Star Trek: Deep Mall One
Deep Mall One:
Situated on the Cardassian border, Deep Mall One is the Federation's first deep space shopping mall. Besieged on all sides by fashion faux pas, customer demands, and increasing lack of stores that aren't clothing stores, Commander Balding and his valiant crew must fight uphill to keep Deep Mall One operating properly.
Shuttlecocks:
Smaller than a runabout, but larger than a shuttlecraft, the station's 4 shuttlecocks are launched from it's "racket" sections. They serve as mini starships, as far as the plot is concerned.
The Crew:
Commander M.C. Balding
Balding simply wants to ensure things run smoothly. He's an administrator... nothing more. He could care less for the troubles of Pakled traders or a Cardassian delegation. He's boring and a bit of a Herbert.
Lt. Commander Muhammed Jihad
Clearly an attempt by the writers to be culturally relevant. At every oppurtunity, he uses the phrase "my people" a lot and spouts off parables that actually don't come from the islamic faith at all and you can tell the writers totally pulled out of their asses. It basically gives the impression that the writers are a bunch of culturally insensitive gits.
Lt. Alexandra Drake
Chief of Operations. As quite the libertine, she's probably the only Starfleet officer on the show who'll appear not to have a stick up her ass. Think of her as a mix between 1970s Starbuck and Captain Jack Harkness, with a bit of Jack O'Neill thrown in for good measure, and you're pretty much there. Except with less penis.
Technobabble McGuffin
Science officer. An android built specifically for plot development purposes, McGuffin lacks any function except to spout off exposition and activate the main deflector.
Constable Rexx Ahl
An andorian private security enforcer, with a long career behind him. He is determined to maintain order within the mall. Rexx is suspicious of anyone and everyone, and jumps to insane conclusions, based on even the slightest hint. As such, he has arrested more innocent bystanders than can be counted.
Ryan Goodweather
Chief Shuttlecock pilot. The writers will soon forget he is capable of dialogue after Season One.
Tovan
A Romulan from the Men's Shoes Department at the Macys, Tovan is just a "Plain, Simple Sales Rep". However, he is really an exile from Romulus, though his past and motives are unclear.
Roosevelt Mudd
Lovable scoundrel and operator of Mudd's Venetian Record Company, he is constantly under the scrutiny of Rexx, but isn't actually comitting anything illegal. Despite that, most of the characters believe he is a slimy criminal.
EPISODES
1x01 "Remodelling" - The crew sets up shop at Deep Mall One. Meanwhile, the Cardassians arrive, demanding why the Hot Topic is not yet open. We are introduced to alternating villian/good guy character, Gul Segal.
1x02 "Cameo" - Geordi comes aboard DM1, but he is harbouring a deep secret. Which the crew soon discover is that he's secretly STILL A GIANT GLOWY LIZARD THING. And they have to like find a real for real cure this time. Oh, and for some reason, it's contagious. Meanwhile, Goodweather tries writing a book.
1x13 "The Knoll" - While en route back to DM1 from a conference on Beta Minor, a Shuttlecock piloted by Goodweather and Jihad crashlands on a strange, backwards planet. However, they soon learned they actually landed on Earth in Dallas, Texas on Friday, November 22, 1963. While in the past, they accidentally break Lee Harvey Oswald's hand, forcing them to take action to preserve the timeline.
2x14 "Threshold: A Pale Horse Pt. II" After escaping from the palace of the Threshold transwarp lizards on Nimbus III, Drake and Balding must find a way off the world and get help. Meanwhile, Deep Mall One is attacked by the Voth, who demand to know the location of the Threshold lizards, whom they consider to be their gods. The episode ends on yet another cliffhanger as Balding randomly climbs over the edge of a catwalk and hangs precariously by his umbrella.
3x24 "Cardassiflung" In this exciting season finale, the Voth use their quantum implosion device deep within Cardassian space, despite the best efforts of Gul Segal. The whole Cardassian Union is swept into subspace, Deep Mall One included. They are spat out in a distant galaxy ruled by expensive puppets and CG aliens.
4x04 "Reliant Robin" - The crew completes construction of a new custom-built warship, the USS Reliant Robin. And just in time too, Gul Segal is attacked by a Flooflummer Lornax-Class battlecruiser. They must test the Reliant Robin's BAMF cannons against the Flooflummer's doo-dazzlers.
4x24 "Iconianoclasts" - A group of Iconians comes to DM1, seeking political asylum. The moment Commander Balding grants it, a GIANT-ASS MOTHERFUCKING ICONIAN FLEET SHOWS UP.
8x47 "The Nutrageous Okona" - Okona is back. And this time he isn't just outrageous, he's nutrageous! Never mind that he was last seen in the Milky Way Galaxy.
