I think it was JJ's was of saying FU to the long time Trek fans by basically "I'm going to totally change your precious little TOS Enterprise and there's not a damn thing you can do about it."
We really have to stop taking things so personally on this board, as if Frieberger, Berman, Shatner, Takei, Abrams, Orci, et all were after each and every poster on TrekBBS, waking up each morning and wondering with the exact purpose and intention of, "How can I go out of my way to fuck up someone's fanhood today?"
You do have an excellent point that people do take things too personally.
Do I believe that prior to doing the things that many fans found very unpopular the people you mentioned above were rubbing their hands together going "Man I am so excited to fuck up people's fanhood with this move".....No.
BUT
I do believe that, depending on the individual, that sometimes a person that has complete or almost complete control over something like a popular franchise ST decides that THEY are the reason ST exists and, whether it's done by design or just happens, that person begins to believe they are infallable in their decisions and don't bother listening to what fans want.
In a way it's not surprising. Hollywood is full of egos and when someone gains control over something so big usually it takes a very strong person to keep it in the perspective of "Well I still do want include fans wishes in my decisions as well."
The most popular and blatant example is George Lucas. He made two extremely beloved film franchises and seemed to have his finger on the pulse of what fans liked, at least until the end of the 80's.
The he starts tinkering with the "Star Wars" films making changes that are very unpopular with many fans. The fans express very clearly that they don't like these changes, and I think at first they were usually civil about it. So how does George respond? He not only tells the fans tough shit this is how I want the films but he KEEPS adding in changes that only further upset the fans AND he refuses to give the fans the option of having the originals untouched in the best format possible at home.
Then of course the disaster of the prequels happens, which I'm not going to get into in detail, the most obvious symbol of George's failures being Jar Jar Binks. The reaction to Binks is SO UNIVERSALLY DISGUSTED BY ALMOST EVERYONE that Lucas really has no choice to drop him as a main character. But still, and I will always believe this until the day I die, Jar Jar's brief appearances in AOTC and ROTS were his was of saying "Fuck you" to the audience for not accepting the character and that he still believed Jar Jar was brilliant and was going to make sure he appeared in all 3 films, no matter how short.
Of course this situation degraded to the point where George Lucas seems to openly hate Star Wars fans and vice versa and he finally washes his hands of the whole thing by giving his creation to Disney.
I have no idea what happened to Lucas creatively. All I know is the man I see in the Star Wars documentary basically almost killing himself to drag the finished first film into the theatres is not the man I see in the Phantom Menace making shots saying how "Jar Jar" is the key to all of this.....The whole situation is sad really. Had he never made another film after Last Crusade he would be loved universally by fans. Now it's reached the point he loathes the people who used to love him and people actually make up reasons why the original triology was great IN SPITE of Lucas.
For the reboot I believe Abrahams wanted to let ST fans know in some way he was calling the shots now and he wasn't particularly concerned with the fans view of things. Do I think he was doing it maliciously...probably not, but it's like a new coach taking over a team and he let's the players know right away things are going be different than before.
The three most visible symbols of TOS are Kirk, Spock and the Enterprise. Since he can't make Shatner and Nimoy 40 years younger he can't really control those icons...but the Enterprise is another story.
First do I agree changes needed to be made for a 21st century film...absolutely...the original design simply wouldn't cut it. Even if they had just built a new model of TOS Enterprise and added far more detail an technology I still don't think it quite would have worked. But he could have done a great number of things that would have made TOS design up to 2009 snuff and still not look like a completely different ship then it was in the series.
Instead I truly believe he wanted to make his mark by making the Enterprise something that bears only the most superficial look, and an ugly one at that, to the original. He also shows this I believe by making the bridge an Apple store and the engine room a Brewery. It was his way of letting people know in the most powerful way possible that this was his show now. I mean they kept the original uniforms and just changed the design and material a little so it looked good on film....why not do the same thing with the Enterprise?
I know the whole Nero reboot gave him leeway to rewrite everything and it makes sense Kirk would be more angry and screwed up than Shatner because his dad was killed...but really the destruction of one starship to a time traveller change things so much that starfleet decides they whole design of the Enterprise years later is totally different than in TOS? Also apparently now they build them on the ground in Riverside Iowa?!?!? when it was never mentioned or implied before that was the case.
I know some people love the redesign but I hate it because it's ugly and I believe was Abrahams way of showing he was in charge. Not necessarly a FU kind of statement like Lucas did repeatedly, but still a statement nevertheless.
It also makes me respect the refit Enterprise in TMP even more. They could have really altered it to a much greater degree. But, despite the changes they made were significant, they kept the spirit of TOS ship alive in how they did it.......IMHO.