Ruler of the World thread

[RJDiogenes]

unfortunately, Ice, you were had. those were dummy silos you bombed and your fighters were destroyed returning home.

I have issued orders to go to Defcon 1 and am now launching ballistic missiles on Super New England, New York, Mexico, Florida, the Ukraine, Seattle, Kazakhstan, the CEC, CRU and the Antarctic. Super New England's pathetic defences were neutralised by my special ops commandos and my AL-52s are airborne, using our laser-fission boosted plasma cannons to destroy any incoming missiles.

my EB2s, EB52s and EB1s are already being deployed against REA forces in Texas.

Your F22s and F/A-18s don't stand a chance against my UMF-3 StealthHawks or my UMF-1 FlightHawk UCAVs.

you might as well surrender now.


and don't bother trying to bomb me. I'm not even in the CONUS any more.

Blah blah blah. Sounds like that was copy and pasted from a Tom Clancy novel or something. All your planes and missiles were either swallowed up by our Micro Black Hole Swarms or bounced into a high ballistic orbit by our force shields. Our Android Army was mobilized to forcibly occupy your territories, but since Ice nuked you back to the Stone Age, they're just providing aid to the survivors and taking care of pets that were left homeless. Troops will be rotated periodically between humanitarian operations in the nuclear wasteland and providing a destabilizing influence at the World Party in progress.

OH, alright. i didn't want to have to do it.

now, i will deploy my ULTIMATE WEAPON!!!!

THE REALITY BOMB!!!!! NOT EVEN THE DOCTOR CAN SAVE YOU NOW!!!!!!!!!!

you're dead! you're all dead, you hear me?!?! and the world with it!!!!!

AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have you confused your military with a Wii game or something?

We would also like to establish an embassy in your lands. RJD and MLB, we'd also like to establish embassies in Super New England and New York as well.

Done. I've set aside a nice Victorian Townhouse for you on lower Beacon Street; it's a former B&B and a short walk to Cheers.

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

Can i make Cheers my empire's official embassy?

 

[RJDiogenes]

Well, there's a restaurant and some other stuff upstairs that we can convert to your Embassy, but I'd rather leave the bar as is.

 

[Miss Chicken]

I have finished building my hotel on Asteroid Johncleese. Anyone want to make a booking?

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

That sounds like it would be an amazing time. Sign me up!

Eh just set me up with some nice digs somewhere within walking, or ... stumbling distance of the bar, and i'll be fine.

 

[RJDiogenes]

^^ In Boston, all you'll have to do is fall down the stairs.

Can the Super New England set up a permanent suite on Asteroid Johncleese?

 

[Miss Chicken]

^^ In Boston, all you'll have to do is fall down the stairs.

Can the Super New England set up a permanent suite on Asteroid Johncleese?

You may, if you are willing to put up with the hotel's standard of service.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Sure, I'm pretty easy to get along with; I once stayed at a motel in Kissimmee and was happy.

 

[Captain Ice]

I will take a booking, Miss Chicken. What do you have open for November? The REASEA has also asked me to inquire about docking facilities/landing facilities on Johncleese. We are also interested in purchasing a permanent suite.

RJD, we've set aside a nice, restored Victorian mansion in the French Quarter of New Orleans a block or two from the Mexican Empire embassy. I'm told it served as a model for the building that houses the entrance to the Haunted Mansion ride in New Orleans Square at Disneyland. We cannot verify this though.

 

[Miss Chicken]

I little about Hotel Johncleese.

Manuel is not from Barcelona but from Mars. He has a Martian accent and only knows a few words of English.

Manuel's pet is not a hamster, nor a rat, it is a Targ.

No-one is to mention THE WAR - any war - while in the hotel.

 

[AstroSmurf]

Book me Miss C! I am rolling in with Keane and Prince Charles. Hopefully you have a suite available for me and the boys. Something with a view of Jupiter would be nice.

And what's with all the fighting? You haven't been shooting at England or its sovereign territories have you? You see I haven't been paying attention to BBCat News for the last couple of days. I have been watching an EastEnders marathon on Channel 4. (Did you know that Jack made another baby? They must not sell condoms on that side of Chickdon.)

 

[TheGodBen]

I have finished building my hotel on Asteroid Johncleese. Anyone want to make a booking?

I'll wait for Michael Palin to visit it on one of his travel series and see what he has to say.

 

[MetalPants]

We will be happy to. I sense another party coming!

Why go to all that planning when we can just extend the current party. Additional supplies of rum and JD are winging their way to us right now.

We would also like to establish an embassy in your lands. RJD and MLB, we'd also like to establish embassies in Super New England and New York as well.

McBundy, any ideas regarding how the lands formerly controlled by calhoun should be divided? We need to get started on reconstruction. I think the first thing we should do is return Oklahoma and the four counties in Texas to Metalpants' control with only a requirement that he sign a peace treaty with us and open trade talks.

That sounds fine. What other territory did calhoun control? I really need an updated map.

Not a problem! Let the era of peace and prosperity begin! My only concern is that I am going to institute a small transit fee for any goods crossing my North American lands. This fee shal go 100% to helping recovery efforts from the war, and then to help house and feed homeless cats around the world -in the name of Miss Chicken the Wise.

 

[Captain Ice]

Not a problem. The REA United Way will also pitch in and give you a hand. Right now they're trying to coordinate relief supplies for that entire area with their counterparts from the Mexican Empire. Contact either of those groups and I'm pretty sure they'll help you coordinate relief supplies for your areas as well.

 

[RJDiogenes]

RJD, we've set aside a nice, restored Victorian mansion in the French Quarter of New Orleans a block or two from the Mexican Empire embassy. I'm told it served as a model for the building that houses the entrance to the Haunted Mansion ride in New Orleans Square at Disneyland. We cannot verify this though.

Sweet. I look forward to visiting the Big Easy. Son of a gun, gonna have big fun on the Bayou.

 

[Thor Damar]

Book me Miss C! I am rolling in with Keane and Prince Charles. Hopefully you have a suite available for me and the boys. Something with a view of Jupiter would be nice.

And what's with all the fighting? You haven't been shooting at England or its sovereign territories have you? You see I haven't been paying attention to BBCat News for the last couple of days. I have been watching an EastEnders marathon on Channel 4. (Did you know that Jack made another baby? They must not sell condoms on that side of Chickdon.)

Nah, our islands remained unaffected by this little war. BTW, EastEnders on Channel 4. Just what is going on with you Sassenachs anyway?

 

[AstroSmurf]

I thought it would be funny to switch around some shows. No one would expect EastEnders on Channel 4.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

I thought it would be funny to switch around some shows. No one would expect EastEnders on Channel 4.

Fiendish, AstroSmurf, fiendish...

 

[Captain Ice]

I thought it would be funny to switch around some shows. No one would expect EastEnders on Channel 4.

Nice, young padawan. Well you are learning the ways of evil.

 

[ShamelessMcBundy]

The British are evil, yes.