Pretend we are genie's and try and word a wish that we can't screw up.

[Jayson1]

I think were all familiar with the genie trope were someone gets a wish and then the genie ends up granted the wish but they do it in away in which the person wasn't expecting. Just for fun I want everyone to make a wish but you need to be clever and try and word in away in which you think you can outmaneuver the genie who is going to twist it and really screw you over because I guess that is what they do for fun.

I will start off with my wish. I wish every employed person in the world would send me 2 American dollars in 2017, created in in this decade in single bills and then instantly forget my address afterwards. I think this might be worded enough to trick a genie. I didn't go for enough money that any police investigations would rise up or enough to hurt anyone with paying bills and stuff of that sort. I made sure it was current American currency and not foreign currency I would have problems dealing with in America because it would be lots of it. Made sure everyone is employed so it means you don't have any homeless person going and robing a bank because they have a magical urge to send 2 dollars in the mail. Made sure I went with single's so as not to get tons of pennies. Also with my address instantly forgotten it will stop any mobsters from tracking me down. I also said 2017 so you wouldn't have any money sent "Back to Future" style where it will arrive in the year 2053 when I will be old or dead. I would like to see a genie try and double cross that kind of wording!


Jason

 

[John Clark]

I will start off with my wish. I wish every employed person in the world would send me 2 American dollars in 2017, created in in this decade in single bills and then instantly forget my address afterwards. I think this might be worded enough to trick a genie. I didn't go for enough money that any police investigations would rise up or enough to hurt anyone with paying bills and stuff of that sort. I made sure it was current American currency and not foreign currency I would have problems dealing with in America because it would be lots of it. Made sure everyone is employed so it means you don't have any homeless person going and robing a bank because they have a magical urge to send 2 dollars in the mail. Made sure I went with single's so as not to get tons of pennies. Also with my address instantly forgotten it will stop any mobsters from tracking me down. I also said 2017 so you wouldn't have any money sent "Back to Future" style where it will arrive in the year 2053 when I will be old or dead. I would like to see a genie try and double cross that kind of wording!


Jason

Very well, this decade? - I'll have them all dated 2019 so you have to wait a tiny while before you can spend them:P (and that's not being particularly evil )

 

[Captain pl1ngpl0ng]

Someone at the postoffice had to raise an eyebrow with a billion letters coming to the same adress so a police investigations would probably rise up after all. And you have to open a billion letters, thats gonna take a while, ten letters a minute nonstop for 24 hours is 14400 letters ....

 

[Silvercrest]

I will start off with my wish. I wish every employed person in the world would send me 2 American dollars in 2017, created in in this decade in single bills and then instantly forget my address afterwards. I think this might be worded enough to trick a genie. I didn't go for enough money that any police investigations would rise up or enough to hurt anyone with paying bills and stuff of that sort. I made sure it was current American currency and not foreign currency I would have problems dealing with in America because it would be lots of it. Made sure everyone is employed so it means you don't have any homeless person going and robing a bank because they have a magical urge to send 2 dollars in the mail. Made sure I went with single's so as not to get tons of pennies. Also with my address instantly forgotten it will stop any mobsters from tracking me down. I also said 2017 so you wouldn't have any money sent "Back to Future" style where it will arrive in the year 2053 when I will be old or dead. I would like to see a genie try and double cross that kind of wording!

Easy. The genie makes them all arrive at the same instant. Your wish didn't specify they had to be mailed, only "sent", so the genie interprets that as teleportation. You are instantly crushed under the weight of several BILLION small sheets of paper.

If you were lucky enough not to be standing there at the time, then this is what WOULD happen. Your wording makes this a large, public event, as the appearance of several billion small sheets of paper is not a quiet phenomenon. Your house overflows with them, causing severe structural damage. Homeless people and opportunistic neighbors swarm over your yard, grabbing up bills wherever they stick out of cracks in the structure. Scam artists and criminals come out of the woodwork trying to sell you things or rob you. The local news reports on this phenomenon. Word spreads to national and international news as well as social media. Everyone who sees it realizes this is the place they were simultaneously magically compelled to send two dollars to (even though they forgot the address. Your wording didn't make them forget they did it, so they certainly remember this unusual compulsion). You are audited by the IRS and investigated by the FBI for fraud. They can't prove anything, but your reputation is still ruined. The CIA tries to recruit you because of your apparent mind control abilities, wasting a lot of time and resources before they realize you don't have any. Foreign governments, organized crime, and terrorist groups begin sending assassins after you out of concern for what you might do next.

Oh, and you're permabanned from TrekBBS once T'Bonz realizes you took her two dollars.

 

[Balok's Decoy]

Genies will always find a way to fuck you over. Never ask a genie for anything.

 

[Silvercrest]

It's the old "Monkey's Paw" situation.





Oh crap, another monkey reference.

 

[Kor]

We have an ongoing thread in the secret Admirals' Lounge, where we find a way to corrupt the wish posted by the last person.

I wish to be a wealthy, popular, and respected Hollywood producer with a fleet of Rolls Royces, a mansion overlooking Laguna Beach, and my own private jet, with sufficient insurance to completely cover any possible losses of any of my stuff, and enough good investments so that I can still live the rest of my life in luxury even if something bad happens financially or economically.

Kor

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Genies will always find a way to fuck you over. Never ask a genie for anything.

Especially when it's on the X-Files..

 

[Silvercrest]

I wish to be a wealthy, popular, and respected Hollywood producer with a fleet of Rolls Royces, a mansion overlooking Laguna Beach, and my own private jet, with sufficient insurance to completely cover any possible losses of any of my stuff, and enough good investments so that I can still live the rest of my life in luxury even if something bad happens financially or economically.

I notice you don't specify "healthy".

 

[Captain pl1ngpl0ng]

respected Hollywood producer

You KNOW what's gonna happen next, right? =)

 

[tharpdevenport]

I would hereby eliminate all wish making from genies -- that's the only way to full-proof it. then nuke the bottle from orbit -- it's the only way to be sure.

 

[Avro Arrow]

I wish every employed person in the world would send me 2 American dollars in 2017

So now I have to stand in line at the bank to get foreign currency for... two dollars? Thanks a lot.

And have you seen the cost of a stamp to send mail to the US? That's just mean.

Actually, your wish can be corrupted easily. You just wished that everyone would send you $2. You never said that you would also receive it. Sadly, through a series of mishaps, USPS lost every single one.

I'd send you a second one to make up for it, but for some reason I appear to have forgotten your address...

 

[Kor]

You KNOW what's gonna happen next, right? =)

Yeah, it's probably a good idea to stay far, far away from that particular industry.

Kor

 

[DimesDan]

Fix my pancreas so that I no longer need to artificially introduce Insulin into my system and that it (my fully functional Pancreas) in conjunction with my Liver regulates my Glucose levels.

 

[Avro Arrow]

Yeah, it's probably a good idea to stay far, far away from that particular industry.

Or, you know, don't assault people. That could work too.

 

[Captain pl1ngpl0ng]

Or, you know, don't assault people. That could work too.

Claims of sexual harassment or racism can come whether you did it or not, if you are rich/famous you especially got a mark on your back.

Just last week Mariah Carey's
Security guard Michael Anello
claiming she committed "sexual acts with the intent that they be viewed by Anello."
He says she also called him nazi and skinhead.
Anello also claims Mariah "wanted to be surrounded with black guys, not white people."

(These claims come after his security company didnt get a renewal of the security contract and lost a 2 year deal worth $511,000.)

 

[Avro Arrow]

Claims of sexual harassment or racism can come whether you did it or not, if you are rich/famous you especially got a mark on your back.

Well I cannot deny that false claims may sometimes be made, we can agree that the vast majority of claims do have merit, yes?

Not, of course, to derail the thread too far off topic of determining iron-clad wishes to be granted by magic people who live in bottles.

(Also, I should point out, because I realize my terse wording could be misinterpreted: that was not intended as a slight or attack on @Kor . It is difficult to get a sense of people who you only know online, but I have not seen anything from Kor that would lead me to believe they were not a good person. My apologies if anything else was inadvertently implied.)

 

[Captain pl1ngpl0ng]

It is difficult to get a sense of people who you only know online

^Yeah also its hard to not hear a voice, one can write something with a smile and a happy "voice" in mind, but when only reading the text it can almost mean anything. i often misunderstand stuff online, and im not from an english speaking country so im failing all the time

 

[Silvercrest]

I have not seen anything from Kor that would lead me to believe they were not a good person.

I have! You know how many Organians he sentenced to death?

 

[Doom Shepherd]

"Immediately, totally and irrevocably annihilate every living creature, organism, virus, or energy being within a 0.25 light year radius of my position."

Hey, nobody said it had to be a GOOD wish, made for anyone's benefit.