Yes well for those of us who have social anxiety issues fantasy is less stressful.
Real life vs fantasy
- Thread starter ria 75
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So is that more like a reluctant romantic Ria? Because you feel fragile? That a broken heart could be fatal for you? Just like in Romeo and Juliet
If so, I see why you like fantasy. 
I haven't decided yet how to take this...
With a spoonful of sugar, as with all my posts.
And sorry, no real cash on offer. Only TrekBBSdollars. Exchangeable for instant notoriety anyplace Trekkies congregate.
Honestly, my mistrust is about life experiences in general. I've been conned out of a little money when I was younger. I have trusted people who weren't worthy of trust.So is that more like a reluctant romantic Ria? Because you feel fragile? That a broken heart could be fatal for you? Just like in Romeo and Juliet
But when I started making online contacts with the dating service, at first, I gave an e-mail address with my real name in it. And my service profile has my city name on it. So all they had to do to find my address was to check the phone book. I created a ria 75 e-mail account, which I should have done at once. Who knows, I may already be the target of a total creep.
Reluctant romantic? Perhaps. I wish I could be just rational but that's not the way it works. You can't choose who you love. And you have to really love who you're with. Or you end up a divorcee with a couple of young children.
What does a broken heart do to me? I have good recuperative powers and I've exposed myself so little to relationships that I've never been dumped. I've had my heart broken a couple of times by guys who said, "I just want to be your friend". Never thought the words "Your friendship makes me happy" would hurt that much. That was 12 years ago. I've never been so madly in love since. The only guy I really cared about since then... I was so paralysed I could never tell him how I felt.
And he fell out of the picture. That was many years ago too.I've protected myself. I've kept my eyes cast down. I've been satisfactorily lonesome... with fantasies. I don't need many friends, I don't go out much except with relatives, so I haven't been very exposed to encounters. Family weddings? Forget about it, it didn't work for me. Work colleagues? already taken (not a good men-women ratio in my profession). Co-workers of different professions? horny dogs who aren't a good match. Chance encounters? As if I'm going to give my number to a stranger! And those who give me theirs I don't want to call.
For the record, I am not broken-hearted now. Certainly not about GI Joe. As I'd pointed out, I haven't had a chance to form an attachment.
I couldn't be more available... although I'm giving myself a little time before trying the dating service thing again.
I guess that's something.
(You didn't think I was serious, did you?)
Do you think you're more into the unrequited love thing? So that if someone is interested in you, it immediately guarantees your own loss of interest? I used to have a friend who was like this, so I'm familiar with the condition!
What's your beef with not giving out your number? When I used to go on dates, this was the chief way that it happened. If you click with someone, and you want to continue, why not? If it's a mobile number, it's a relatively safe process, as you haven't given your address or anything like that. Plus, if it goes sour, you can just screen their calls (after politely telling them it's not going anywhere, of course). Then, if it's going well, you can go on a date, in a public space where you feel safe. It's not anymore risky than your dating wesite, surely. It's also more spontaneous and fun, I imagine.
I paradoxaly (pretty sure I mispelt that) enough prefer reality. Why paradoxaly? Because I'm terrible at reality romance! I can never communicate my feelings properly at all.How do you like your romance?
Absentees easily seem perfect, whether they be totally unreal or a partner in a long-distance relationship - and everything in between, like online only long-distance sweethearts.
It's hard to confront those dreams with reality. Do you prefer your love interest real? How do you reconcile the usual fantasy with real life? How does one let real life win? It's so much more trouble...
I guess it stems down to the fact that my last serious relationship was a long-distance relationship that grew out of an internet friendship. And it just went to hell so badly. Not so much when I met her, but when I finally found out how she really was like. If I'd learnt to know her IRL first that might've not happened.
No, definetly reality, someone close by and there to touch. Both because physical contact is very underrated and because it just leaves less room for misunderstanding and untruths.
As for reconciling the fantasy with reality even if ones intrest is close by...be sure to get back to you on that one when I've had a succesful and at least somewhat healthy relationship.
I most definetly sympathise with the "just friends line" since it's the one most common told to me, with a few versions of it. My problem is that I'm the nice guy, the safe guy, the dependable and caring guy, and thus the unintresting guy.What does a broken heart do to me? I have good recuperative powers and I've exposed myself so little to relationships that I've never been dumped. I've had my heart broken a couple of times by guys who said, "I just want to be your friend". Never thought the words "Your friendship makes me happy" would hurt that much. That was 12 years ago. I've never been so madly in love since. The only guy I really cared about since then... I was so paralysed I could never tell him how I felt.
As for getting your heart broken...oh yeah definetly done that. Took me two year to get over last time. But that is one story I am not inclined to tell again right now.
Ayup. Welcome to the club btw, we have t-shirt and meetings where we sit in a corner each in the meeting room for two hours and try to not look at each other.
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No, it isn't like that at all! It's just that the type of guys who are bold enough to hit on me in public transportantion are not interesting enough.
I believe in the saying, "We love who loves us", to a certain extent. If someone decent is interested in me, I'll give them a chance. Just like when a stranger talks to me, even if it is going to invite unwanted attention, I reply because I'm polite. I try not to ignore anybody's attention.
If I'm already clicking, of course, my dear. I was talking about sleazy strangers, outside of any social circles.
Not all strangers are sleazy, look at Shameless. 
Well I'm talking about the sleazy ones.
Although I once met a guy on the street who would become a very good friend of mine. He was just wandering, bored to tears with a beer can in his hand. He asked for a cigarette and a light. (I smoked a bit in my college years.) That was just a pretext. He had the stuff.
He asked me where I was coming from or something, so it was fair game for me to tell the truth: I had just seen a lesbian movie with my girl friend (I think it was that Canadian movie When Night is Falling). Stayed ambiguous for precaution. We went to a bar and got acquainted. It didn't hurt that he looked like Brad Pitt. Months later, tired of the cutie long hair look, he got a haircut and looked even more like Brad Pitt.
Too bad he moved away and never wrote.
Although I once met a guy on the street who would become a very good friend of mine. He was just wandering, bored to tears with a beer can in his hand. He asked for a cigarette and a light. (I smoked a bit in my college years.) That was just a pretext. He had the stuff.
He asked me where I was coming from or something, so it was fair game for me to tell the truth: I had just seen a lesbian movie with my girl friend (I think it was that Canadian movie When Night is Falling). Stayed ambiguous for precaution. We went to a bar and got acquainted. It didn't hurt that he looked like Brad Pitt. Months later, tired of the cutie long hair look, he got a haircut and looked even more like Brad Pitt.
Too bad he moved away and never wrote.
I honestly never had to fantasize much, I know if I were single even now I could probably line up 4-5 dates for the week in a night. I guess maybe that's why I don't really get why anyone would be interested in fantasy over reality. Dreams only get you so far.
RAMA
Being able to get dates is not the problem. It's finding one who meets your standards.
I'm not interested in going on a date with any given guy, I prefer to stay at home.
Well I'm a guy.
RAMA
I don't believe you have that!!
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