the other hand, unrelenting agitation is pretty much the only way anything gets changed.
@{ Emilia } 's post is very good, but maybe you'll discount what she says because she's a woman. She must be biased, right? Of course a woman would favor feminism, since feminism favors women ("over men" seems to be implicit reading)! So I will approach this from a male perspective.
Feminism (which I sympathise with, but see as just one part of a larger problem), in some of it's forms also encourages people to see nothing but hostility everywhere (those forms which are similar to Marxism, seeing all problems as part of a compound social problem - patriachy, as opposed to capitalism). I think thats what people are trying to perhaps articulate when they say things like "the nuLeft leads to alienation". Doesn't mean Marx or Simone de Beuvoir or whoever were wrong in their analysis - it perhaps means the fault lies in ourselves, for being too totalitarian in our application of the ideas sometimes. Right wing ideas also lead to alienation of course, when applied the same way; so I certainly don't support the idea that this is unique to the left.
What I see here is you acknowledging that there is a real problem (sexism/misogyny), but then dismissing the means people have chosen for combating it while offering nothing yourself. How is that helpful?
I would say that if your response to being confronted with the reality of sexism is to feel alienated and disengage, then you aren't helping solve the problem.
What I've noticed is that there is increasing levels of misandry here in the UK, which is no better than misogyny, and does not solve the other - just compounds it with more prejudice.
This is not true, and I think you are confusing structural issues with individual opinions.
Can a woman hate men? Absolutely! I have no doubt that man-hating women exist.
Do women have the power to weave that animosity throughout the culture and political system such that men are systemically oppressed, denied countless opportunities and rights that women are entitled to? Absolutely not. And this is the key difference.
Encountering a woman who doesn't like men and takes it out on you must suck, no doubt. But she is not backed by a system that will take that dislike and use it to ruin your life, in both subtle and explicit ways.
You say misandry is a problem, and yet you could rape that man-hating woman and you have a good chance of facing no punishment at all, especially if you can describe circumstances such that it makes her look responsible and you look sympathetic.
Was she drunk? Was she dressed provocatively? Was she alone at night?
Are you young? Are you academically accomplished? Athletic? Attractive? Wealthy?
Check enough of these boxes and hey, it's your get-out-of-jail-free card. That doesn't seem very misandrist, does it? It's definitely not the man getting a raw deal in this hypothetical (which is not all that hypothetical if you start looking at actual rape cases).
I personally have always been sympathetic to feminism, without even knowing it, just because it never occurred to me that complete equality of gender was anything but desirable and logical - it never occurred to me that masculine bluster was anything but a relic of medieval culture - or that women could pursue aggressive careers such as the military - I grew up with Star Trek, in which alien species are equal, never mind minor phenotypical differences within the human race. I go around these days and hear casual statements about men, which if you substituted a work like "nigger" or "Jews" into in place of "men", would rightly never be said:
"Men are the cause of all the world's problems."
"Men are all violent."
"Men are incapable of loyalty."
"Men want a free ride."
I will point out that being able to go so long without thinking about this sort of issue is
itself privilege. We men have the luxury of talking about these things academically, of checking out of the conversation when we're tired of arguing, of just plain not worrying about it if we don't want to, because we're not women and we don't have to live with the consequences of existing in a sexist society the way women do. But just because women suffer the vast majority of the negative effects doesn't mean it is a problem solely or mostly for women to solve. Men created this society of male dominance and female oppression. It's on us to unmake it.
I'm someone who suffers social anxiety, and depression, which has effected my life negatively; I'm extremely shy. When I hear things like that I feel dispair. Frankly, I have a hard time looking after myself. I live at home. In the current climate this will likely be seen as an example of male laziness or male priviledge rather than a diagnosed disability. Doesn't matter that I'm nice to people, and try to be consciencious and think of my community. Popular song lyrics and ideas denounce men - one who is unemployed or mentally ill is a 'scrub' - and don't forget mental illness is usually invisible and unemployment usually an unpreventable process. I read an editorial in a major newspaper the other day about Brexit, saying that "women are always consigned to pick up the mess, when men are done (in reference to our new female prime minister)" - the kind of language I've heard time and again in papers, since I read a lot of left-wing papers with feminist columnists. Although her defence of the unemployed over the years has been admirable, someone in the centrist pro-Labour New Statesman has done this before.
This is another one of those hallmarks of male privilege I've noticed: thinking every statement about "men" is specifically about
you. It's not. If you aren't doing the things being criticized, don't worry about it. It's not directed at you. I've also literally never heard the word "scrub" used to describe someone who is mentally ill. In no way is feminism telling you "you're sexist because you're mentally ill and unemployed," or anything of the sort. I would suggest you avoid reading into things that aren't directed at or about you.
Maybe you could argue men are as much victims of patriarchy as women? Ala Mad Max.
Men are victimized by patriarchy, but there are a few key differences:
1. Men benefit dramatically from it, too.
2. Women feel the vast majority of the negative effects.
3. Men created it in the first place, and have almost all the power to unravel it.
If your response is essentially, "I agree sexism is bad but some women are mean about it so I won't bother doing anything," maybe you should ask yourself just how much of an equality-minded person you truly are. "Some people are mean" is hardly a reason to avoid standing up for what's right, wouldn't you agree?
I personally feel that our problems are bigger than any one issue like racism or sexism - that they are symptoms, but not the cause. A lot of problems, including I feel, gender relations, are linked to the economy, and to want of survival - if men and women didn't have to compete to survive, and didn't get sold gender-baiting sexist material by a media in search of sales, I think our division would be less apparent. But even capitalism, ultimatly, would be nicer, if human beings were just more considerate of each other - and that is something that may not be any system's fault, but our own.
This is another common tactic by people who are uncomfortable talking about an issue like this--expand it or redirect it to some other topic that's more comfortable to talk about. I don't suspect any malice in your use of it here. You seem like a reasonably well-meaning person. But I hope you can understand that it's kind of insulting to take a discussion about sexism, specifically, and decide that's not the
real issue and insist we talk about something else.
Calls for civility are also typically used as a means to quash dissent, because calmly-presented arguments are less disquieting to the listener and much easier to dismiss. Believe me, women have been making very calm, very rational arguments against sexism for a long, long time. But all you're talking about here are mean straw feminists who just hate men for no reason. Again, don't you find that a little disingenuous and insulting? If you hate being stereotyped based on the absolute worst qualities of your gender, why in the world would you turn right around and use the same tactic on women?
I am asking you to take a harder look at what you are saying and why.
