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Random Thoughts...or...What's on Your Mind?

So I was browsing the Kobo site this afternoon, and I saw a book about a killer that referenced my city's nickname in the title. So I clicked on the listing to see the description, and sure enough, it was actually about my city. It was a non-fiction book about an unsolved serial killer case in my city decades ago. I hadn't heard about this before (to be fair, it was before I was born), so I thought I'd do some poking around on Google to learn more about it.

It turns out the first thing I found was actually about a *completely different* serial killer from my city. Researching further, I found out we actually had a number of serial killers in our history, and in fact, at one point, we were considered the "serial killer capital" not only of Canada, but of the world, because at the time, we were suspected to have the highest number of active serial killers per capita of any city on the planet.

I don't know why I'd never heard of this before, but it's kinda creepy as hell.

In Nova Scotia?

Dad told me a story about when my Scottish ancestors first settled in the wilderness of Quebec in the late 19th Century, there was a close-knit community of Scottish immigrants. Once, there was a "Scotsman" who was wanted for murder or something, by the Canadian authorities. Apparently, my ancestors along with their neighbors helped the guy hide from the authorities.
 
I was recently reminded of the way I look and/or don't look at women, which sparked some self-exploratory thoughts as to why this is, and whether that's good or bad. So, as you might guess, this post is getting a bit personal and honest, fair warning.

For the record, I'm a heterosexual male. But it appears to me that I don't view women in a sexual way unless my attention is specifically called upon to do so. Or it would take me a while to get there on my own.

The recent example which sparked my though-process was the image of Jes Macallan from an upcoming episode of "Legends of Tomorrow", where she's wearing a mock-Star Trek uniform which is particularly tight-fitting. Since the image was in profile, it accentuated the size of her breasts, and this is my point: I never noticed that before. I've been watching this actress on this show for several years now, and I never noticed that.

Now, that in itself wouldn't be much of a deal. But it is only a recent example. In real life, more than once has a male friend commented on a near woman's attractiveness, to which I was previously ... I'm not even sure if 'unaware' is the right word there. I'd seen the women in question, I certainly noticed them in several of these instances, just not in the "hot or not" way.

I'm therefore not really prone to flirting. At least not in every-day life. And the other way around, as well. When a woman is flirting with me, I have the tendency not to notice.
An example for this would be from a few years ago, during the last few days of my involvement in a group (unrelated to sex, mind you). When the group and I said our goodbyes, people were specifically tasked by the group leader to tell me how they viewed me, and quite a few said that I had a certain charme (also, something I never considered myself before, charming). Now, there was one young lady who was relatively new to the group and, since we only spent one or two hours inside a group together, she thought it unfortunate she didn't get to know my charme. I thought nothing of it. And when I say nothing, I mean it. Nothing at all. Then I visited the group a few days later, and while I was talking to some of them, she, sitting nearby, turned to say hello and that she'd "still like to get to know my charme". I merely nodded. It took me another ten minutes or so to realize "Holy shit, she was flirting with me". Now, thank goodness it wasn't too late. Other times, with other women, I had missed my chance.

But it goes to show that my personality in most situations seems to be actually asexual, and there needs to be some kind of catalyst to start up a "sexual mode". This might be due to me being an introvert, anyway, but I think there are other factors.
In recent years, due to my work in a sex shop, I also might have been further desensitized to visual stimulation. Not to say it doesn't work at all, just that I need to specifically pay attention for it to have an effect on me.
Even with that image of Jes Macallan I mentioned above, my notice of the size of her breasts was more matter-of-fact, maybe a little humorous, than really sexual.

Now to the judging part: Is this a good thing or a bad thing? And, of course, it depends. It certainly is good for working alongside women, but also allowing for a number of female friends without sexual tension. I also think it allows me to actually grow attracted to a woman's personality without a lot of physical prejudice. While I certainly have physical preferrences, I have been with a few women who didn't fit those at all, without my attraction to them not being genuine. Though that does have its limits, if I'm being honest.
But it certainly is bad in the way that I described before. I miss a lot of chances. Either by not being aggressive myself, or not realizing a woman's interest in myself.

So, I guess it's okay. Not perfect, but okay. Would I want to change it? Not really. That switch from asexual to sexual mode is probably a very good thing. The one thing I'd like to change would be for the switch to be more immediate.

Well, this was interesting. For me, anyway. If you've read all this, you certainly know me quite a bit better now.
 
Maybe there is a planet out there, somewhere, where these two items have changed places.
They play hockey with the urinal cake, so the aliens have to hit it very gently so it doesent brake,
and then they have lots of hockeypucks in the urinal?

Maybe they also have flying pigs, who knows????
 
I have an etiquette question. I have a new clothes dryer being delivered and installed today. And they're taking away the old one. Am I supposed to tip the installer?
 
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