Pitch good episodes badly

[Balok's Decoy]

A Taste of Armageddon:

Two societies pretend to wage war so they don't have to actually wage war. Kirk forces them to put up or shut up.

 

[at Quark's]

Yesterday's Enterprise:

"Let's see if we can write Tasha out of the main cast for a second time!"

 

[Jayson1]

Encounter at Farpoint: In order to make "Space Great Again" Q builds a wall to keep humans out because they are all criminals and primitive in his mind.

The Game: Riker gets horny and almost destroys the Federation.

"Best of Both Worlds" White people embrace Cultural appropriation by stealing earth stuff from humans. TNG crew gets offended when they see them wearing a Picard and calling it their own.

Tomorrow is Yesterday: Enterprise is flung back in time were it faces danger from 1960's stock footage.

Jason

 

[CRM-114]

A Taste of Armageddon:

Two societies pretend to wage war so they don't have to actually wage war. Kirk forces them to put up or shut up.

The trouble here is that this is actually a pretty good summation of this episode. A solidly bad description of this episode would be:

The Enterprise almost suffers the consequences when Kirk intrudes in a particularly high-stakes game of Battleship.

 

[CRM-114]

Mudd’s Women:
A man who looks like the weird neighbor your parents told you to stay away from, trafficks in women because of course he does.

 

[Vger23]

Remember Me:

Nobody wants to listen to Dr. Crusher again.

 

[Balok's Decoy]

The trouble here is that this is actually a pretty good summation of this episode. A solidly bad description of this episode would be:

The Enterprise almost suffers the consequences when Kirk intrudes in a particularly high-stakes game of Battleship.

It's such a good episode it was hard for me to come up with a truly shitty description.

 

[CRM-114]

It's such a good episode it was hard for me to come up with a truly shitty description.

I think a good “bad” description has to distill an episode to its basics, but also skews them slightly. Like in my original post about COTEOF, that description is essentially true, and yet, it also tells virtually nothing about the episode at all.

 

[Farscape One]

"Contagion" - Due to lack of Norton Anti-Virus programs, one Galaxy class ship is destroyed, and the same fate may befall the Enterprise.

"Time Squared" - Two Picards. One space vortex. There are not four lights... only one in the center.

"Peak Performance" - War games, Zakdorns, self-doubting Data, Ferengi... Oh, my!

 

[Farscape One]

"MANEUVERS" - Seska ties up Chakotay, and ends up pregnant.

"DEATH WISH" - Q wants to die. Q helps Q die.

"THE THAW" - Killer Clown In Inner Space.

 

[at Quark's]

Equinox: At long last, Janeway meets a Starfleet Captain that's more psycho than herself.
(note: I'm not a Voyager hater).

 

[Qonundrum]

By Any Other Name:

Scotty has a stereotyped bender contest with the representatives from the Kelvin empire in Andromeda that commandeer the ship and turn everyone into psychedelic cuboctahedron-shaped Styrofoam bricks for easy storage until they reach their home in 300 years' time, presumably so their offspring some 15 generations later to use them as cheap, disposable slaves and or imitation bouillabaisse for second-rate stews since we're not going to say anything about this since it's all nonessential to the plot since Kirk will win anyway. Just don't step on the red ones, much less get Riley back for a third episode to show off his (equally stereotyped) Riverdance skills in the corridors, much less sit down without looking first... Warren Stevens (who acted better from his guest appearance in "I Spy") is a special guest star who sleepwalks his part as the evil, cardboard Rojan, but doesn't he look good in that orange spacesuit?

Enthralling, ain't it?

 

[Farscape One]

"TWILIGHT" - MEMENTO, starring Jonathan Archer.

SIMILITUDE" - Trip is cloned for spare parts.

"DAMAGE" - Archer becomes a pirate and loots another ship.

 

[Valenti]

A Night in Sickbay - Phlox cuts his toenails. I mean what more do you need?

 

[Tim Thomason]

The Menagerie: Kirk and Spock sit around watching an old episode of Star Trek. A 2-part episode.

 

[JonnyQuest037]

The Naked Time - Joe Tormolen stabs himself to death with a butter knife.

Court Martial - Kirk is accused of murder and is defended by a 23rd century lawyer who doesn't believe in computers. That's like you or me choosing a defense attorney who doesn't believe in automobiles.

The Menagerie - Spock is accused of mutiny and makes everyone watch an unsold pilot as his defense.

Errand of Mercy - Kirk and Spock wear leg warmers and blow up a munitions dump of corrugated cardboard.

City on the Edge of Forever - Kirk, Spock and McCoy learn the importance of always looking both ways before you cross the street.

Mirror, Mirror - Kirk, McCoy, Scotty, and Uhura are transported to an alternate universe where everyone accessorizes better.

Assignment: Earth - The Enterprise travels back in time to watch Gary Seven's unsold TV pilot.

Encounter at Farpoint - The new Enterprise crew meets Trelane and a couple of jellyfish. ...It gets better, you guys.

The Naked Now - The second episode in and we're recycling the old show for the second time in a row. This bodes well.

Code of Honor - ...You know what this show needs? MORE RACISM!!!!

Scorpion - Screw it. Let's just add a big-titted Borg in a catsuit. That oughta get people to tune in, right?

Broken Bow - Let's do that again, but with a Vulcan this time.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

In The Pale Moonlight: Let's troll Gene Roddenberry.

 

[Jayson1]

Relics: Ship discovers a bargin bin Death Star.

The Assigment: Chief O'Brien has a martial spat.

Jason

 

[Gul Sengosts]

Death Wish (VOY):
Q is fed up with being Q, which angers Q. Q brings Q to court and calls Q as witness. Suddenly: Riker. Janeway says go kill yourself.

 

[JonnyQuest037]

Relics: Ship discovers a bargain bin Death Star.

Dude, a Dyson Sphere is the size of a planetary orbit and has a sun in the center. The Death Star is described as being the size of a small moon. I think the Death Star would be the bargain bin item in this scenario.