"Relics" Line-by-Line

[retroenzo]

SCOTT: Oh, laddie, you've got a lot to learn if you want people to think of you as a miracle worker. Now listen...

 

[Athena28]

LAFORGE: Captain Scott. I've tried to be patient, I've tried to be polite. But I've got a job to do here, and quite frankly, you're in the way.

 

[Orac]

Scotty: I was driving starships while your great-grandfather was still in diapers. I'd think you'd be a little grateful for a some help. I'll leave ye to work, Mister La Forge.

 

[mattman8907]

[Ten Forward]

WAITER: May I help you, sir?

 

[retroenzo]

SCOTT: Aye, lad. Scotch, neat.

 

[Orac]

Waiter: There you go, sir.

 

[mattman8907]

SCOTT: Thank you.
(takes a drink)
SCOTT: What in blazes is this?

 

[Orac]

Waiter: Didn't you order Scotch?

 

[retroenzo]

SCOTT: Laddie, I was drinking Scotch a hundred years before you were born and I can tell you that whatever this is, it is definitely not Scotch.

 

[Athena28]

DATA: I believe I may be of some assistance. Captain Scott is unaware of the existence of synthehol.

 

[Orac]

Scotty: Synthehol?

 

[mattman8907]

DATA: Yes, sir. It is an alcohol substitute now being served aboard starships. It simulates the appearance, taste and smell of alcohol, but the intoxicating affects can be easily dismissed.

 

[Iamnotspock]

SCOTTY: You're not quite, uh, human are you.

 

[Orac]

Data: No, sir. I am an android. Lieutenant Commander Data.

 

[mattman8907]

SCOTT: Synthetic Scotch, synthetic commanders.

 

[retroenzo]

DATA: I believe Guinan does keep a limited supply of non-syntheholic products. Perhaps one of them would be to your liking.
(Data goes behind the bar and comes out with a bottle)

 

[Orac]

Scotty: What is it?

 

[P Tom]

DATA: It is (looks at bottle) It is (sniffs contents) It is green.

 

[Leandar]

(Scotty drinks it)

Scotty: Ah!

 

[retroenzo]

[Corridor]
(bottle and glass in hand, Scott walks carefully to the holodeck)
COMPUTER: Please enter programme.