Real life vs fantasy

[An Officer]

Plenty of psychopaths out there, and most are pretty tricky to spot!

You sure know how to put people at ease!

 

[Holdfast]

Some studies suggest they're about 1% of the population, depending on how exactly you define them. Most are able to move through life fairly OK (again, depending on how you define OK) and may not be necessarily (physically) violent. A minority have mild enough traits that they tend to do rather well in life!

 

[An Officer]

^ Such delightful bedtime stories you have...

 

[ria 75]

Not that I would want him to lurk here now , but he can't understand this (recent) part of my life...

We need to send him the link...

For the first time, I am really thankful he doesn't have much English.

Perhaps, also, defreezing the digital [heart] can help defreezing the real one. (Not necessarily to the benefit of the same person. )

Defrosting hearts is a lot like defrosting the freezer. Sure, things are a lot cleaner and more efficient afterwards but it takes forever, tends to be messy and there's a whole load of crap that you end up having to eat and digest or just throw away before it goes off.

Damn, I'm rather proud of that. I should print it off and put it up in my office at work to scare the patients...

Thanks for the lovely image! I am familiar with the temptation of continuing a metaphor, but it's still a bit dodgy.

Some studies suggest [psychopaths are] about 1% of the population, depending on how exactly you define them. Most are able to move through life fairly OK (again, depending on how you define OK) and may not be necessarily (physically) violent. A minority have mild enough traits that they tend to do rather well in life!

I think I am going to prentend I never read that. Between my ostrich side and my paranoid side, I will choose the one that brings me peace of mind.

 

[RAMA]

How do you like your romance?

Absentees easily seem perfect, whether they be totally unreal or a partner in a long-distance relationship - and everything in between, like online only long-distance sweethearts.

It's hard to confront those dreams with reality. Do you prefer your love interest real? How do you reconcile the usual fantasy with real life? How does one let real life win? It's so much more trouble...

I honestly don't understand this question???

Do you prefer your love interest real?

What else would anyone want for romance/love/sex?

RAMA

 

[ria 75]

^ Some of us have powerful imaginations. It keeps us company. Fiction-derived imaginary, or long-distance, love interests are much less likely to hurt us.
Many of us here, on a nerdy board, shrink from real life interactions. Either our standards are too high or our self-esteems are too low.
Or we really want to simplify our lives. We find satisfaction in being alone. But we do more or less dream of love.

 

[RAMA]

^ Some of us have powerful imaginations. It keeps us company. Fiction-derived imaginary, or long-distance, love interests are much less likely to hurt us.
Many of us here, on a nerdy board, shrink from real life interactions. Either our standards are too high or our self-esteems are too low.
Or we really want to simplify our lives. We find satisfaction in being alone. But we do more or less dream of love.

Hmm, well I read more of the thread after my post. I think I understood what you meant a little bit better. I've had 2 long distance relationships, one lasted 2 weeks before I met her and one--many years ago--that lasted about a year before we met. Yes there was a lot of fantasy material involved beforehand but I honestly couldn't imagine that being preferable to the actual meeting and resulting deepening of the relationship.

I don't think basing meeting someone on whether the person is more likely to hurt us or not is the best way to go into a relationship.

RAMA

 

[ria 75]

Hmm, well I read more of the thread after my post. I think I understood what you meant a little bit better. I've had 2 long distance relationships, one lasted 2 weeks before I met her and one--many years ago--that lasted about a year before we met. Yes there was a lot of fantasy material involved beforehand but I honestly couldn't imagine that being preferable to the actual meeting and resulting deepening of the relationship.

If you have no doubt whatsoever that actually meeting the person will result in deepening the relationship and not put an end to it for discovering incompatibilities that didn't show at a distance, then sure. I'm all for going through those 3 steps: 1) Liking someone online. (Or meeting them briefly.) 2) Getting acquainted in writing. 3) Meeting up soon enough so as to put Humpty-Dumpty back together (about how you know someone).

I don't think basing meeting someone on whether the person is more likely to hurt us or not is the best way to go into a relationship.

Just speaking in general. I won't write you a whole essay at 4am. Your post threw me off a bit.

 

[RAMA]

Hmm, well I read more of the thread after my post. I think I understood what you meant a little bit better. I've had 2 long distance relationships, one lasted 2 weeks before I met her and one--many years ago--that lasted about a year before we met. Yes there was a lot of fantasy material involved beforehand but I honestly couldn't imagine that being preferable to the actual meeting and resulting deepening of the relationship.

If you have no doubt whatsoever that actually meeting the person will result in deepening the relationship and not put an end to it for discovering incompatibilities that didn't show at a distance, then sure. I'm all for going through those 3 steps: 1) Liking someone online. (Or meeting them briefly.) 2) Getting acquainted in writing. 3) Meeting up soon enough so as to put Humpty-Dumpty back together (about how you know someone).

I don't think basing meeting someone on whether the person is more likely to hurt us or not is the best way to go into a relationship.

Just speaking in general. I won't write you a whole essay at 4am. Your post threw me off a bit.

4am!? Go to bed and do some fantasy dreaming already!

RAMA

 

[ria 75]

All right, short update.
GI Joe met someone!
Curse the evil bitch.

Honestly, past the first few seconds of preparing to control my disappointment, I realized I was more relieved than I would have expected. I think that's lazy of me to give up so easily on the real life scheme.
Of course I'm not broken up about it, but I rationally thought there was a great potential there.

Maybe Trekker4747 and I should start a joint thread together about our dating service experiences. I know I feel a bit disheartened and reluctant to try again. I'm an immediate result kind of gal. I have to work on my patience.

I seem to be passionate, after all. Perhaps I should look for a boyfriend in more passionate places - not totally rational ones like a dating service. But I was counting on other people acting like me: combining the passion and the rationality. There is just a timing component to be reckoned with, I suppose. One doesn't necessarily find the right person the first month on the service. Gotta wait for new members to join, perhaps.

 

[Jadzia]

Awww. Poor Ria

Here you go.

What kind of romantic are you?

My results:

You're a nurturing romantic.
To you, romance is about supporting each other -- cooking a nice meal for your beloved, laughing at his corny jokes, or pretending to like his crazy relatives. You like flowers and chocolates just fine, but would prefer hand-picked posies to an expensive florist's bouquet, and homemade cookies to anything at the Godiva shop. It's the same with anniversaries or romantic getaways: you like them, but what really brings out your romantic nature is fluffing his pillows when he's sick. Similarly, you swoon when he fixes your stuck window, or even helps you fold the laundry. Your deep understanding that true love means caring for one another is sure to bring you a rich and lasting relationship. Just be sure you don't get too cozy -- enjoy your party of two, but don't let it shut out the rest of the world.

 

[ria 75]

Ha ha! Thanks, Jadzia. This is one scoop that won't go straight to my hips.

What kind of romantic are you?

I don't know how I ranked, but I gor the same result as you on this test. I think I'm really a hopeless romantic.

 

[CookieMonster]

My fantasy romances tend to turn out better than my real life ones so...

I dont do the online hunt really. I have decided I might try match.com when I can afford it but that is some time off.

I typically just use the net to make friends. There are a couple TBBSers that I have given my number to, strictly becuase I trust they are not stalkers and they are people I consider friends. Sad that I have more friends on here that I trust than in RL but hey....I have trust issues. I seriously doubt someone is going to fly or drive over a thousand miles just to peek in my bedroom window. Plus, if they did, I have a loaded .22 in my room at all times

 

[TheLonelySquire]

How do you like your romance?

Absentees easily seem perfect, whether they be totally unreal or a partner in a long-distance relationship - and everything in between, like online only long-distance sweethearts.

It's hard to confront those dreams with reality. Do you prefer your love interest real? How do you reconcile the usual fantasy with real life? How does one let real life win? It's so much more trouble...

I used to feel similarly. However, when you really meet the right person, wade through the peripheral stuff, and discover that while they aren't perfect yet they are perdect for you, nothing else compares. And you get out of it what you put in. Hopefully.

 

[CookieMonster]

Awww. Poor Ria

Here you go.



What kind of romantic are you?

My results:

You're a nurturing romantic.
To you, romance is about supporting each other -- cooking a nice meal for your beloved, laughing at his corny jokes, or pretending to like his crazy relatives. You like flowers and chocolates just fine, but would prefer hand-picked posies to an expensive florist's bouquet, and homemade cookies to anything at the Godiva shop. It's the same with anniversaries or romantic getaways: you like them, but what really brings out your romantic nature is fluffing his pillows when he's sick. Similarly, you swoon when he fixes your stuck window, or even helps you fold the laundry. Your deep understanding that true love means caring for one another is sure to bring you a rich and lasting relationship. Just be sure you don't get too cozy -- enjoy your party of two, but don't let it shut out the rest of the world.

Hahaa

I scored the exact same thing...

 

[Hermiod]

How do you like your romance?

Absentees easily seem perfect, whether they be totally unreal or a partner in a long-distance relationship - and everything in between, like online only long-distance sweethearts.

It's hard to confront those dreams with reality. Do you prefer your love interest real? How do you reconcile the usual fantasy with real life? How does one let real life win? It's so much more trouble...

Fantasy is all I've got, sometimes they're not even pornographic too, much to my own amazement.

 

[ria 75]

By the way, my new (temporary) avatar is an ironical comment about my love life. The cat wishes it was a real mouse... but won't let go of this one.

 

[Holdfast]

Some studies suggest [psychopaths are] about 1% of the population, depending on how exactly you define them. Most are able to move through life fairly OK (again, depending on how you define OK) and may not be necessarily (physically) violent. A minority have mild enough traits that they tend to do rather well in life!

I think I am going to prentend I never read that. Between my ostrich side and my paranoid side, I will choose the one that brings me peace of mind.

^ Such delightful bedtime stories you have...

Somehow the stories never go down terribly well on dates...

Maybe Trekker4747 and I should start a joint thread together about our dating service experiences.

I think I would pay to read the thread.

Sorry to hear the guy didn't work out!

 

[RAMA]

My fantasy romances tend to turn out better than my real life ones so...

I dont do the online hunt really. I have decided I might try match.com when I can afford it but that is some time off.

I honestly never had to fantasize much, I know if I were single even now I could probably line up 4-5 dates for the week in a night. I guess maybe that's why I don't really get why anyone would be interested in fantasy over reality. Dreams only get you so far.

RAMA

 

[ria 75]

I honestly never had to fantasize much, I know if I were single even now I could probably line up 4-5 dates for the week in a night. I guess maybe that's why I don't really get why anyone would be interested in fantasy over reality. Dreams only get you so far.

RAMA

Being able to get dates is not the problem. It's finding one who meets your standards.
I'm not interested in going on a date with any given guy, I prefer to stay at home.

Somehow the stories never go down terribly well on dates...

Maybe it depends on how you tell them.
Everybody likes a good story but who likes to be reminded of the dangers they are not aware of? I know that life experiences have made me mistrustful enough in general... until I find myself in a new situation and I can be carefree until I learn a lesson there too.

Maybe Trekker4747 and I should start a joint thread together about our dating service experiences.

I think I would pay to read the thread.

I haven't decided yet how to take this... If you really pay me, it'll be further incentive to make a fool of myself! (I have to be really broke to say this, but since I'm making a fool of myself anyway... )
Anyway, Trekker's okay with it. We'll see.